Dear Carla: So my daughter who is 17, is an honour student always abides by curfew. She works and pays for her own phone, participates in community service etc. She asked me if she can go to a hotel for New Year’s Eve with friends. I said, “no”. She feels I don’t trust her ... for me it’s not lack of trust in her. I don’t want her end up in a situation where she shouldn’t be. Not just morally but her safety. I don’t understand how is it that parents allow their children to do that. I’m doubting my decision ... because she really is a good kid. I honestly am torn cause she really is a good kid and gives me no trouble at all. Sigh. — AM I MEAN?

Dear Am I: No I do not think you are being mean. As her mother you have every right to be concerned especially since there will be no adults present. Teens staying at hotels is not uncommon though on special occasions. How well do you know her friends? Will there be boys present? If so, what time are they leaving. There are so many ways to look at this. By not allowing her to go you are telling her despite how well behaved she is you don’t trust her. But on the other hand, I would be apprehensive too if I was in your shoes. If it was my 17-year-old daughter and I was satisfied that she would be with a decent group of friends, I would allow her to go. Since New Year’s has passed I’d be interested to know what you decided.

Dear Carla: My daughter is 14 and no longer wishes to use feminine napkins. When I was coming up I was not allowed to until I was 18. Should I? — OLD FASHIONED

Dear Old: Times have changed so much. At 14 this is a conversation I would have been mortified to have with my mother. I say let her but teach her how to use them properly. Go online and look for age appropriate content that you can share with her. Teach her about the health risks and how vital it is to exercise proper hygiene. She’ll be fine. Let her get used to them now so that by the summer comes she won’t miss a beat when swimming rolls around.

Dear Carla: I’m having a birthday party soon and I want my ex-girlfriend and her spouse to attend. We all get along. Problem is my girlfriend is so jealous of our friendship that she causes nothing but friction whenever we are in the same space. I see no reason for exes to hate each other. She and I broke up because she was away in school and we couldn’t handle the distance between us. While I don’t want any drama at my party, I want my ex and her boyfriend to come. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. — BIRTHDAY BOY

Dear BB: I’m confused as to why your girlfriend is jealous. Clearly your ex serves some threat. Do you know why? If you don’t know I think you should ask. It’s not like your ex is single. She’s coming with her boyfriend. It’s your party and I think you should do what makes you happy. Invite your ex and her boyfriend. Just make sure that you don’t do anything to make your girlfriend feel insecure. Happy birthday when it comes.

Dear Carla: I want to start a Facebook page so that I can stay in touch with my friends outside of Bermuda but my wife has an attitude about it. She says that Facebook is where people start cheating. I don’t have an interest for all of that. I say if people are going to cheat they don’t need a computer to do it. I don’t want to start one behind my wife’s back but I really want one. What do I do? — FEEL LIKE A KID

Dear Feel: Do not, I repeat, do not start a page without your wife knowing. That is the recipe for disaster. There is no need to bring drama into your marriage over social media. And you are correct; a person who wants to cheat will do so ... whether they have a Facebook page or not. Your wife must have heard a bunch of horror stories to feel so passionately. No disrespect, but your wife needs to understand that people started cheating way before social media came along. Sit down with her and create the page in her presence. An idea: name it after both of you. For eg. CarlaEd Smith. Put a picture of the both of you as your profile pic. Give her the password. Surely she’d feel more comfortable then. And I bet you in time she’d be on there as well. Good luck.