A FEW weeks back my church, Marsden First United Methodist Church, held its annual Men's Day Celebration. A few other churches also held Men's Day services. It was a time to reflect on what it means to be a man. There are many books, many theories, many pearls of wisdom and many views on what it means to be a man.

Our Men's Day Choir sings a song every year for Men's Day that is very poignant and specific on what it means to be a man, at least to me. The words are so inspiring and meaningful that I saw men in the congregation who were emotionally moved as they listened. This happens every time we sing this song and I will share the words with you, but you'll have to wait until after the Top 20.

Holding at number one is the hot track by Ray J featuring Young Berg, which is called Sexy Can I. At number two for the second week is a former essential new track, Lollipop by L'il Wayne featuring Static Major. Climbing to number three is The Way That I Love You by Ashanti. Falling to number four this week is the new song from Usher featuring Young Jeezy, entitled Love In This Club. Check out Love In This Club Part II that features Beyonce.

Up to number five is last week's essential new banger, No Air, the new hit by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. Falling to number six is Touch My Body by Mariah Carey, largely due to the banging dance mix. She's getting a lot of press lately thanks to the recent wedding and marriage to Nick Cannon. It makes you wonder if this was the real reason for the wedding. They both needed a bit of press but let's be happy for them and hope that it really is love.

Up to number seven is 4 Minutes by Madonna and Justin Timberlake. Madonna is still super fine. I'm shocked but not bothered by the rumours suggesting that she and Alex Rodriguez have something going on. Poor guy - the media will not leave him alone, but I guess he put himself out there for the scrutiny by being where he was, when he was there. I wouldn't want to be a celebrity. The scrutiny would kill me.

Down one space to number eight is The Boss by Rick Ross featuring T Pain. Don't Stop the Music by Rihanna drops to number nine. You must listen to the killer house mix, which is giving this track additional shelf life.

Now some kicking new tracks. Up to number ten is last week's essential new banger, Bust It Baby Part 2 by Plies featuring Ne-Yo. On the way up at number 11 is Heaven Sent by Keyshia Cole. Improving to number 12 is Chris Brown's new single Take You Down. Up to number 13 is a former essential new banger I Luv Your Girl by The Dream. Improving to number 14 is this week's essential new tune, Alicia Keys' new hit entitled Teenage Love Affair.

Falling to number 15 is Dey Know by Shawty Lo and down to number 16 is Sensual Seduction by Snoop Dogg. Tumbling to number 17 is hot boy Chris Brown with his new hit single With You. Falling to number 18 is I Remember by Keyshia Cole.

Now, this week's essential new tune. In at number 19 it's A Milli by L'il Wayne. I can only imagine that he is talking/rapping about money. New at number 20 is Trey Songz's new hit, entitled Last Time.

Now back to this week's words - what it means to be a man. The song to which I referred to earlier and which our Male Voice Choir sings every year at Men's Day is called I Am A Man. I have to thank my mom for dashing into the sanctuary to procure the music for me so that I could get the words in their proper order. So profound, meaningful and appropriate are the words to this song that I thought to use them as the main body of my text for this week. The words to this song are essentially a guidepost for any man and for what his role should be. They are as follows:

"I am a man, created in God's image. Of Adam's race, now marred by pride and sin. But through God's son, Lord Jesus Christ my Saviour; I am a man, who's now restored to Him. The mighty God, who made me has redeemed me. Now I'm His man, for Jesus reigns within.

I am a man, appointed by my Saviour; to show his love, in all I do and say. His Holy Spirit is my source of power; to live in light and point to Christ the way. Lord fill me now and help me seize this moment and as your man, I'll serve your cause today.

I'll be a man, who walks with God in worship. I'll be a man, who walks with man as friend. I'll be a man who loves and serves his family. I'll be a man on whom God can depend. Lord Jesus Christ, my King and my Commander, I'll be your man, until my life shall end."

Unless you are a complete buffoon, you will agree that these words are appropriate and provide direction. The bit that is so meaningful to me is the second line of the third and final verse, which talks about being "a man who loves and serves his family". That part is for me what it is all really about and it is against this phrase that I judge my own performance as a father and husband. I invite other men to do likewise.

It is nice for men to give back to society and share his time and talent with community organisations. But if a man can't do it all, he MUST at the very least, love and serve his family. Not everybody can manage taking care of family, working the couple of jobs that many Bermudian men must work to provide for their families and serving on charities/clubs/community organisations.

Those who can balance this and do all things, well, are special people. Those who can't must at a minimum take care of their families (my dad always reminds me that "charity begins at home"). We have issues in our country because so many men (and women - but that's another story for another week) are not loving and serving their families.

Our children need us. They are begging and pleading for guidance, direction and love. I heard a story of a 17-year-old young lady who has been on her own since approximately age 13, lives with family members other than her parents, hangs out with her boyfriend who is a bit older and wishes her parents cared about her more.

Children know what they need and adults know what they are supposed to deliver to their children. So why don't we just give it to them.

The young lady referenced above believes that her parents don't care about her and are more interested in working several jobs to make money than spending time with her.

This is important and difficult because on the one hand parents are required to provide the basic necessities for their children.

Since everything in Bermuda is priced for families with disposable incomes over $100,000 (yes, that's the poverty line folks!) and a large percentage of the families do not make over $100,000 per year, many of these parents have to work several jobs to survive in this country. Granted some of this is the result of choices people made earlier in their lives (like having children too early in life or before being properly prepared), but these people still have to live and they are not, it seems, able to strike a balance between working the extra hustle and spending the time with their children that they deserve.

This is the sad reality but the challenge is for parents to find that balance, so that they can provide the basic necessities but still spend enough time to properly raise, love, teach, guide, protect and care for their children.

Peace ...