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To return or not to return, that is the question

THE ADVENT OF the electronic media caused some Election officials a little consternation.For some returning officers were under the impression that all quarter, half and full results would simply be posted on the Government website for all to see.

THE ADVENT OF the electronic media caused some Election officials a little consternation.

For some returning officers were under the impression that all quarter, half and full results would simply be posted on the Government website for all to see.

And that meant, according to a few officers, that there would be no announcements to the waiting public and media at the polling stations -- until the count was over.

There were fears that, in the event of a computer crash, the Island and outside world would be wondering just who had won where.

Government Information Services said the traditional count proclamations would still be made -- the messaage did not get through to all returning officers, some of whom still refused to give partial counts.

*** WITH tensions running high in Warwick West, any small irritation was likely to cause annoyance to the two parties -- and officials.

So, when taxis adorned with PLP banners -- one said "PLP Victory Bus'' -- and signs kept delivering voters to the polling station, and when one waited for its passengers to return -- a diligent policewoman decided enough was enough.

The alert Wpc approached the taxi and after a short conversation the vehicle moved off.

PLP candidates Dr. Ewart Brown and El James complained loudly that nothing had been done earlier when the UBP vehicle -- minus any adornments -- had dropped people off.

There were even shouts of "Cannibalism'' and "you are eating one of your own'' from the PLP contingent.

Police later confirmed that a ruling forbids any vehicles advertising political parties to come within the polling station environs.

And another restricted practice, handing out dummy voting slips and leaflets by both parties, was also taking place in the Spice Valley car park -- causing more rumblings of discontent.

*** AS any of the Island's prospective MPs will tell you, campaigning can be pretty hard work. After months of travelling around your constituency, knocking on doors, promising to put right the wrongs of the world, your bid for a seat in the House of Assembly culminates on Election Day, which is spent at your constituency polling station greeting those who will decide your future.

Standing nervously for nine hours, sometimes in pouring rain, with a fixed grin that you can never let slip from your face and an arm permanently outstretched to welcome yet another voter, knowing that, in a few hours from now, your fate will be revealed, can be a stressful way to spend the day.

Of course family and friends are on hand to provide support, to fetch another cup of coffee or a quick bite to eat, to shore up energy levels and restore flagging morale.

But what about spiritual assistance? Well, the candidates of Pembroke West were all led to believe that God was on their side as they stood welcoming voters arriving at the Admiralty House polling station yesterday.

For the Rev. Ronald Smith from the First Church of God, was on hand to provide all four candidates with comforting words of religious reassurance.

Dr. Smith handed each of the four candidates -- UBP incumbents Erwin Adderley and Gary Pitman , PLP hopeful Carvel Vanputten and Independent Phil Perinchief -- a card which read: "If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God that he giveth to all men liberally.

"Thank you Lord for not rationing your wisdom when I seek it. You always give more than I ask.'' One wonders how many of yesterday's election hopefuls will become converts to the faith now that the final result is in.

*** WITH hardly any daylight between the two parties during the election campaign, it was only right that come polling day the positioning of awnings should leave little room for movement.

In Warwick West, the UBP early risers pitched their tent close to the door of the Spice Valley station -- only for the PLP to arrive and erect their canvas directly in front of the ruling party.

Clearly, being at such close quarters on Judgment Day didn't suit UBP incumbent Quinton Edness , running mate Yvette Swan and opposites Dr. Ewart Brown and El James .

So, after much consternation and the intervention of Returning Officer Peter Grayson , the UBP showed their humility and moved their tent to the side.

*** WITH much talk of dirty tricks, negative campaigning and general mud slinging between the parties in recent weeks, it is good to see that some politicians can still keep a sense of humour.

Pembroke West incumbent Gary Pitman yesterday laughed off an advertisement in Saturday's Royal Gazette placed by the friends of one of the men who is after his job -- Independent candidate Phil Perinchief .

The advertisement featured a smiling portrait of pro-Independence candidate Mr. Perinchief accompanied by the words: "We know Phil Perinchief. He is a son of the soil.'' In a box below a huge question mark packed the space that should have been filled with Mr. Pitman's features and beside it was the text: "Who is Gary Pitman? Where does he come from?'' Outside the Pembroke West polling station at Admiralty House yesterday afternoon, Mr. Pitman said he found the ad "quite cute''.

"If anything it worked as a bit of free advertising for me,'' he said. "If anyone didn't know who I was before Saturday, they've certainly started asking about me now.'' A supporter of Mr. Pitman's later pointed out that both the Pitman and Perinchief families originally hailed from Somerset.

*** YOU can trust the prestigious BBC to get Bermuda's general election coverage right.

At least you can trust the pioneers of British broadcast journalism after a telephone call from The Royal Gazette put them straight.

Yesterday's World Service Radio bulletins named Jennifer Smith as Bermuda's Premier and Pamela Gordon as the Progressive Labour Party leader.

To make matters worse, Islanders were referred to as Bermudans, instead of Bermudians.

And on top of that, the error was repeated on the BBC Online website, with a full transcript of the false news story under the headline: "Bermudans go to the polls for general election''.

The Royal Gazette rang their London newsroom to point out the errors.

And red-faced Latin American news editor Nick Caistor apologised for the mix-up.

"It was just a genuine slip by the person who did the story early this morning,'' he said. "It was just a straight switch of names. We're sorry for that and it will now be corrected.'' *** A MAN encountered a woman friend yesterday morning who asked if he had voted.

He told her that he was on his way to vote. She replied that she would vote after work.

Man: Where do you vote? Woman: Warwick.

Man: Which district? Woman: I vote for Tim Smith and Harry Soares .

Tim Smith is Paget West and Harry Soares is not running this time. Where did the woman wind up? We don't know.

*** MOST women who choose to go by a double-barrelled name do so to avoid any confusion over their identity.

But the practice proved to be chaotic for at least two of The Royal Gazette 's staff members.

News Editor Carol Parker Trott and senior reporter Kim Dismont Robinson came close to being turned away at the polls yesterday.

Mrs. Parker Trott turned up at Southampton Glebe School -- polling station of Southampton West -- only to be told that her identification, a driver's licence, did not match her registered name.

Despite insisting that she registered as Carol Anne (Parker) Trott and producing credit and debit cards with her full name, the scrutineer demanded to see other identification.

With her husband already in a booth, Mrs. Parker Trott thought she would have to go all the way home. But she was rescued by returning officer Oda Mallory who informed the worker that Mrs. Parker Trott was indeed who she claimed to be and a senior Royal Gazette employee.

Meanwhile, Miss Dismont Robinson discovered that she was not correctly registered when she turned up at Northlands Primary School or the Pembroke West Central polling station.

Last week she was informed that her family submitted two registration forms accidentally. One under Dismont-Robinson, the other under Robinson.

"I received a call from someone in the Parliamentary Registry, asking which one it should be,'' she said. "We were advised to put it under Robinson because our passports have that name.'' They assumed that everything was in order.

But yesterday Ms Dismont Robinson discovered that she was not listed under Robinson. Instead her name appeared under Dismont-Robinson. However, it was crossed off with an "a'' next to it, meaning amended.

She was forced to wait half an hour as Parliamentary officials tried to rectify the situation.

Finally, they told her she could vote. But as she made her way to the booth, Ms Dismont Robinson was stopped and asked if she was Dane, her brother. He had been listed as a female and Kim as a male.

That mistake was easily rectified and Miss Dismont Robinson proceed to cast her vote.