"Today I was the enemy, and today the enemy won."

– Inter Milan manager Jose Mourinho after beating Chelsea in the Champions League.

***

"I'm not saying Inter is better. I'm saying today Inter was much better."

– Mourinho puts the boot in.

***

"How typical of the man to hijack the world's most famous golf tournament. How could he turn Augusta into a circus like this? Does his vanity know no limits?"

– Daily Mirror columnist Oliver Holt questions Tiger Woods' reasons for coming back to play his first tournament at Augusta National.

***

"So that's what Tiger Woods meant when he said he would be fighting the temptations: He's coming back to golf at a club that doesn't allow women."

– Toronto Star columnist Dave Perkins.

***

"All those showbiz Web sites that have plagued Woods' life for the last three months would have more chance of an audience at the White House than gaining access at Augusta."

– Derek Lawrenson, golf correspondent of Britain's Daily Mail, said Woods chose the Masters as his comeback tournament because Augusta National would be able to keep the media at bay.

***

"He is a great footballer but as a human being there is nothing to say about him."

– Bayern Munich's Argentina defender Martin Demichelis is disappointed with Michael Ballack after suffering multiple facial injuries in a collision with the Germany captain.

***

"In my mind it's not that big a blow. I wouldn't have taken David Beckham, because I think we've got three or four who would be more useful than David. He's become what I call a bit player."

– Former England captain Alan Mullery after David Beckham was injured last weekend putting him out of the World Cup.

***

"I have a good bond with him. He is a good guy. I like Cristiano, he is as straight as a dye, a good personality, a good feller."

– Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson on Ronaldo.

***

"There clearly are critics out there who have got a view that things aren't going well."

– UK Sports Minister Gerry Sutcliffe on the fall-out from Britain's Davis Cup flop in Lithuania which has reached the corridors of political power with a group of tennis-loving Members of Parliament and peers examining the state of the sport.

***

"There are some great British managers in the Championship but it needs someone to give them a chance. A big club will always go for a big name, a sexy name. You'll have to ask my wife if I'm sexy – she'll definitely say no!"

– Harry Redknapp, clearly being modest by insisting he's no Adonis.

***

"I enjoyed the occasion. Actually, what am I talking about?"

– Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill reflects on the Carling Cup final defeat by Manchester United.

***

"He got a bit homesick for Glasgow – which is a bit strange considering he's a Bulgarian."

– Martin O'Neill discusses Stiliyan Petrov's bedding-in period at Aston Villa when he arrived from Celtic in 2006.

***

"International football is no longer the pinnacle for players. The pinnacle of a career, for many of the top footballers now, is getting the big contract, the Bentley and the blonde."

– Roy Keane on Wayne Bridge's decision not to play for England.

***

"I never thought it would take so long for me to have a chance to put it on. It does smell. I have only cleaned it once or twice."

– Newcastle's Jonas Gutierrez after celebrating his first goal for the club by putting on his trademark Spiderman mask – the mask that he keeps in his pants.

***

"I anticipate a zoo."

– Jim Furyk, describing what he thinks the atmosphere will be like when Tiger Woods returns to competition.