It can be frustrating trying to have a conversation with some teenage girls.Ask them a question and you get in response: “Yes, no, and uh-huh” with maybe a shrug or an eye roll before they pull the headphones back over their ears or go back to texting.Diane Darrell Richie, a Bermudian who recently retired after three decades working in the school system in New Jersey, became so alarmed by conversations like this that she decided to do something about it.Ms Richie, 66, lives in Bayonne, New Jersey. Last year, she started a special girls group called ‘Girls Unite’ at the Grace Lutheran Church in Bayonne with the aim of helping them to feel empowered by improving their communication skills. She is open to the idea of helping to bring a similar programme to Bermuda.The Royal Gazette recently caught up with Ms Richie who is currently in Bermuda visiting her family.She said: “I started the Girls Unite group because I felt it was very important that young girls get the empowerment they need through communication. They often lack good verbal communication skills because of all the technology they are constantly using Facebook, Twitter. When you have a conversation with a young person often they give you two words and the conversation ends very abruptly.“It is important for them to learn lifetime skills that enable them to be a better person as they are growing up. Better communication skills will enable them to deal with the at-risk situations they might encounter. It is also necessary for jobs. Nobody is going to hire someone who doesn’t give a direct answer or says ‘ah, ah, I’m not sure...’ all through a job interview. I want them to understand that little things make a big difference in life. I wanted to teach them coping skills, and help them deal with peer pressure.”Ms Richie admits she does not share the younger generation’s obsession with technology.“When I left the Board of Education I gave away my computer,” she said. “But I have been told by my children that this Christmas I am getting one no matter what. Before I left home my son put this laptop in my house. I have to use it when I get back. I will use it.”She admitted that when she was a teenager she didn’t necessarily feel empowered, despite being raised in a family of strong women. She didn’t finish high school, married young, moved abroad and had three children two sons, George, Jr, William, and one daughter, Gerina. It was when she divorced her husband, that she decided to go back to school.“I went to Brooklyn College,” she said. “I got my General Education Diploma (GED). Then I got my associate’s degree and then I got my bachelor's degree. It was important for me to take care of my children, and I wanted them to understand the importance of getting their education. I decided to stay abroad because I wanted to educate myself and make sure my kids had their education. I have been blessed with family support. It was important to me to push my children. I told them, ‘Don’t wait until it is too late; go to school’. I worked two jobs while I went to school. I only took two courses a year, but I did it. Once you have your education, they can’t take that away from you.”She worked for 29 years at the Board of Education in the counselling field, working her way up to become a supervisor. She worked with students from elementary to high school, gave parenting workshops, and also taught anti-drug programmes to young people.“My first three or four years with the Board of Education I didn’t have my degree,” she said. “I was the health aid in a school. I was taking care of all the medical records and student boo boos [injuries]. Then I went into the counselling field. Over the last eight years with the Board of Education I was supervisor of six schools, three elementary and three middle schools. I have been very blessed.”But upon her retirement, she decided that her work with young people was not done. She wanted to do something for young girls.“To give back to the young people, this means a lot to me,” she said.“When I retired I wanted to start something for the girls. I am not saying that boys don’t need anything, they do. But I felt that as a woman I could give more to the girls, because of my background. Boys need men to look up to. With my empowerment group, I wanted to teach young women that it is okay to say ‘no’, and mean no. It is important that girls understand that when they are in a situation they always have a choice. Girls are absolutely still being raised to please. That is one of the things that disturbs me a lot. We are so well advanced in some of the other areas.”She has found over the years that many parents lack basic parenting skills, often because they are so young when they become parents. This is one of the reasons she taught parenting workshops while she worked in the school system.“Some parents don’t seem to understand that the little things make a difference,” she said. “There have to be boundaries. You have to learn how to tell your child ‘I love you, but this is a home and there are rules that you have to abide by’. It is up to us as parents to embrace our children, especially the girls, boys as well. Embrace your daughters.“Teach them and help them learn how to take care of themselves. It is cruel out there. Not just children, but often adults don’t have coping skills. So it was important to have this programme to empower.”She said she was interested in helping someone in Bermuda to set up a similar programme, or maybe offering workshops to young people at-risk.“Right now, my pastor is looking for me to branch out,” she said. “I have about 20 girls in the programme in Bayonne. Between giving them the lifetime skills I am teaching them etiquette as well. I never thought about doing it in Bermuda. Someone mentioned it to me last year. It would be a little complicated as I live in New Jersey.“There are so many things going on with young people no matter where you live kids are still trying to cut themselves; they are still hurting inside; they are still depressed and trying to commit suicide. They have so many unanswered questions. A lot of parents don’t have the know-how. When their child comes to them with a problem they say, ‘we will talk about it later’, or they won’t talk about it at all, they will just shut the conversation down.“They will not discuss sex with their children. They will not listen. When a child says they are having problems in school you need to listen. There has always been bullying, but it has gotten worse because of new technology like Facebook. Now you have adults who are bullying other people’s children.”To help her students, Ms Richie role plays different scenarios, such as a boy cutting in line, or a child taking another child’s lunch. She teaches them to speak out, and to say “I don’t like that. That hurt. Stop that”. She teaches her students that if the bully doesn’t respond, to seek adult assistance.“If the lunch lady doesn’t listen then talk to your teacher,” she said. “If the teacher doesn’t listen then tell your parents.”She has the girls in the group run the group sessions, while she facilitates.The girls often talk out some of the situations they encounter in life in small groups. They also learn public speaking.“It is not all children that are causing problems,” she said. “Unfortunately, it is all the children doing the negative things that get all the attention. There are so many other children doing wonderful things. They often don’t get noticed by the teacher, the school or even in their own home. If a parent is not careful that child could easily go the other way due to peer pressure.”