A dual solution

December 6, 2005

Dear Sir,

The headline in of December 5 that drugs are ?affordable and available? leads me to make the following two suggestions:

1. Ask those in charge of housing policy to be drug dealers. With their Olympic level of incompetence, the supply of drugs would be cut off within days and a huge social problem solved.

2. Put drug pushers in charge of housing policy. With their entrepreneurial and supply skills, the housing shortage in Bermuda would disappear overnight making it ?affordable and available?.

Jackson the right choice

December 6, 2005

Dear Sir,

I have just returned home following a period abroad and I am absolutely astonished that we have not yet identified the Commissioner of Police to succeed Mr. Jonathan Smith.

If we are going to go local then in my opinion Deputy Commissioner George Jackson is the person best suited for the job. Although it has been said that he can be abrasive and does not have great communication skills, and for the most part is not considered a social type of person, he was obviously good enough to be appointed Deputy Commissioner. He has performed this function for practically as long as Mr. Smith has been Commissioner and has acted Commissioner on a numerous occasions.

Mr. Jackson is 100 percent for the job and all it stands for. It would be ridiculous now at this 11th hour to promote to Commissioner anyone below him. Unless someone from overseas is going to be appointed to take over the helm, then George Jackson in my opinion must be best.

The whip needs cracking and Mr. George L. Jackson can crack that whip. Editor?s Note: This letter was written before Mr. Jackson was appointed Commissioner.

Driver was rude

November 15, 2005

Dear Sir,

The 4.30 p.m. bus left St. George?s and made different stops, until the bus driver stopped to pick up a little girl who was about seven years old. She started to get on the bus, maybe she was distracted, the bus driver told her to get on the bus and mind her business (quote) ?you children make me sick?.

The next stop was a couple of tourists. The man was carrying his golf bag, paid his fare for himself and wife, proceeded to take their seat, and the bus driver snapped at him: ?You can?t carry the golf bag down the back?. I said to myself just tell him to put it in front where you put bags. Someone moved their bag over, so he could put the golf bag there, ?talking so nasty to the tourist? a lady said, ?he should have dropped it in her lap for her bad behaviour?.

By now the bus is coming to the stop at the Aquarium. Four more tourists, they asked a question, they wanted to catch the ferry and the driver told them the ferry was already gone, so the four people said they would go to town and look around, they only had American money again. I said to myself ?just tell them to fold it up and drop it in?, so the tourist with the golf bag got up and proceeded to the front to give them four tickets, the driver shouted ?you can?t do that?, and I knew that you can, the tickets were already paid for. What was she making a lot of noise for (again attitude)? The same four thought if we dropped the money in we would get change, the driver snapped and said ?you don?t get change here? and the four came aboard the bus.

So now the bus came into Flatts, opposite the gas station there is a bus stop there. The couple with the golf bag got off the bus, because of her despicable attitude, well believe it or not, she got off the bus to tell these tourists off because they back-answered her and she didn?t like that, talking about she is just doing her job.

She threatened them saying that I better not see you anywhere or maybe I?d run over you.

Utterly disgusting, she should be ashamed of herself, left everyone on the bus and you could hear a pin drop on that bus, made me late for work by 15 minutes.

She is in the hospitality business the only difference is she is a bus driver (poor her) those who hired her better do something about her, utterly disgusting display and most of all threatening tourist.PEMBROKE

Meet Joe Economy

December 12, 2005

Dear Sir,

The waiter (Joe Economy) approaches the dining room table. Seated around the table are Mr. International Business, Mr. Drug Dealer, Mr. Aged Tourism and Mr. White. Buffet is on the menu, however the ?four pillars? order the same thing. Today?s special is discounted and readily available.

As always they enjoy their meals. After dinner, the ?four pillars? retreat to the drawing room. Cigars (citizens in great arrears regarding sovereignty) are served. Tightly rolled, mild, though expensive, the cigars are consumed without thought.

The bill arrives. It is decided to split the bill. Mr. International Business contributes his portion by cheque, however he gets a discount, based on previous contributions. Mr. Aged Tourism, as usual, gets a bigger discount than Mr. International Business. Not because of previous contributions, but because Mr. Aged Tourism cannot seem to balance his income with his expenses. He wants more concessions, even though more birds are in the air. Mr. Drug Dealer makes up the difference, as he usually pays more and will always be around. His contributions have always been valuable and welcomed. He pays with cash.

Lastly, Mr. White, who has always had greater access to credit, pays using his credit card knowing that recent credit policies have been relaxed, so his minimum payments are smaller and he can take another 30 years to pay ?

Joe Economy returns to collect payment. The ?four pillars? pay and give a generous tip. Joe Economy thanks them. Earlier, Mr. Institutional Racism didn?t leave a tip. Joe, thankful for his job, hopes silently for changes in the future, but looks forward to greater service to the ?four pillars?.

This is Joe?s second shift on the job. Is it time to leave? Joe approaches the exit. There are two doors. The exit door to the right says ?People First?. The exit door to the left says, ?Exit?. Joe Economy can?t decide where to go, but wants to leverage his position! He looks down at his Black hands, retreats to the drawing room, takes a cigar and smokes it. Joe seems afraid to inhale and falls asleep.

The next morning, Joe is awakened by Status Quo. Joe, aka ?Gov?, asks Status Quo: ?What?s for breakfast?? Status Quo says: ?Independence ? Indigenous nationals devoted eventually, proclaiming epiphany nonsense despite evidence not consciously evident?.

Joe Economy falls back to sleep. Status Quo leaves to go serve Mr. HSBC. He?s not indigenous, but tips well and even owns the building.

