Patricia Pogson was in and out of the Bermuda Industrial Union (BIU) building because her mother worked there, yet she had never set eyes on Graham (Dewey) Nesbett, a union organiser and assistant general secretary, until the day she met him on the steps and he tried to have a conversation with her.

"I wasn't interested but we ended up exchanging telephone numbers, and agreed to meet one weekend," she says.

The mother of a teenaged son, the then-Miss Pogson had been "in and out of relationships" without finding someone with whom she felt truly comfortable, yet she did want to marry. So she made a decision.

"For about two years I decided I was going to be celibate, and I prayed, fasted and meditated that God would send me the right person to complement my life, and I was very specific in what I asked Him for. In fact I wrote it all down," she says. "I then decided to have a list of questions which I would ask the next suitor. I put them all into a red velvet book and there were 121 of them that he would have to answer."

The first Pogson-Nesbett "date" was in Spanish Point Park where they sat on a bench, surrounded by the whispering casuarinas and the beautiful blue sea, whiling away a Sunday afternoon talking about any and everything, including other parts of the Island they would like to visit together.

Finally, Mr. Nesbett stood up and put his hand on Miss Pogson's shoulder.

"I felt the most wonderful feeling, but I told him it was time for me to go home," she recalls.

Undaunted, he phoned again, and upon learning that she was preparing to travel, asked for her telephone number.

"He actually called me while I was away and I've never laughed and blushed so much," she says.

When she returned home, the smitten Mr. Nesbett always made a point of finding her wherever she was - something she found extremely romantic.

One year later, her mind was made up.

"You kind of know when the person is right, so I asked him question: `When are we getting married?' I was very serious and he was very embarrassed," she says.

`Stunned' might have been a better word, for when it came to popping the question, Mr. Nesbett was definitely a traditionalist.

"It's very strange when a woman does that to you," he says. "I thought, `What's happening here?' I know the woman is always ready first with the question, `When is this guy going to marry me?' but it was a good thing I was sitting down at the time."

So, despite being pressed for an answer, Mr. Nesbett responded just as he always does when he wants to say the right thing.

"Let me choose my words carefully," he began, "I will give you my answer later." True to his word, four months later he popped the question - but not down on one knee, apparently. Instead, according to his wife it was, "Hey, I think we should get married."

When Miss Pogson told her mother, Ethel Godwin, about the proposal, she was both astonished and excited. Since she had apparently "never liked" any of her daughter's previous suitors, her daughter had failed to tell her about Mr. Nesbett. Even though they both worked at the BIU and she had always admired him, his prospective mother-in-law had no clue about the romance. She was, however, more than happy to give her blessing to the couple - something which was very important to Miss Pogson.

"You know, he is a beautiful person," she told her daughter. "I would love to have him as my son-in-law," and thereafter lost no time in "wooing" him as well - with freshly-baked cookies and cakes.

As for the 121 questions, "He passed them all but one, which I understood," Mrs. Pogson-Nesbett says.

"My husband is a Rasta, and I was raised in the Anglican church but switched to the New Testament Church of God. I asked him if he would go to church with me, and he said `Perhaps'. He did go with me once, but he a very quiet and spiritual man, and their service is very lively, so I don't think it was the spiritual place he wanted to be."

The wedding date was set for a year hence: November 2, 2002 - a date so chosen because it was the anniversary of the coronation of the late Ethiopian Emperor Hailie Selassie. The couple wanted their special day to be a holy one, so their planning included studying many books and illustrations.

Unlike many prospective husbands who prefer to leave the fashion details to the women, Mr. Nesbett took an active interest in all of the planning.

First, however, he designed his wife's engagement and wedding rings, based on a magazine illustration he had seen. The two broad gold bands she now wears were handmade in New York and incorporate a pyranid, ankh, and Ra the sun, into which a diamond is set. Combined the symbols mean, "The power of eternal life and love under the sun".

"It was the most romantic thing he did," Mrs. Pogson Nesbett says.

One thing the couple insisted on was a real "connection" between themselves and everyone associated with the wedding preparations, and so it proved purely by happenstance. The wife of the New York jeweller who made the rings, Queen Afua, had been to Bermuda for a seminar at which Miss Pogson sang.

The African-style wedding garments for the bride and groom and their attendants were designed by a Nigerian man in New York whose family knew their mutual friend and fellow Nigerian, Mr. Rotimi Martins, who lives in Bermuda. On their honeymoon they met a couple with Bermuda connections too.

"So we knew it was just meant to be," Mrs. Pogson-Nesbett says of the union. "Dewey called me his queen and I called him my king - so everything for the wedding party had to be gold for "royalty".

Following their marriage in a colourful Ethiopian Orthodox ceremony conducted by Kes Tewold? Miriam in the Clocktower Building at Dockyard surrounded by friends, relatives and dignitaries, most of whom dressed in the African style, the newlyweds embarked on Caribbean honeymoon, which included a stay in St. Maarten and a cruise on which they became close friends with a couple who once lived on the US Base here.

"It was the most heavenly vacation I have ever had," Mrs. Pogson-Nesbett remembers, not least because her hard-working husband was ordered to leave his laptop at home!

As expected, the newlyweds are now happily settling into married life.

"Dewey is a jewel," she says. "He is a very gifted man with words, and what I absolutely love about him is that he has educated himself to be able to fix anything that breaks in the house: air conditioning, electricals, masonry, woodwork, tiling. He is a wife's dream! And he also likes to cook, and he makes me laugh."

Mr. Nesbett is also a romantic who loves to fill their home with the scent of incense, candles and oils, including frankincense and myrrh - something else his wife really appreciates.

"There is always something burning, that is part of our daily ritual," Mrs. Pogson-Nesbett says. The couple also never part or reunite without a kiss.

"Marriage is much more beautiful than I imagined," she says. "He still calls me his queen, and he also likes the sound of `Mrs. Nesbett'."

Asked what she thought the most important thing in cementing their marriage was, the language arts teacher responds: "Putting God first."

Mr. Nesbett, who has a ready sense of humour, concurs. "From the beginning we have had a very, very good relationship that has just gotten better. Ours is a partnership, and she has a lot of respect for our marriage. I'm not going to get rid of her, I'm in it for the long run. We try to read our Bible every day, and we have found that when we don't read the scriptures for a while things start to fall apart outside our relationship, so we refocus."

With their union the couple now have a ready-made family: her son, and his daughter and son from a previous marriage, as well as a grandchild.

Since Love is the big focus of today, each was asked how they will spend their first Valentine's day as man and wife.

"We don't celebrate Valentine's Day because we think it is pagan," Mrs. Pogson-Nesbett says. "In fact, I'm going to be in New York with some girlfriends."

"Every day is Valentine's Day for me," he husband declares. "I shouldn't have to wait for one day of the year to treat my wife good. That doesn't make any sense."