I am a born Bermudian. And I am gay. And, as I am absolutely unprepared to accept second class status, I am for all intents and purposes a political exile of my home country.

My sexuality is celebrated and affirmed on a daily basis in America (and largely in Europe) -- professionally, personally, socially, emotionally and physically. However, despite that my family background and social status indicate otherwise, I would find myself marginalised were I to return to Bermuda, as a direct result of something over which I have no control: I was born as gay as Ms Pamplin-Gordon and Rev. Santucci were born black.

Notwithstanding the passage of my father's bill decriminalising homosexual acts between consenting adults in private, life is still fairly intolerable for gay Bermudians in the only home they have ever known -- many of these people have nowhere else to go.

Generally speaking, to be gay in Bermuda means having to lead a shadow life of secret parties and clandestine meetings, shameful hypocrisy and provincial awkwardness. In order to fully enjoy professional and personal equality (at the very least, sexual orientation should not be a source of ridicule or disparagement around the office water cooler; or, worse still, a reason for lack of professional advancement or expulsion from housing), most gay Bermudians (without exception in the ranks of the politically and/or financially successful) are required to live their lives largely in the closet.

Even if I wanted to -- which I certainly do not -- this avenue is not open to me: the law that purports to set me free bears my family name.

While morality cannot be legislated, the next logical step to empower all Bermudians (at least insofar as equal protection of housing and employment rights is concerned) is to make discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation an offence under the Human Rights Act.

However, this important advance towards equality is unlikely in a climate where people openly campaign to remove the only (and short-lived) assurance that their neighbours -- brothers, nephews, uncles -- will not be imprisoned for having sex with a consenting adult in the privacy of their own homes.

To make matters worse, while homosexuals have no standing before the Human Rights Commission (insofar as they are not a recognised class in this regard), the recently appointed head of this body is an avowed homophobe.

What do the bigots and hatemongers propose that gay Bermudians do? Do they really want to rescind our Bermudian status? Because, while I am as Bermudian as Ms Pamplin-Gordon and Rev. Santucci (and anyone else living in Bermuda, black or white, male or female, gay or straight), that is effectively what they are seeking to do. Whereas I have no interest in the nature of their sex lives, I can only imagine their (justified) indignation and outrage if they were told that they would no longer be permitted to have sex, that they could lose their jobs, or that they could be refused housing on the basis of the colour of their skin.

As preposterous as that sounds, this is exactly what is being proposed for many Bermudians, like myself.

What are my persecutors afraid of? What is so abhorrent to them about my attaining fulfillment in every area of my life? How does this threaten them? (Ms Pamplin-Gordon, for the avoidance of any confusion, the current law is permissive, NOT mandatory: that people are permitted to do something does not mean that you have to participate.) I understand that the Bible is often referred to in support of this variety of "moral'' indignation. Is this the same book that speaks of love, valour and compassion, redemption, forgiveness of sin, tolerance and charity; and the same book that was used by slave owners to justify slavery and Afrikaners to support apartheid? It is all well and good for a church to police the activities of its membership since it is a private group, composed of people who willingly submit themselves to such restrictions. It is another thing altogether to try to manipulate the behaviour of society at large. God's laws are interpreted by the clergy (with various and widely divergent results). The laws of the country are best left to legislation by Parliament and interpretation by the courts. They are and should continue to be two entirely different things.

While I have come to expect ignorance on the part of political and religious bigots, it is appalling to me that the rest of the community has not reacted swiftly to condemn such shameful prejudice and discrimination. Everyone who knows a homosexual -- a son, a daughter, a brother, a sister, a friend -- who knows that person to be a good citizen and a positive contribution to their daily life, and who shares my initial outrage but who subsequently returns to their daily plod without raising their voice in denunciation is endorsing this contemptible prevarication.

Regarding the silent majority of closeted, gay Bermudians -- the politicians (cabinet ministers and senators), the religious leaders, the business people, the lawyers and the officers in the Bermuda Regiment -- whose reprehensible silence perpetuates the lies that are being espoused: when will it be time for you to finally stand up and be counted? It is easy to preach hatred in the face of ignorance. If each and every one of you came out and showed by example that there are good gay people everywhere, the people who love you -- the ones who voted for you, who trust you and who rely on you -- will not abandon you.

