While Hester is cognisant that those in glass houses should never throw stones, she thinks that Government could do with some proof-readers

Ironically one arm of Government Hester feels would surely take the time to dot their i’s and cross their t’s is the Ministry of Education <$>and Development. However, on the application form for Bermuda Government Scholarships for 2002/2003, Hester notices something that reminds her of balmy afternoons at the country race horse stables in England’s green and pleasant land sipping a G&T and talking procreation. The application form instructs: “Sections 8 to 14 are to be completed by only those applicants currently studing<$>or working in Bermuda.”

Any thoughts that this was a one-off mistake were dashed when section 9 of the form adds: “If studing<$>in Bermuda kindly answer questions 10 to 15.”

While Hester acknowledges the concerns of community activists such as Rolfe Commissiong that Bermudians should participate actively in procreation to boost the number of young natives to reverse the ageing population trend, she feels this may be taking it a bit far. Hester only wonders what the qualifications may be of those “studing” — and how she can get in touch with one of the studs.To another Government Ministry, Hester was curious to see how her hard earned tax dollars were being spent according to the Ministry of Finance’s recently released information leaflet currently gracing the Island’s mailboxes entitled: “What you should know about Your 2002/2003 Budget.”

Explaining the reasons why the informative leaflet was released, Finance Minister Eugene Cox said in a statement last week: “The media did not do the budget justice...etc...”

This despite Hester’s hacks feverishly slaving on Budget day to produce a 30 page examination of nearly every aspect of Mr. Cox’s sweetheart budget”. Well, according to the three page thriller, our money is being spent on such things as a ‘new Unemployment Insurance Fund to be seeded with $1 million to fill a glaring gap in Bermuda’s social safety net’.

Not extremely flattering use of Hester’s precious English language, but not really the point. Under a section that caught Hester’s baby-blues entitled: “Examples of how your money will be spent,” Hester sees $22.8 million will be spent on new initiatives in education, training and development, housing, transport and law enforcement, but only $131.7 for health, including higher subsidies for hospital care of youths, seniors and indigent patients. I’m afraid, Mr. Cox that $131.70 will not go very far in Bermuda’s extraordinarily expensive healthcare sector.As a lady of leisure Hester is thankfully not that familiar with the daily grind of commuting. But less fortunate friends tell her the daily trek to work is even more of a chore now that commuters have to run the gauntlet of speed traps.

Why is The Commish so eager to catch otherwise law abiding citizens? It’s not another attempt to boost the Government’s coffers is it? Hester notes it is in marked contrast to the attitude taken by Public Safety minister Terry Lister to the young thugs running amok in St. George’s. Mr. Lister says a softly-softly approach is needed and police will “work to identify the problems”.

Here’s an idea. The next time the cops catch a speeding commuter why don’t they “work to identify” the commuter’s problems such as needing to get to work on time to pay the mortgage? And the next time they catch a hoodlum about to torch a car with a Molotov cocktail why don’t they immediately book them? Of course if the car burnings continue, the commuter on the roads will decline. That might please Transport Minister Dr. Ewart Brown but the Government will have to find another way to boost income.And finally ...New York Mayor and Bermuda resident Michael Bloomberg <$>added a new dimension to the term “pressing the flesh” when he appeared at an annual political roast on Sunday with Bermuda shorts as his protective armour.

The Mayor faced the barbs of reporters and critics at the Inner Circle Lampoon by poking fun at his reputation as the 24/5 Mayor (who leaves deputies in charge on the weekend) who paid dearly for political office.

Mr. Bloomberg reportedly spent more than $76 million of his personal fortune in his quest to become Mayor of the Big Apple.

Appearing at the black-tie benefit in Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt and sandals, the Mayor turned the tables on recent media attention to his out of town weekends — occasionally spent at his Tucker’s Town home.

The annual lampoon has inspired goofy appearances from a series of New York Mayors.

Rudolph Giuliani was taken with appearing in drag while his predecessor Ed Koch once sported gold lame and an Afro wig.

The appearance earned Mr. Bloomberg applause in the New York Times.

“In some ways, Mayor Michael Bloomberg came into his own early Sunday morning at the New York Hilton, when with good humour and a missing melodic line, the new mayor delivered a roast of himself and his wealth,” wrote Metro Matters pundit Joyce Purnick.

“No mayor aroused more curiosity than Mr. Bloomberg,” she added in her column. “Could he take a joke?...

“Mr. Bloomberg did not disappoint. With some help from the cast of ‘The Producers’, he used the occasion to reinforce the image that he’d begun to establish in his first 100 days: that of a man who, despite his wealth, declines to take himself with unapproachable seriousness.”

The Mayor told characters from ‘The Producers’ in one skit where he agrees to run for the post: “I’ll be like Rudy (Giuliani), only rich and nice!”