Christmas is traditionally a time for joy, merriment and sharing - but for the family of the late Chardre Yawana Outerbridge Young it is a time of sadness and remembrance.

It was a year ago this holiday season that the fun-loving 20-year-old was involved in a serious road accident that ultimately took her life.

For parents Charmaigne Young Laws and her father Andre Outerbridge, and her step-parents, it has been a roller-coaster year.

But as they approach the first anniversary of her death, they look back on the precious gifts she gave others by donating her organs, and they revel in the good times that they shared.

"I can honestly say that I have not really let go yet," said Mrs. Young Laws.

"There are pictures all around the house of her and I still talk about her as though she is here. The year has gone so fast, it all still feels like yesterday. I guess I'm in some kind of shock and I guess I'm still grieving.

"But I miss her so much, especially now. It takes my mind back to events last year and it causes me to feel sad."

Chardre was on her way to see her boyfriend Stephan Lightbourne at about 1 a.m. one year ago today when she was involved in a collision with an ambulance on Middle Road in Paget.

She suffered massive head, spine and chest injuries and, after a few days on life support, doctors pronounced her brain dead on New Year's Day.

Her parents decided they wanted Chardre's organs to be donated to people in need, so her body was harvested and her support machine was finally switched off.

It was bittersweet for the family, for although they had lost their beautiful daughter, they knew many people were going to be given life by her passing.

But now, as Christmas is here, they think back to their family gatherings on Christmas and Boxing Day last year, when they took final pictures of Chardre having fun with her grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.

Unbeknown to them, just hours later, everything would change forever.

Sitting on Chardre's bed, in the untouched bedroom that the young woman left behind, her mother said she hoped some time soon to be strong enough to meet the recipients of her daughter's body parts.

She has received a letter from a grateful Hispanic woman who received one of Chardre's kidneys, and said that although she has so far felt unable to reply, it gave her great comfort to know that she was doing well.

And she also received a And she also received a letter from a man whose wife had received one of her daughter's parts. Mrs. Young Laws said although his wife had died later of unrelated complications, he had told her that he was very grateful for the extra time she had been given with him.

Stroking one of Chardre's favourite things, her stuffed Tweetie Bird, and wearing a specially-made T-shirt in memory of her daughter, Mrs. Young Laws explained how although she had given away some of her clothes and shoes, there were many items she had been unable to remove.

Her hair and face products still sit in one of her cupboards, her Tweetie towels still hang in her private bathroom, and all of the clothes she made herself still hang in the wardrobe.

A talented dress-maker and designer, Chardre had outfits for every occasion - and shoes to match.

But even her bike, which had been written off in the accident, has been fixed and put back on the driveway. To all intents and purposes, it is as though Chardre is still here.

"When I sit in her bedroom, I don't feel different to how I do anywhere else, but if ever I don't wear the button (badge) containing her picture, I feel totally empty," said Mrs. Young Laws.

"If I don't wear it, I feel as though I'm leaving her behind.

"The most difficult thing of the year has been accepting her loss. For a while, I acted as though she was still here, but that I just didn't see her.

"I used to have a lot of dreams about her, and they were all about the good times that we had, like shopping. But then I would wake up feeling very upset because I realised it was just a dream.

"The dreams are not as frequent as they used to be, but I had one just a couple of weeks ago. I think they are just about me missing her so much - she is on my mind morning, noon and night."

This Christmas, Mrs. Young Laws and her husband Kent were going to spend Christmas Day with family at her sister's house, and Boxing Day will be the same as last year, at her cousin's house. Only this time, Chardre will not be there.

She knows it will be sad, but she said they decided to stay on the Island to have the support of family and friends.

"My first thought was that I didn't want to be on the Island for Christmas," she explained.

"I wanted to be in a totally different environment, but then I realised that my feelings would be with me no matter where we went. I would still feel the same way.

"So, I decided that I may as well be feeling it with family who can support me. They know what I'm going through, and they are going through it, too, so we can support each other."

But the grieving mother said she hoped that once the anniversary of Chardre's death had passed, and she was not constantly thinking about `this time last year', she would begin to feel better.

She added: "The last year has really been an emotional roller coaster. I have been up and I have been down, but most people don't see that because I don't like to show my emotions to anyone - not even my husband."

But Mrs. Young Laws said that when she was alone, she was more able to let out her anger, frustration and hurt.

"I do cry, but mostly when I'm driving," she said. "I have not been able to drive along Middle Road in Paget since the accident. I know one day I will have to make myself go past where the accident was, but for now I drive around it.

"And whenever an ambulance goes by me, I become hysterical. I don't blame the ambulance driver who was involved at all; I see him and we speak. But just seeing an ambulance brings out my feelings."

But she said, like her, she hoped the ambulance driver was also beginning to heal after he, himself, was traumatised by the accident and Chardre's death.

"I have always been a very organised person, and I will plan my year with regards work and vacation," she added.

"I guess I have pretty much done that this year, with respect to work and vacation, but outside of that, that has been it. I wake up and I am just grateful to be spirit life.

"What comes tomorrow is new and I have to wait for it. I just take one day at a time. I just hope it gets easier after the anniversary, but I don't think the pain will ever really go away."