More men are needed to play leading roles in community organisations that help boys develop, an audience was told on Tuesday night.

And parents were advised to get to know and understand their children?s learning styles.

It was standing room only at the St. Mary?s Church hall where the second of a four part community forum on developing Bermuda?s boys was held.

?I know you go home tired. You go home weary. But when you go home to your first job... that is when we need to be at our best,? panellist Deena Lister told the parents in the audience.

?You are and will always be your child?s first and lifelong teacher. You know your child and then you send them to school and somebody changes their mind about the gift that they have. Don?t let that happen.?

Mrs. Lister, deputy principal of Sandys Middle School, stressed that boys learned differently from girls and each had a unique style.

?Our boys are tactile... They want to play games, they want to move about, they want to get involved in their learning and it?s okay because that?s how they learn.?

She said the only way to know one?s children is to be involved in their education. Mrs. Lister shared the panel with truant officer Leonard Simons, Community Beat Officer Donville Yarde and Milton Richardson, founder of ?De Boys Day Out Club?.

The three men on the panel stressed the importance of constructive character-building activities provided by organisations such as the Boys Scouts and De Boys Day Out Club, and the importance of male role models in the lives of young boys.

Mr. Yarde lamented the fact that men were in the minority in the audience.

?A female cannot tell a young boy what it?s like to be a young boy growing up,? he said. ?Instead of our men raising young boys, society is raising our young boys.?

He said women were taking on male and female roles in raising children.

?In doing that we have a lot of mama?s boys? who are incapable of performing domestic chores.

And he warned against expecting boys to live up to expectations that are set too high because they would become frustrated.

Mr. Yarde said that some adults were to blame for sending the wrong signals to the youth and creating confusion in their minds.

He suggested that the Island?s sports clubs be opened up to young people free from negative adult influences. He said the clubs were kept viable through alcohol sales, yet the consumption of alcohol helps to destroy the social fabric.

?It destroys families, yet we want to save families,? Mr. Yarde said. ?When we can catch ourselves and make ourselves right then we can start helping our young men.?

Mr. Richardson spoke of the success of his club in keeping boys constructively engaged, but acknowledged during question time that more men needed to be committed to helping develop young boys.

Many in the audience seemed to agree that God should be central to the upbringing of a child.

But responding to complaints that the education system had stopped prayer in schools Mr. Richardson warned that people might be expecting too much from the school system.

He said schools should not be expected to focus on religious instruction anymore than dentists should be expected to give legal advice.

And after reading from comments solicited from young boys, he said: ?Boys are saying all they want is one caring adult.?

The series was organised by the Community Affairs Ministry and its final session will be held tonight at Sandys Middle School. Panellists will include Alfred Maybury, Director of Child and Family Services, Anthony Steede, Commandant of the Bermuda Regiment, Mark Hall a community youth activist and Dr. Stanley Roberts.