crushed in the ugly scramble to get on the handful of ferries to and from Dockyard for the much-hyped New Year's Eve bash starring Euro pop ock star, Bermudian Heather Nova .

As if it wasn't enough to miss one Dockyard-bound ferry because it was too full, and then jostle to get on the last one before midnight -- the 10.30 p.m.

-- only to get there more than half an hour late for the Heather Nova concert...Hester then had to spend an entire hour being squashed to death in the queue to board the first of just two ferries back to Town only to see it sail off into the night in the end with idiots screaming "jump'' to their friends, babies screaming their heads off and a bunch of drunk girls bawling because they couldn't get on the boat. By this time, the Police showed up and promptly made the situation worse, although they did erect barricades which ensured the last ferry boat home was boarded in a slightly more orderly fashion.

Last Hester knew though, barricades were invented in the first millennium so she's no idea why they weren't there in the first place.

Apparently a similar nightmare scenario erupted during Jazzfest so you might have thought Wedco would finally have gotten it right. Not a chance! When she finally got on the ferry to Dockyard, a fuming Hester asked a friendly Marine & Ports worker making double-time why, exactly, there were so few ferries to get to the Island's biggest Millennium celebration, which had also been promoted as free, and to which organisers had urged folk to "take the ferry'' numerous times in radio ads. His reply was simply, "Wedco didn't think it would be this popular.'' Yeah, right! Well, Hester would like to personally thank Wedco for completely ruining hers, as well as thousands of other people's New Year's Eve celebrations with their pitiful organisation, though she must add that the lovely Heather Nova was a first class act and she and her band put on one of the finest concert performances she has ever seen in Bermuda. Too bad Wedco couldn't get Hester there in time to see the whole thing.

Hester thinks VSB's star DJ Peter Lewis , who led the countdown on stage with Ms Nova (he missed the first ferry too), summed it all up quite well. "Given that the Transport Ministry's ferries are subsidised to the tune of $1 million a year, they should be there when they're needed not where they are when they're not.'' Apparently Lewis was miffed at going out of his way to give free publicity and get listeners psyched up for the concert only to find Wedco was unable to cope with the successful promotion.

Now you might think Hester's coming down too hard on Wedco, but they did on their own free will decide to put on such a major event for Bermuda to see in 2000. A spokeswoman afterwards blamed finances for the lack of ferries.

Hester's answer to that is don't take on something as big as a millennium celebration if you can't afford to do it right. Just A few minutes less of fireworks might have paid for one more ferry there and back.

Of course, the bigger picture here is why on earth Dockyard , St. George's and Hamilton were supercilious enough to think they should each hold their own separate millennium celebrations for a country whose population is smaller than most of the world's cities. Government certainly is also to blame for not showing leadership when it came to the once-in-a-lifetime event event. They saw fit to throw $250,000 at the three entities to help with their respective events -- St. George's alone got $55,000 towards the total $70,000 cost of its odd little celebration -- yet it failed to help ensure the events went off well. Personally, Hester thinks the money would have been far better spent if it had been put in one big pot and the three groups had collaborated on staging one big blow out party for Bermuda in a central location such as our capital city. But that would have taken, God forbid, working together! Originally, you may recall, the idea was for a huge party in Hamilton to be part of a globally televised event. But the UBP dragged its feet and when the PLP became Government they wouldn't cough up the cash. As for the country's Millennium Committee, all they've produced to date is plans for a ridiculous Millennium fountain and interactive wall in Par-la-Ville Park (Hester wonders if they will be built by the next Millennium).. .and there was supposed to be some wonderful Millennium series produced for TV by Panatel. What happened to that? Finally, turning to the East End's night of glory, were you among the many who were so embarrassed by the actual event -- and ZBM's coverage of it -- that they turned the telly off? Pinky Steede was about the only highlight of the Old Town's New Year's Eve celebrations on King's Square, which bizarrely attracted less people than it ever has before. However, this was the event that the powers that be decided to show the world via a live approximately five-minute feed to MSNBC . If you missed the comedy, hear's a rundown from Hester. Seconds before midnight, as the live feed started, Mayor Lois Perinchief wandered onto the stage with a voice in the background going "take de mike, take de mike'', to which she replied, "it's strapped on to me''.

After she made a few odd remarks, the cameras swept over the crowd who looked for the most part glum.

Just as midnight- St. George's time came and the traditional onion was lowered, there was an announcement for a missing child named Marco. Then Premier Jennifer Smith shrieked her speech over the crackle and boom of fireworks which for some silly reason went off just as she started to speak.

While she's on the subject of organisation, Hester thought she'd just mention that Bermuda has invited hundreds of well-heeled bridge players from virtually every corner of the world -- from Monaco to Taipei -- to play in the Orbis World Bridge Championships this week. Organised by the Bermuda Bridge Federation and sponsored by Tourism , the event has been on the calendar for many months. But that, as well as the ample sunshine and unseasonably warm temperatures of this week, apparently did not change the fact that it's off-season in Bermuda. And that means Tourism all but shuts down, um, until it's warmer. This is why piles of stinking seaweed and overflowing trash cans greeted our invited bridge whizzes when several decided to take a stroll on Bermuda's famed Horseshoe Beach. What pink sand?, they wondered.

On a much lighter note, being a lifelong James Bond fan, Hester was pleased to see that the best Bond, the sexy Sean Connery , finally received a knighthood from The Queen in her New Year's Honours List, having been snubbed previously because of his support of the Scottish National Party. Interestingly, Hester can reveal, a "thrilled'' Sir 007 was actually holidaying here in Bermuda when the list was announced. And it seems Bermuda is turning into the playground of choice for the creme de la creme of celebrities.

You may recall the British media was busily reporting movie star couple Michael Douglas' and Catherine Zeta-Jones' relationship was on the rocks over Christmas after she flew home solo for the holidays. The headlines prompted a quick response from their PR people that the two were "still very much together''. Indeed. Hester can reveal that as the statement was released, the two stars were headed together for Bermuda for a short break at family hotel Ariel Sands before flying to Britain for the New Year. They apparently stunned locals and tourists last week when they showed up hand in hand to board the British Airways red-eye from Bermuda to London.

Naturally they sat in first class, but upon arrival at Gatwick at the crack of dawn the lovers went and waited by the carousel to grab their bags like everyone else.

Hester heard all the fuss on the talk shows yesterday about the Gazette still referring to Home Affairs Minister Paula Cox by her maiden name...but there's a good reason for that. The newly wed MP has decided to keep her maiden name in public life, but she'll become Ms Cox Nkeuleu in private life...Nkeuleu being the name of her new hubby Germain who hails from the Cameroons. While this of course will make life easier for the media who often come across outlandish names to spell, Hester's told the difficulty some might have in pronouncing the African name is not the reason for her diplomatic decision. As an aside, Hester's told in some parts of Africa it's custom to take the woman's name in marriage. Now that's an idea for the new Millennium.

P.s. Speaking of marriage, Hester hears former Premier Sir John Swan's film director daughter Alison Swan , who's currently working between New York and Calfornia, got engaged on New Year's Eve to an American. Hester shall endeavour to find out more.

Sill Ms Cox -- in public