GIRLS who couldn't tell a millionaire from a hole in the ground are the Major Irritant of the Week.

One episode of the television programme is left. Gee, do you think he picks the blonde girl? For those who don't follow this particular dating disaster, basically Evan, a construction worker who earns $19,000 a year, is set up in a French chateau and given dancing lessons.

Then a group of greedy, attractive bimbos are brought to the chateau and told he's a millionaire looking for a wife and he's going to pick one of them. And there's also a rotund butler who is always walking in on the girls as they are changing their clothes. After each episode some girls are eliminated until Evan eventually picks one of them.

If you despise this programme there's good news. There doesn't appear to be any possible way the producers could find a second group of money grubbers that haven't seen or heard about the first television programme. I don't think would work very well either. The girls would constantly be asking for background checks and bank reports.

What I like about this particular show is that it's more like an evil episode of than it is a dating programme. The girls really think this enormous dufus is rich; and he really thinks one of them might love him for his winning personality. This show is hilarious. It is about the humiliation of all parties involved.

The whole thing is an exercise in sociology. The best incident came in the beginning when producers brought out 19 dresses for 20 girls to wear to a ball. One thin, fangy girl, Heidi, ran towards the rack and began grabbing all the dresses. Zora was heartbroken when she was left gownless. Some of the size 12 girls were walking around in size 2 dresses.

Heidi was unrepentant. She cackled at the camera: "Survival of the fittest. It's not my fault Zora wasn't fast enough."

But Zora had the last laugh as she had something Heidi didn't have - a chest. On to the next round Zora went. Goodbye Heidi. In fact, Zora was still alive in the second-to-last round and fangy Heidi was long gone. No whammies. No whammies! Whoops, wrong game show. Evan should pick Zora because her name is really cool.

The question with all these programmes is: Why can't these guys find dates without the aid of the Fox television network? Why does Evan need help finding a woman? He's goofy, but he's not too bad looking. He greatly resembles the beast in particularly with all that shaggy hair.

Evan even modelled underwear at some point in his life. What's wrong with him? Basically, the answer comes in the show. This guy is basically shallower than a mud puddle in mid-summer in a drought. All Evan cares about is what the girl looks like and how much she massages his ego. Sometimes I watch other programmes like a (wince). The moment the guy starts waxing lyrical about how beautiful the girl is, the relationship is doomed. It's clich?d, but beauty fades no matter how much Botox you inject in your face.

Apparently, in the last round of there's going to be a twist, a surprise ending. I keep trying to think of potential scenarios. Scenario A: Joe picks his butler. (At least the Butler loves him for who he really is.) B: Zora and Sarah pick each other and leave Joe in the dust (possibly the most satisfying ending for the audience). Then there's C, the mostly likely scenario. Greedy Sarah probably throws the ring back in his face when she realises he "ain't got a mill in his pocket".

Really Joe came at this all wrong. He asked all the wrong questions to suss out these women. What he should have said to Sarah back when they were frolicking in the bushes was: "So, how do you feel about trailer parks?" or to Zora when she finally let him grope her in the swimming pool: "Haven't you ever wanted to marry a sweaty, muscular construction guy? How do you feel about cement dust?"

The thing that makes Evan a real dufus is the fact that he actually thinks these girls are going to forgive him for not being rich. What he can't see is that these girls are goal-oriented. They have their eyes on the piggy bank and nothing else. They mucked horse stalls for that $50 million. They put up with him stomping on their toes. They even endured his ugly sweaters. They really, really want a rich guy. Are they going to throw their dreams away to eat at Mickey D's for the rest of their lives? I don't think so.

In this second-to-last episode it's pretty obvious who Joe's going to pick. Zora walks around with her head hung down and Sarah is practically crowing. In a patronising blonde way she comforts poor Zora and pretends that Zora might still have a chance.

If I were Zora I would wait until just before Evan is going to announce his choice, then say: "Look, I know you're rich and you have $50 million and all, but I just don't like you. Maybe I'll call you some time if I get really desperate."

Then Zora should take out her long, pointy sword and slash Zs into the furniture, just to remind Evan that she was there. He could have had a woman who wears a black cape by night.

I imagine Evan in the future, sitting at some bar. He's says to the buxom blonde next to him: "Hi, I'm not a millionaire, but I used to play one on TV." And the girl who looks a lot like fangy Heidi says: "Yeah, right you did. Get lost creep."