There?s no going back

February 26, 2004

Dear Sir,

In April 1982, Argentina invaded the Falkland Islands, a British dependency 8,000 miles from the UK. Britain sent troops, including Prince Andrew the Queen?s son, to defend the Falklands. If the Falklanders had chosen to become independent, they would be under Argentine rule now. However, Britain came to her rescue like a mother hen.

To those people who are crying ?Independence? for Bermuda, remember that once it is done it can never be undone. Bermuda is in a strategic geographical position, and if we are ever attacked for any reason (remember Pearl Harbour?) Britain would not be obliged to help us.

Save our neighbourhood

February 27, 2004

Dear Sir,

Please pardon the tone of this letter as I feel that the matters that are currently at hand, regarding the proposed development in the following areas Mary Victoria, Alexander Road & Greenwich Lane, should be carefully weighed. Although it may seem that the intentions of this new proposed plan will allow Bermudians the opportunity to own their homes, I feel that as an active member of this community and resident of Mary Victoria Road, there are unresolved issues that need to be addressed.

Firstly, there is the matter of violent conduct/activities occurring on a regular basis. I find it disturbing returning to Bermuda, let alone my own neighbourhood (during school holidays) to find it has deteriorated tremendously. My neighbourhood ?used? to be a safe haven for many residents, some of whom remain residents in this neighbourhood to date. Residents were offered security considering at the time many of the previous residents, were ?law abiding citizens? (police officers, lawyers, hard working citizens, etc).

In recent years, those same law abiding citizens migrated to other parishes due to the lack of concern, housing conditions and degenerates that flow in and out of this neighbourhood. On several occasions, I alone have witnessed domestic disputes, vandalism, loitering, and the list goes on and on. I have also had to call the police on behalf of members of the community whose rights and privacy were infringed upon. There is only so much that one person can and will do. However, from a logical point of view avoiding the issues, rather than tackling them head on will only perpetuate and increase these existing problems.

Consequently, it is my understanding that the problems that exist in my neighbourhood are issues that should be addressed island wide. However, how often do you hear about new developments occurring in Tucker?s Town, Fairylands that will benefit Bermudians? Rare! With that in mind, it is also my belief that providing a home for your family is definitely essential, but owning your own home is far more rewarding. I am a 22-year-old university student, who wishes to have the same opportunity as any other Bermudian that yearns to own their own home. But if the cost of living means sacrificing my sanity, safety and living space then I object and oppose such new developments.

It would be in the best interest of the government to consider the people of Bermuda?s concerns rather than playing ?a blind eye or deaf ear? to the issues that affect us all.

Should you need any additional information, or have any questions, concerns or queries, please do not hesitate to contact me upon receipt of this letter.

Driving ? Bermuda style

February 27, 2004

Dear Sir,

Sadly, this is mostly true:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Bermuda driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance you have of getting hit.

4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with personalised plates. With no insurance, the other operator has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it?s a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It?s a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Bermuda during rush hour, especially on Middle Road .

9. Just because you?re in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn?t mean that a Bermuda driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn?t think he can go faster in your lane.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Bermuda is the home of high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers? reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition in Bermuda to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milli-seconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every Bermuda driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In Bermuda ?flipping the bird? is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Minister of Transport

Don?t blame contractor

February 19, 2004

Dear Sir,

After reading your letters column, I feel compelled to write and address true Bermuda residents. For someone to make such comments but not to have the guts to pen your name to them suggest to me that you are a coward. None the less, lets deal with your concerns.

The ?Grand and Beautiful House? still stands although you can?t blame the ?Beauty? on Greedy Gilbert. I think the previous owners deserve that credit. This flora and fauna you refer to , should be specified as Mexican Pepper, Fiddlewood, Indian Laurel and Stinganells . What a shame to cut this good stuff down!

You refer to the Shelly Hall complex as a ?Concrete Jungle?. I would venture to say that the 36 hard working, middle class black and white owners of Phase II at Shelly Hall which ?Greedy Gilbert? developed would not agree with you. In fact, some that I spoke to were insulted by your comment. You do make correct statement: he does have to apply to the Department of Tourism to change the zoning just like anyone else would have to do.

In your third paragraph, you state that if this project gets to go ahead, Bermuda will be left with no quaint and beautiful guest houses which this Island was once know for! Are you blind or are your glasses fogged up by the hot air coming out of your mouth?! This is the second time you refer to Loughlans as beautiful. That place is a rundown eyesore and was sold that way. You yourself write how the Island was once known for this type of guest house; once known for.

As you read this letter, glance up to the uppermost right hand corner of this page ? Hello! It?s February 19, 2004. If the guest house was viable and successful, it would probably still be in business.

Hey ? another correct statement! ?Bermuda does not need another 82 condo....? Bermuda could use another 182 condos of ?Greedy Gilbert?s? quality. You continue on with ?Smelling wild freesias, and sand and rubble and trees cut down to clear the way for the project?. Do you live in a house? Were there any freesias growing beneath where you now sleep? I?m sure your house was built around all the trees on your plot of rock. Sounds to me that you are a member of the Fashion Environment Group; have a tea party and discuss methods to stop anyone else from owing a home if it means cutting down a Mexican Pepper or uprooting a wild Freesia. You go on to ask what will it take for people to smell the reality which you view as greedy people destroying our island, as well as how sad that we are not forward thinking. Speak for yourself. Gilbert Lopes is very forward thinking. His style of condo and town house span from Winton Hill, Green Bay to Shelly Hall Phase Two, to Chapel Road and Long Range Pass.

Well over 100 families are proud owners of quality built, well appointed Bermudian styled condos and town houses by G.L. Construction; just ask them.

With pride I sign this letter,

The fact that I am his brother does not change the facts in the proceeding letter.

The price of cold pizza

February 25, 2004

Dear Sir,

I want to congratulate Airport Customs for not missing a duty opportunity last Sunday afternoon.

Due to the keen eyes of a lady customs officer she was able to generate some much needed revenue by spotting a couple of slices of leftover cold mini-pizza the two teenage girls in the line behind me were holding. As a result of her keen observation, she was able to determine that indeed the cold pizza slices were not included on the teenagers customs declaration.

No worries, for with a quick bark, she instructed the girls to add the pizza to their form so not a penny?s duty was missed. Well done!