in this world.'' This is the word from Mrs. Lucy Willitts, who has just returned from war-torn Bosnia-Herzegovina.

Speaking about her experiences during a week's "mercy'' trip to the area, Mrs. Willitts says it is impossible to remain "the same person'' after visiting a country that is at war with itself.

"I've come back with mixed feelings. There is almost an air of unreality about the normality of Bermuda. And when I hear and read the constant, petty bickering that goes on here, it makes me despair -- because I have seen how it can end when people have no respect for human life. Bermudians, black and white, have to learn to hold hands. We live in a paradise and instead of harping about the past, we should be happy about the great future we have, living here.'' Mrs. Willitts, who had to receive clearance by the British Foreign Office to go, made the daring decision to return to Medjugorje -- the pilgrimage site visited by millions be fore the civil war -- in an effort to bring some help to the besieged people there and to assess what sort of future assistance might be offered by her fellow Bermudians.

During the visit she met with people who have seen and lived through unspeakable atrocities: "We're not talking about people just being shot to death but the way in which they are tormented before they die. I have spoken with people who have seen women's heads severed, women raped and their breasts hacked off, pregnant women having their stomachs slit open and their babies wrenched out and killed, nuns being raped and priests murdered by crucifixion.'' Now she is trying to organise the shipment of a container of supplies urgently needed by the people of Bosnia.

And, because of a chance reunion with a refugee woman who had formerly worked as a guide at Medjugorje, Mrs. Willitts and a group of Bermuda residents are now desperately attempting to arrange for safe passage from Bosnia to a domicile in a nearby European country for her and her elderly mother.

Armed with supplies of children's pharmaceuticals, vitamins, sugar, tea, coffee, soap and shampoo, Lucy Willitts set off for London, where she met up with 17 English members of the Centre for Peace. Together with a journalist from a Scottish newspaper, they flew to Zagreb.

It was there that the journalist, donning a bullet-proof vest before leaving for a "hot-spot'', was told by a Croatian soldier, "I hope you've got protection for your legs because that's where they will shoot you first.'' To date, 26 journalists have died while trying to reveal to the world the tragic events unfolding in the very area where the shot of a lone assassin led to the outbreak of World War One.

It was also in Zagreb that BBC Radio interviewed Lucy Willitts.

"The interviewer seemed to be very intrigued that pilgrims were still going to Medjugorje to physically pray for peace and to take supplies in.'' Asked if she was nervous about going to the centre of Bosnia-Herzogovina, Mrs.

Willitts replied: "It was as if we were cradled in and cradled out. We travelled for three hours through the night by bus from the airport so we couldn't see too much. Coming from Croatia into the war zone, we were checked by the authorities so that they could make sure we were who we said we were.'' She admits that it was very unnerving to hear the steady boom-boom of heavy gun-fire in Mostar, only 15 kilometres away. Medjugorje is crammed, she says with Red Cross officials and UN soldiers from Canada, France, Spain and England.

It was in 1981 that six children in the village of Medjugorje, some 50 kilometres from Sarajevo, reported that the Virgin Mary had appeared to them on a nearby hillside. Allegedly, she has returned almost daily ever since, even though the children are now adults. More than 18 million pilgrims have subsequently made this village one of Europe's most famous.

But Mrs. Willitts found only a few hundred refugees in the village she had visited seven times previously. There is, she says, a great fear that the Serbs will soon turn their attention to Medjugorje, because of the alleged apparitions.

"Imagine my astonishment when I saw an old friend called Antonia, whom I'd met on previous visits, walking down the street. She looked across at me as if she'd seen a ghost! She was overjoyed to see me and said it was wonderful to know, at last, that Bosnia had not been forgotten by the outside world.'' Antonia is a professor of English whom Mrs. Willitts had met as a guide on previous visits. She is now a refugee who has lost everything in the war.

"She had been in the US and just happened to be in Bosnia when war broke out.

She went into Sarajevo to get her mother out of the city but they were trapped there. Their apartment was bombed and they had to live in a basement for two months, relying on rain for drinking and washing water. She saw her friend gunned down right in front of her when they had dashed out one day to buy some food.'' Even though Antonia has since reached the relative safety of Medjugorje, she confessed to Mrs. Willitts that she often wishes that she had died in Sarajevo and has since contemplated suicide: "The stigma of being a refugee, with no home, no work, no money and relying on the charity of others is especially unbearable for someone of her abilities.'' Mrs. Willitts says she would like to see Bermuda contribute "something physical'' for the container she is organising for Bosnia: "Some of the group took soft "cuddlies'' for the children and they were so thrilled. We distributed things like canned goods and milk but these children have no toys at all and you should just see their little faces light up when they are handed a teddy- bear!'' Donation of money is a problem, she explains, because it would have to be taken in personally to ensure that it reaches the right people: "I did manage to distribute money given to me by people in Bermuda.'' Mrs. Willitts, who worked last year with Mother Teresa, helping the poor of Calcutta, says that even that experience did not prepare her for the realities of returning to a country where genocide has become an everyday experience.

"This is nationalism gone mad. And that's something we should think about here in Bermuda. Because every time we say we don't want this or that person here because of their nationality or religion, or whatever, we are also practising a form of `ethnic cleansing' -- even if it's a mild form, it still sets dangerous precedents.

"As I see it, most of Bermuda's problems are based on pure greed. We envy our neighbours and we want the biggest and best of everything. In the process we are learning how to hate -- and just look where this insane hatred has led Yugoslavia.'' See Page 1 for Bermuda refugee appeal for Bosnia-Herzegovina BALKAN BEAT -- Two young Spanish soldiers who are part of the huge UN presence in Bosnia-Herzogovina.

MEDJURGORJE MEETING -- Mrs. Lucy Willitts pictured with a young, off-duty English solider serving with United Nations forces in Bosnia-Herzogovina.

REFUGEE HELPS REFUGEES -- Antonia, who lost all of her possessions in the bombing of Sarajevo, is now a refugee in the "miracle village'' of Medjugorje. Here, she hands out food donated by Mrs. Willitts and the Centre for Peace group to fellow refugees.