Not so ?great? review

December 16, 2005

Dear Sir,

Please allow me space in your column to reply to Ms. Ren? Hill?s review of this year?s BMDS pantomime ?Robinson Crusoe?.

On the whole, her comments reflected favourably on the production, however, I would like to refer to her opinions of the lead actresses, Nicole Burgess as Robinson Crusoe and Sophie Pearson as Tabitha Tucker.

I would be interested to hear of Ms Hill?s qualifications in commenting on their singing abilities. As a professional musician, I can say that they are both talented with beautiful voices that suit their roles admirably. Ms Hill?s opinion is insulting to the production team that chose them for the parts, to the cast that support them and to the audiences that enjoy their voices every performance. May I suggest that Ms Hill herself reconsider her abilities as a reporter; she ?tried incredibly hard? in her role as reviewer but ?lacked natural (writing) talents?.

A thesaurus might also be helpful for her as she used the adjective ?great? six times in her review!

Bring back the lights

December 9, 2005

Dear Sir,

Like most new things these days, the New Bermuda is cheap, mass produced and tasteless.

Waking hours are a bit of a nightmare for old timers like me ? I have no idea where I am any more. But once a year, come nightfall, the old Christmas lights are brought out to adorn our tropical trees like soft fruit. To me they are delicious, beautiful and home.

When will we wake up to what we are destroying? Peace was one of tourism?s greatest selling points. Now everything is American and glitzy. The traffic is loud, construction is loud, and even the lights are loud. (Christmas lights were meant to echo candles and stars on a silent holy night.)

Neither visitors nor residents are benefiting from these jarring assaults. We are losing our unique identity and melting into American suburbia. Let?s keep the old lights as a quiet celebration of Bermuda?s gentler past.

Enough already, Brannon

December 15, 2005

Dear Sir,

To Tony Brannon, I?d like to say, ?apologise to Gene Steede, and to Bermuda, and move on?. Bermudians have suffered enough ranting by Tony Brannon.

I along with my co-workers listened to Mr. Brannon on the radio talk show where he clearly struggled through questions relating to his personal position on racism. It was not what he said, but rather the hesitation and stress in his voice. Perhaps he realises his response was gravely lacking, and perhaps his subconscious defence mechanisms have put him into attack mode. He should simply apologise and move on.

I notice that Mr. Brannon gives himself and his father all the credit for providing decades of entertainment to Bermuda. Whatever happened to his business partner, Mr. Redford, who did the lion?s share of the work?

As a white Bermudian (40 plus) what attracted me and my friends to Mr. Brannon?s clubs was not the endless stream of foreign bands. Most of his foreign bands preformed somewhere between awful and passable. My favourite band was the Sharks. Yep, no lie, those Bermudian boys could rock! Even so the number one attraction was MTV. Does Mr. Brannon take credit for MTV?

We live in a village; we are all brothers, sisters, neighbours, and co-workers. Please, Mr. Brannon, apologise and move on.

TCD troubles

December 5, 2005

Dear Sir,

It was interesting to read of a local charity being unable to license their vehicles at TCD due to the Social Insurance web site showing them in arrears for pension payments.

This web site also shows my pension contributions in arrears from September through November, 2004. I know for a fact that these contributions were paid, and after numerous calls to the Department of Social Insurance the web site still shows my payment in arrears. What am I supposed to do now?

Thanks for the help

November 17, 2005

Dear Sir,

Please allow us a little space in your newspaper to convey our heartfelt appreciation to the community for their immediate assistance during our unfortunate experience with the Tornado that caught the Bermuda community completely by surprise a few weeks ago.

We extend special acknowledgement to the Premier and several of his Cabinet Members; The Commanding Officer of the Bermuda Regiment and a complement of his soldiers; representatives of the Opposition Party, the Police Service, The Fire Service, Somerset Bridge Recreation Club, Clergy Bethel AME Church, Pastors, Transfiguration Ministries, passersby, telephone calls, relatives and friends.

It would have been extremely difficult without your assistance and sympathetic concern.

Ready to retire at 65

December 2, 2005

Dear Sir,

I wonder how many people in their late 50?s and early 60?s are horrified that their longed for retirement is now going to be put back for another five years. After working hard for approximately 45 years with the hope of a retirement where one can hopefully spend some happy and healthy hours in relaxation and enjoyment, not governed by the clock etc. they can now expect to work for a further five years. There may be some who love their job and don?t want to retire, but if that is the case, why not make this a matter of choice.

There was a time when people were often retired early by their companies to make way for the younger people to join the workforce. As hotel work and tourist facilities are becoming almost redundant, we have many people who are unemployed and yet, just for Government monetary reasons, the older ones are expected to work longer. Perhaps showing some gratitude to those who have helped to build Bermuda into what it was some eight to ten years ago before the more recent squanderings and disasters, by allowing them to retire gracefully and happily, would be more deserving than millions of dollars donated to a cricket game! I often wonder, when the pension increase is given, whether I should buy a loaf this week, or a carton of milk. It doesn?t cover much else.

Indifferent to race

December 6, 2005

Dear Sir,

I cannot let the presumptuous letter from the NAR Committee, published today, go unanswered.

Let me make it clear at the outset: I am a white expatriate, but I have lived here for 23 years, and love Bermuda and consider it to be my home.

The NAR Committee presumes to know the reason for the lack of white attendance at the Tim Wise meeting ? indifference to racism. I beg to differ: indifference, yes ? but to race, not racism. And I genuinely believe this trait to be true of the vast majority of Bermudians (and long term expats), black or white.