WASHINGTON <\m> Some folks figure that the Jack Abramoff scandal unfolding in the US capital may fail to hold the interest of Americans beyond the Beltway. That would be a shame, because the story of Abramoff, a GOP lobbyist whose crimes include fraud, tax evasion and conspiring to bribe public officials, appears to contain all the drama, mystery and sheer looniness that we entertainment-hungry consumers crave. Fortunately, there is a man who could make the whole mess more intriguing to the masses: George Clooney.I think he’d do a great job as Abramoff in a film version of the lobbyist’s spectacular rise and fall. We could call it “Favor Factory,” after a phrase that Abramoff reportedly used when describing congressional spending bills.

For “Syriana,” Clooney packed on the pounds to portray a bloated, world-weary CIA operative who’s done things he shouldn’t have. Therefore it would be no stretch for him to depict Abramoff, a bloated, corrupt palm-greaser who’s done things he shouldn’t have. Can’t you just see Clooney in the fedora and trench coat Abramoff was wearing as he exited federal court after pleading guilty, looking crooked and crestfallen at the same time?

Let’s also not forget Clooney’s well-known interest in the shadowy environment where Abramoff once reigned supreme. Its artistic deficiencies aside, “K Street,” Clooney’s short-lived 2003 HBO series about lobbyists, may also have failed because Americans who don’t live in the nation’s capital <\m> most Americans, that is <\m> don’t care much about lobbyists or even know what they do.

My dictionary defines a lobbyist as “a person, acting for a special interest group, who tries to influence the introduction of or voting on legislation or the decisions of government administrators.” Seems straightforward enough.

In its most basic and innocuous form, lobbying can be as simple an act as writing your congressman. With his glad-handing, doubletalking and scheming, Abramoff took the practice to lengths found extreme even by Washington standards. So far, in fact, that other lobbyists don’t want him to be called a lobbyist anymore.

Paul A. Miller, head of the American League of Lobbyists, took pains to distinguish his group from Abramoff. His long, impassioned statement on the organisation’s Web site concedes that “there are lobbyists who stretch the lines of what is considered ethical and unethical” but reminds readers, quite reasonably, I think, that “the majority of us do not conduct ourselves or our businesses in this way.” As for Abramoff, he “happens to be a person who considered himself a lobbyist and one we have to consider as our bad apple.”

Alas for earnest lobbyists everywhere, the most interesting characters tend to be villains. Even so, this bad apple’s tangled tale of golf junkets, skyboxes and kickbacks can become kind of hard to follow. Not to worry: Clooney has shown he can make complex material easy to digest. For example, in “Good Night, and Good Luck,” his stylish tribute to legendary journalist Edward R. Murrow, he wisely leavened the heavy drama with haunting interludes featuring jazz chanteuse Dianne Reeves crooning Ella-esque tunes.

He could do the same in a dramatisation of the Abramoff saga, although jazz seems too elegant for the sordid double-dealing that would be on display. The score would have to be a little more sardonic. Maybe something of the boisterous variety, such as “Money,” the first big hit for Motown Records: “Your love give me such a thrill/ But your love don’t pay my bills/ I need money ... that’s what I want.” Or perhaps “Tainted Love”? First popularised in the Sixties by Gloria Jones, it was memorably redone by Soft Cell in the Eighties. It’s about a broken relationship that leaves the singer in a state of high anxiety: “I toss and turn, I can’t sleep at night.” Those plaintive words could be sung underneath scenes of nervous congressmen rushing to dump contributions they once gladly accepted from Abramoff or his associates.

“Once I ran to you,” the lyrics lament, “now I run from you.” Not much different, really from Ohio Congressman Bob Ney’s song <\m> er, statement following Abramoff’s plea agreement. “At the time I dealt with Jack Abramoff, I obviously did not know, and had no way of knowing, the self-serving and fraudulent nature of Abramoff’s activities,” he claimed.

Friendships wrecked, clients duped, reputations brought to ruin. I’m telling you, George, this is a potboiler that calls for the full Hollywood treatment <\m> and you’re the guy for the job. Have your people call my people. Lets talk.Jabari Asim’ email address is asimj[AT]washpost.com