IT is hard to believe that it is that time of the year again. It seems just yesterday that Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was organising Santa's annual foray south. They say that time flies when you're having fun but this is getting ridiculous! Anyway, you might recall that last year Rudolph had gotten the Elves a bit too merry and the present tags got mixed up. As a result, Santa banned egg nog until after the 25th. Unfortunately, his ban did not run to the wine that Rudolph has been mulling in an effort to keep the chill out. Not that there is much left of that, given his brightly glowing nose.

Once again we find Rudy organising Santa's gift distribution network and, as we have seen in the past, not much good ever comes of it. It seems that with reindeer being vegetarians (they only eat moss), he lacks a soft spot for those who indulge in piscatorial pursuits. Anyway, he has had the Elves hard at work, with him selecting his idea of the most appropriate gift for each of these well known denizens of the local angling scene.

Playmate Captain Keith Winter is really deserving of the giftie that Good Old Rudy has picked out. This is a nice long piece of rope attached to a vintage and hardly used sounding lead. It tells you, hopefully in advance, how much water is under your keel before there isn't any.

It will come as no surprise to Santa to know that he has been conned into giving a naughty little boy something. It is even less of surprise that this will be in the Somerset area where he will be giving Garry Toy a new booklet to keep notes in. According to Rudolph, he rather blotted the margins on his last one and, with a new year at hand, maybe it will be time for some resolutions. For once Capt. Alan Card will not bear the brunt of Rudolph's ire. I guess that it pays to keep a low profile on the billfish scene. Too bad the same can't be said of the DeMako crew ? as far as Rudolph is concerned, after this past season, the only thing that Santa should bring them is a long dearth of marlin blanks.

They say that it is impossible to get something for the man who already has everything, but in the case of Hugh of Panchdara fame, there can be no better thing than a computer program to help write the Guide to Cruisin' and Boozin' on Bermuda's Offshore Banks ? we'll look forward to seeing the advice of a master!

Gilbert Amaral of In Excess will be sitting by his tree hoping that, maybe just this once, Santa will be able to come up with a way for him to fish the ILTT. After all, Christmas is a time when dreams come true! Trouble is, you have to be asleep for Santa to come. Santa will be slipping some hot air into Ronnie Stervinou's stocking ? he has long since given up fishing but has certainly not finished talking about it.

It is simply not possible for Santa to get past Hamilton without calling in at Flybridge Tackle where Hilton Smith's dulcet tones will be making sure that plenty of creatures will be stirring and even the mouse won't get any sleep on Christmas Eve. Leslie Spanswick, on the other hand, will be thankful for a pair of ear defenders because all year long is just too much for anyone! Another Flybridge denizen, Mark Mitchell, is secretly hoping that his mate, Edward "Bull" Barnes has another idea since his last one saw the boat decked in festive fashion with dried up squid. The wise money is on Santa skipping this pair altogether, but a bit of elbow grease in the boat-cleaning department might come in handy. Peter Mitchell would certainly appreciate it if they did!

Meanwhile, Bobby Rego and Danny Fox can wait for the stroke of midnight on their Rolex watches but they won't be getting anything untoward. Their efforts in Mexico that so promoted Bermuda angling are totally deserving of the accolades that should Santa will shower on them. Well done, boys!

Somewhere towards the bottom of the bag Kris Kringle is going to find a nice packet of business cards for Martin Dixon, along with one of those stickers that you put on the side of your vehicle. After all, Martin has been accused of being a contractor or boat builder for long enough now to be recognised as in the general maintenance business.

There are a whole bunch of operators who are going to get "skips" tonight.

Rudolph forcibly argued the point with Santa and the Elves that all the marine contractors and those in related businesses had their Christmas on September 5th ? in fact, as he is quick to point out, some are continuing to celebrate.

The insurance companies, on the other hand, will be hoping that the Jolly Old Elf will bring them their Christmas cheer in the form of premium hikes! As he zips along East Broadway, Saint Nick is just going, like so many other non-fishermen, to have to slip into Blue Waters Anglers Club to partake of what will almost certainly be a sumptuous holiday feast.

After that, Santa will be lucky to find Brooks Rans stocking. This is not surprising 'cus some mornings even Brooks doesn't know where he left them.

Even if James the Larger was assisting him in the evening's pursuits.

But this will be nothing compared to the danger that Santa will face when he ventures into deepest, darkest Saint David's after nightfall and on Christmas Eve, who knows. He will have to tip-toe past the Shakedown because piracy knows no bounds and he has to get some Christmas spirit to the likes of "Fire" Dublin and Tom Millett without being waylaid by Bounce, Gypsy and the rest of the Ballast Point Buccaneers.

When he gets to the Blue Chip, Santa is not even going to bother with the gift bag. Instead, he is going to hit the sleigh tool box and leave a pack of blue trash bags and a pair of pliers suitable for straightening out swivels that have seen better days anyway. Never fear, the supply of blue bags won't last more than a day or two there; and if the motley crew of Barnes, Barnes, Hanwell, LaLone and Lancaster are aboard, there will be precious little hope of the rest of the world's good little boys and girls seeing any sign of Santa this year. It's a good thing that Rudolph should be feeling better by then and can find the way home.

Now to let you in on a Christmas secret. There are a whole lot more on Santa's list: Jamie Pearman, Alan Bean Jr, Andrew Card, Joey Dawson, Bobby Lambe, just to name a few. The good news is that Rudolph has a short attention span and so to you and to everyone else, a very Merry Christmas and may the visions dancing in your heads be those of Tight lines!!!