Alison Soares felt a tremendous sense of relief when her mother was admitted to Agape House.

Hillary Soares was in the final stages of Lou Gehrig’s disease. She struggled to breathe, had a feeding tube and couldn’t move.

The irony was that the 70-year-old helped found the hospice for the terminally ill back in 1991.

“I don’t think she ever thought about one day being a patient there herself,” Ms Soares said. “I guess none of us really anticipates what is going to become of us.

“Towards her final weeks we discussed it as a family, and she recognised that Agape House was the best thing. But it was, in a strange way, very fitting. It was the ultimate test to see how well Agape House worked.”

Agape House is this week celebrating its 25th anniversary [see sidebar]. The Point Finger Road care centre had 60 patients in the first year it opened, and 112 last year.

Mrs Soares’s hope was to make terminally ill patients more comfortable at the end of their lives. Hospital care tends to focus more on keeping patients alive, and less on quality of life.

“When my mother first founded it many of the patients were dying from Aids,” said Ms Soares, who frequently visited the hospice after school as a teenager. “At the time Aids was still very taboo, and patients needed a safe haven to get the real love and nurturing they required.

“Over time it became a place for the terminally ill, more generally.”

The family was delighted with the care her mother received, Ms Soares added.

“The compassion was so warm, deep and welcoming. I think that the relief you feel once you are received by them is tremendous, because you are grieving and hurting so badly as a family.

“You don’t feel as though you are on a large ward with people coming and going. The care is very personal. It feels more like a home than a hospital. There is a lovely garden outside.

“If you need a moment to yourself, you can step outside and enjoy its peace. It is peaceful and there is not the hustle and bustle of the hospital.”

Mrs Soares died in August 2011. Her daughter said Agape House staff still keep in touch.

“I think she would be proud of the staff, volunteers and, of course, Friends of Hospice,” said Ms Soares.

Mrs Soares was born in India, and raised in Egypt and Kenya. She came to Bermuda in 1963 to work as a nurse at King Edward VII Memorial Hospital. She married Earl Soares two years later and they had four children, Nicola, Jonathan, Alison and Mark, who died as a baby.

Throughout her nursing career she was deeply interested in the plight of patients with terminal illnesses and end-of-life issues. She founded cancer charity Pals in 1980.

After suffering a series of strokes she helped found the Bermuda Stroke and Family Support Association in 1992.

She was made a member of the British Empire for her work in palliative care, in 1998.

Maria Davies learnt she had terminal pancreatic cancer last July. Doctors gave the 84-year-old a month to live — a week later she fell and broke her hip.

Her children felt Agape House was their only choice.

“I thought it would be a very clinical setting,” said her daughter, Sylvia Coelho. “When my mother got moved over there it was like walking into a room full of sunshine. The people there were amazing from the first time we were up there. We had never seen such a group of healthcare staff. They were so generous and caring.”

Ms Coelho said the staff soon felt like family.

“Nurses would hug her and kiss her,” she said. “They treated her like she was their mother. From the cook, the cleaning people, nurses’ aides, doctors — everyone was so caring. They were so empathetic and diligent.”

Visiting hours are flexible at Agape House and children are welcome. Mrs Davies was able to spend quality time with her grandchildren. Even her son’s dog got to visit.

“She used to take care of my brother Douglas’s doberman, Charlotte, while he was at work,” said Ms Coelho. “He took the dog up there to give her company because she lived alone. She really enjoyed having the dog around her. The dog was confused when she got sick and wasn’t around anymore. Her grandchildren would also go up there and sit on the bed and talk to her.”

The 51-year-old said she was particularly appreciative of the counselling her family received.

“We were scared, because we knew mother was going to die. Staff at Agape House helped us prepare. They were able to help us along the different stages before her death. They told us signs to expect. If we were home, we would not have gotten any of that education. That made it easier.”

Mrs Davies died last September.

“Not a day goes by that we don’t think of her,” said Ms Coelho. “We want to do what we can to help Agape House and make people aware of them.

“I have volunteered to help in the gardens at Agape House. They are always looking for volunteers to help out at Agape House in different areas.

“We want people to see what a caring facility it is. It makes what you have to deal with much easier.”

The experience has taught her just how fragile life is. “You have to cherish each day because in a moment your life can change,” she said.

Agape House is celebrating its anniversary with a tea at the Fairmont Southampton on Saturday from 2pm until 5pm. Tickets, $75, are available on 232-0859 or friendsofhospice@bhb.bm.