NEVER judge a book by its cover, so the old saw goes, Mr. Editor, but the PLP Government is trying . . . in more ways than one. I assume that by now, whether they think you creditable or not, that your newspaper has obtained its very own copy of the 2006-2007 Budget Statement (and no, we will not refer to it as B.S. for short, this is meant to be a respectable rag, is it not?) Actually, it's a pretty slick document as Government publications go — a snappy full-colour cover, a small map of the world with Bermuda at the centre, with clearly marked routes reaching out to all corners of the universe. The people down at the Department of Communications & Information are kept pretty busy working on packaging and presentation: they have to.

The look is entirely consistent with the sub-text too: the document is now called "the National Budget", a term which the Minister of Finance started using quite liberally last year.

Like the office in London which the PLP is now proposing, it's their start on the road to you-know-where-they-want-to-go-but-can't-without-ignoring-the-will-of-the-people. If you ask me, and I know you will, Mr. Editor, when you're spending big, you've got to think big, and the cover — so to speak — is the spin.

This Budget Statement was no exception. If it wasn't the looks, it was the length.

It was 51 pages long — half a dozen more than last year and that was long — and it took the Minister just under two hours to read, replete with plenty of repetition about all the great things they think they're doing.

Like in housing, Mr. Editor: One of the five key objectives of the Social Agenda, we were told, not once, but twice, is "putting good quality homes within the economic reach of more Bermudian families".

Oh, really? Funny isn't it how, after seven years in power, new homes are promised "over the next 30 months" (the same 30 months that were promised in the Throne Speech four months ago, you think?). It's no coincidence, I think Mr. Editor, that the next election must also be held within the next 30 months.

It's a Spend and Spin Government that we've got in this lot.

On Spend: Just look at the projected current expenditure for the coming year: $806 million, up some $95 million from last year's original estimate — roughly a 13 per cent increase in spending. Meanwhile, revenue is also expected to be up. The forecast is for an 11 per cent increase of some $85 million. You quickly get some idea of the direction in which the Progressive Labour Party is headed.

On Spin: There were the usual flights of fancy (rhetoric really) as the astute will spot how we have travelled from the New Bermuda with The Social Agenda to — ready for it — the Age of Empowerment.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here, and my colleague the new Shadow Minister for Finance, Pat Gordon-Pamplin, who will be making her debut today with the Official Reply of the Opposition.

Like the Government, Mr. Editor, I have learned it's wise not to step on Pat's toes.

In any event, there will be plenty of time and opportunity in the coming weeks for me to drill down on the PLP Budget which, you might say, is made up of what seems like a Million Little Pieces — with apologies to Oprah Winfrey and James Frey.Not Greek to meYOU gotta love a Greek chorus, Mr. Editor. A good and timely chorus can provide just the sort of relief and perspective we in the Opposition benches can appreciate in that theatre we call the House on the Hill. That's the way it was for us on Friday at various points during the Minister's reading of her Budget Statement: the Rules do not permit "unseemly interruptions", but the seemly are permissible — interpolations we call them. A number of us in the United Bermuda Party — a chorus, if you will — would chime in, unrehearsed of course, not having seen the script in advance, with the words "oh, you mean like in Berkeley"?

The opportunities to do so were numerous, the impulse to do so irresistible. Here's what I mean:

Minister: "Mr. Speaker, 2005 has been a year characterised by natural disasters."

Chorus: "You mean like in Berkeley?"

* * *

Minister: "The additional revenue in 2005/06 was invested in needed infrastructure that will pay social dividends to the people of Bermuda for many years to come."

Chorus: "You mean like in Berkeley?"

* * *

Minister: "During our tenure in charge of the public affairs of our community, the Progressive Labour Party administration has been frugal and attentive to the fiscal values of fairness and equity".

Chorus: "Like in Berkeley?"

* * *

Minister: "From 1998, the Ministry of Finance's strategic goals have been . . . to facilitate accountability in the expenditure of public funds".

Chorus: "Like in Berkeley, you mean?"

* * *

Minister: "The Ministry of Finance will also implement more rigorous accountability mechanisms and measures to improve the control and deployment of Government funds to agreed policy priorities and to help assess the quality of programme outputs and outcomes. Value for money will be the overarching rule".

Chorus: "You mean like in Berkeley?"

* * *

Minister: "This Government is an enabler." (A beauty of a line, Mr. Editor, the best, in fact.)

"We provide the necessary framework of governance, whether by the regulatory and legislative framework, the laws and policies we pass and by making the necessary funding available."

Chorus: "Like for Berkeley?"

Okay, okay, enough already. You get the picture.Sum things in the Budget IF I've got the space, Mr. Editor, I've got the time to drill down for some of the nuggets of information the Budget contains. Here's a quick six-pack for you: [bul] Tired of irritating questions from the plantation called the press? Want your own bona fide and creditable news outlet? Hey, why not start your own TV station and let the poor taxpayers pick up the tab to the tune of $1 million, to start with.

One thing about the PLP, they do deliver on what they promise themselves. In the Budget you will find $800,000 for "TV station equipment" and a further $175,000 for a "Government Television Station" under the Department of Communication & Information under the Cabinet Office.

[bul] Then there's $500,000 for an office in London, although the Minister kept referring to it as "a physical presence". This is a need, they will tell us, which has suddenly arisen. Well, we'll just have to wait to see what's planned and who will get their physical presence there.

You might remember that the BIC (remember them?) had costed out a Charge D'Affaires at $125,000 p.a., an Administrative Assistant at $60,000 p.a. and a Receptionist at $50,000 for a London "mission". BIC also thought there should be a $100,000 allowance for entertainment and travel as well as an employee rent subsidy of $50,000. But that was if we went Independent, wasn't it? Maybe this is a plan to cut down on travel then . . .?

[bul] . . . Not likely, Mr. Editor. The one line item for travel in the Government Budget now stands at just under $12 million, an increase of $6.745 million from last year. Maybe they will tell us that there's been some kind of re-allocation (of money, Mr. Editor, not airline seats).

But no matter what they say, the fact is money for travel has soared under the PLP. The allocation in 1998/1999 when they took over was slightly less than $2.5 million. You work out the arithmetic: it's easy — although it looks a lot more like multiplication than addition.

[bul] Government continues to grow too — not surprisingly. Lots more money, lots more jobs, I guess. The actual number employed stood at 4,860 in 2004/05 and this year the PLP is expecting to employ 5,347, an increase of 169 people.

The increase will include an additional 81 people in Customs from last year. You think long lines will be a thing of the past at the airport — and how did they manage 81 people short? By lots of overtime and this move is Government's attempt to cut down on that?

[bul] A $300,000 feasibility study to determine if Bermuda can develop a local, Bermuda-based offshore fishery to increase the local production of fresh fish. Hmmm, Mr. Editor, how about if they hooked up with Belco on this: fresh sushi anyone?

[bul] Finally this one: Government writes off a $49-million debt owed by the Housing Corporation and calls it "an investment". New accounting, I suppose, in the New Bermuda. Look for more in the coming weeks, Mr. Editor. We start the 42-hour Budget Debate on Monday: three days a week for two weeks.Who The Man? STOP the presses: You'll like this one Mr. Editor. I hear tell there's a new movie due out next month — from the real Hollywood studios, not the new one Government has planned — which apparently is a combination Shakespeare and soccer cleats in an updated version of Twelfth Night entitled — are you ready for this? — She's The Man. A foreshadowing of things to come? Stay tuned — but not necessarily for GP-TV.