“Every time I fly and am forced to remove my shoes, I’m grateful Richard Reid is not known as the Underwear Bomber.” Douglas Manuel, aerospace executive regards airport security. Reported in USA Today, 13 March, 2003.“I would like my steak cooked medium-rare and if that could come with a side of mushrooms that would be great.”“Anything else?”“Please tell the chef to make it speedy, I only have a couple of hours until I land.”Land? Yes, I wrote land and no, I didn’t make a mistake.By October this year, a conversation like this will take place on select flights by Etihad Airways. That’s because the Abu Dhabi-based airline will be providing their passengers with a private chef! OK, it won’t be in my price range ... ever, but I commend Etihad Airways for tackling one of the worst experiences on a plane: the food.By year-end the airlines expects to have EVERY flight with Diamond First Class cabins supplied with chefs trained by IKA culinary gold medallist Thomas Ulherr, catering to their clients’ whims.Ahhh to have the cash.But at least the airline is trying, right? Look, I know that the airlines have been going through a tough time with volcanoes exploding in Iceland and fuel prices going up. It’s hard to feel sorry for them, though, when despite that, last year the industry made $18 billion! Even with a predicted 78 percent decline in profits this year, the industry will make $4 billion.Maybe the decline is due to natural disasters. Maybe it’s fuel. Or maybe it’s time, like Etihad Airlines, to make customers feel welcome again? Which brings me to my Rock Fever column this week: ten things I would put on a plane (besides a private chef).My list would start with number one: a buffet. Hey, I don’t need a private chef, but why not have food on offer for me to get out of my seat and pick what I want. A buffet would eliminate the annoying food carts while ensuring that passengers get out of their seats (if not ensuring making it more likely). Deep vein thrombosis? Not if you make them walk!Number two on Air Skinner: a children’s section. Yep, keep those tots in their own little world and away from the rest of us who would like to be able to read, watch a film or sleep without being interrupted by screaming, people pacing up and down the aisle or kicks to the back of our chair. Look, I am sure I don’t get it; I don’t have kids. I’m sure it’s hard to travel with the ankle biters, but wouldn’t you be happier if there was a section you could all commiserate and maybe the kids could play together? Better, no?Stress. Yes, many people try to board a plane to escape the stress, but instead almost throw themselves out of one because of the security stress. So my Air Skinner wish number three is: onboard massage chairs. Forget those boring, hard chairs that grate the back. Why not install those lovely chairs that would knead out any problems in the back and neck?! AHHHHH.Number four: for people who board a plane for work would it really hurt airlines to install a place to charge my computer/iPod/etc ...? Look, if I’m on a plane for 12 hours, at some point I will want and need to charge a computer. I understand that this exists in first class, but would it hurt to have it in the regular people’s area too?And when I decide to watch the films on the screen you provide, well my number five is: STOP interrupting!!!! I don’t need to know that you will be bringing food through the aisles (and if you had a buffet you wouldn’t need to tell me anyway) or that there is turbulence; I can feel it. Leave my film running AND leave it running as we land.Which leads to six: keep the entertainment going as it takes about 20 minutes to land and another 20 to taxi. It will keep people entertained, calm and help prevent those frustrating pile-ups when trying to exit.Nothing says annoying better than arriving in a new place feeling grungy so my number seven request? Showers (and towels of course!!!). How amazing would it be to fly to Santiago, Chile on a ten-hour flight and arrive refreshed? I mean, really, would it kill to have five-minute showers accessible to everyone?Speaking of which, maybe you could combine the showers with my number eight request: a gym room. Seriously, how antsy do you get sitting on a plane for ten to 12 hours? There is only so much reading and watching I can do before I want to move. Rather than annoying those trying to sleep with my pacing, why not bring in the gym?Of course for the singles, and to help others blow off steam, there should be a bar. Yeah, OK I’m pushing it on nine, right? Well, why not? Sure it could be located in a soundproof room, but at least it would give us somewhere to talk to fellow travellers. Heck it could be the new scene!And finally my number ten wish for my plane experience would have to do with boarding the plane. I would really appreciate NOT feeling like a terrorist whenever I fly. I would like to be able to walk through a scanner that cannot see everything. It’s invasive and rude. Please find another way to check passengers that does not require a full-body scan.Agree with me? No? Have your own wishes for your travels? Visit my website www.robynswanderings.com to share your own airline desires!Ciao!