having found its mark, and with the early flowers of courtship now blossomed into the fruits of serious commitment, the time has come to celebrate the harvest with a trip to the jeweller's.

In a process known as "getting engaged'', the ring becomes the central focus.

No matter what route is taken in booking the bride-to-be's hand in marriage (asking her father, or even asking her), it is The Rock which seals the betrothal.

After all, is there a female in Christendom who hasn't heard the song, `Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend'? Or yet the slogan, "Diamonds are forever?''.

But what exactly does buying an engagement ring mean to the giver and receiver, based on the tradition that the first is male, the other female? That depends on who you ask.

One man suggested, "It represents two things: A woman's obsession with the ultimate trophy, and the fact that men are nearly always the losers when lured within range of a jeweller's.'' "Not so,'' said another. "To me it is a public expression of my love for and commitment to the woman I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with.'' And that seems to be the consensus on the distaff side too.

Of course, engagement rings are as varied as the women who wear them, but the stone of choice is nearly always a diamond -- no doubt because of its special properties: exquisite beauty, durability, rarity, and non-depreciating value.

Diamonds, like the people who wear them, come in many shapes, sizes, colours and qualities, all of which affect their price. Indeed, in the belief that all diamonds are expensive, some men view buying an engagement ring as a financial Everest which they fear being ill-equipped to climb.

On the one hand, they don't want to appear cheap (What will her family/friends/co-workers think when she shows it off?), and on the other, they can't afford to stand by and let some smooth-talking jeweller turn months of hard-earned salary into compressed carbon.

For these, and all brides and grooms, there is good news.

According to Mr. Allan Porter of Solomon's Jeweller's, no engagement ring need be unaffordable, and no reputable jeweller should employ high-pressured sales techniques.

"You can have something beautiful at any price range. I never like any man to feel there is a gun to his head. If you see an expensive ring and you can only spend a fraction of its price, it can be modified to keep the same design,'' he assures. "Very often I suggest that couples come in and just have a look.

They can try rings on and have fun. We have all the time in the world -- that is what we are here for. Of course, it also helps if they have an idea of each other's taste.'' The jeweller also believes that, because this is a very special time in their relationship, couples should be made to feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible; thus, his store has an area devoted to engagement and wedding rings which is separate from the general sales floor.

Where a man is unsure of his fiancee's taste in jewellery but wishes to choose her ring himself, Mr. Porter says her best girlfriend "always knows'', so if he wants to bring her in in advance to look at rings with him, "no secrets are given away'' when the couple eventually come in together to view "his'' choice.

On the issue of whether the engagement ring should be jointly chosen, or left entirely to the man's or woman's preference, opinions are divided. Many women feel that, since they are the ones who will be wearing it for the rest of their lives, they must have say in the design. To do otherwise will spell disappointment.

"It took me a year to tell my husband that he had chosen the wrong precious metal for my ring. I only wear one type,'' says one.

"Like my watch, my taste in rings is highly personal. I wouldn't want him picking out either,'' says another.

"He knows absolutely nothing about jewellery, so I know his choice wouldn't be mine,'' explains a third.

Representing the other side of the coin, one young wife says she found it deeply touching that her spouse had gone to so much trouble to choose her engagement ring himself.

"He selected the design and had it made just for me. For that reason it will always be special, and I wear it proudly,'' she assures.

Males, similarly polled, also run the gamut of opinion.

One, whose fiancee had no idea a ring was imminent, consulted a friend's wife extensively before making his final selection.

"She loved it,'' he says.

For another, however, the process was straightforward: "She picked it out and told me to go in and get it.'' While most men do seem to take an active interest in choosing the engagement ring, many admitted that, left to their own devices, the process would be a good deal less protracted, and generally based on a good jeweller's advice.

They also claimed to be mystified at the apparent hysterical joy women in general attach to engagement rings.

"I just don't get it,'' one man confesses. "Women are always going around looking at each other's rings, and ooh-ing and aah-ing. It's as if it's a trophy or some kind of status symbol.'' To some it is -- the hunt has ended, the quarry nailed.

On the delicate issue of price, while some couples openly discuss budgetary limits together beforehand, or even in front of the jeweller, most men apparently feel that since the ring is a supreme expression of their love, they want to buy the best they can afford. Mr. Porter agrees.

"He purchases the ring and she wears it as a symbol of their contract,'' he says.

For that reason, the jeweller feels women should not put practicality above price when choosing a ring.

Recalling the advice an elderly visitor who overheard such a conversation in Solomon's one day, Mr. Porter says she interrupted to advise a young woman: "You have to remember, it gives your fiance pleasure to buy something beautiful for the woman he loves. If you deprive him of that pleasure, eventually he will find someone who will accept his gifts.'' Indeed, the jeweller recommends that couples follow the advice of the late, celebrated architect, Frank Lloyd Wright, who said: "After the luxuries the necessities will take care of themselves.'' Trophy or Trauma? Purchasing an engagement ring may be an important symbol of commitment between two people, but the intense interest it generates among women is often a mystery to men, who are more concerned about affordability than adulation.