Each and every time you deny the essential truth about yourself, you are in turn promoting the venal dullards who seek your very destruction.

Michael J. Stubbs New York, New York, USA Think outside `The Box' April 2, 1999 Dear Sir, I recently wrote a positive letter re: what Bermuda has to offer etc. I have had so many people stop me on the street to say how nice it is to see something positive and uplifting. Now I want to build on that ... but in order to do that ... after much reflection I think it is vital that our new Government think outside of "The Box''. Bermuda needs a level playing field for tourism. Right now it is completely out of whack. Why do I say this? Well hotel after hotel have closed ... Costs go up and up. The UBP shifted it's emphasis from Tourism to International Business. The UBP was also hamstrung because it had no mandate to govern ... and was always looking over it's shoulder trying to please everyone ... and in the end it self destructed. So I say to the PLP -- think outside of "The Box''.

1: Cruise ships are keeping Bermuda afloat during the season. They fill buses and taxi tours, fuel shore excursions, and spend a lot of money in shops. Now some shops may beg to differ, but they really do support a lot of shops (just ask the jewellery stores). In fact even the gift shop at the Lighthouse does better business from cruise ships than it does sandwiched between Southampton Princess/The Reefs and Sonesta Beach. Why do cruise ships do so well to Bermuda? Price Price Price ... plus activities and loads of extras ...

great on-board entertainment ... good shore excursions and choice of restaurants. Casinos ... Oh yes you can come to Bermuda and gamble ... on a cruise ship.

2: So let's look at hotels: During the last 15 years Bermuda's hotels have closed one by one. All the nightclubs have gone. Costs have skyrocketed.

Exempted companies put their people up in smaller more intimate properties which give, on the whole better service than big hotels. Big hotels are demoralised. Not only is management fighting to survive, but with this comes a fatalistic problem that filters down through the ranks. Plus big hotels cannot compete with cruise ships since they have no entertainment or casinos. Then of course you have to pile on airfares. We all know how ridiculous they are to Bermuda! It's no secret that Canadian Pacific only went along with The Princess Hotel deal because they wanted other properties, not the Bermuda hotels! However ... let's show them a way to want to be here ... we can ... we must! Solution: Now this is important! 1: Even playing field. Grant casino licenses to the big hotels -- Sonesta/Southampton Princess/Castle Harbour and the Old Club Med! Allow air charters in to service Club Med daily. Strike a deal with Donald Trump! The Government must do this on the following basis: Only visitors can use the casinos.

All hotels have to open a nightclub ... with top line attractions. This is all funded from Casino Operations.

The large hotels need this to survive (Plus at the same time institute a National Lottery. (1 to operators. 1 to Government 1 to payout!) 2: Critics... Oh yes the UBP ran for cover on this all the time because they were told the churches would object. Well let's get real here. The churches are all doing fine. I see more brand new churches built in Bermuda in the last ten years but not one new hotel? Now if our church-going people working in hotels lose their jobs then the collection plate will look rather skimpy! I'm sure the church mortgages would run into problems. Now the PLP have a mandate ... be bold ... make the leap of faith into Bermuda's tourism future and grant these casino licenses.

The Internet Bermuda Tourism needs to get ahead of this -- all I can say is look at the wisdom of striking a deal with bermuda.com -- enough said! The rest of the world is being innovative -- we need to be bold -- we can still hold on to our charm -- our lovely small exquisite hotels and cottage colonies -- our great restaurants. But our big hotels need Open Heart Surgery. I know the PLP want to ride the wave of changing 30 years of declining tourism. You can do it. You have a 12 seat majority -- so use it.

Oh one last thing about thinking outside the box. The Naval Annex in Southampton. Did anyone get it yet? Atlantis in the Bahamas! Now we need to attract a Disney type or Busch Gardens type of approach here -- maybe culminating with an amazing Coral Reef/Ocean & Waterworld type of adventure! We have enough condos/swimming pools and golf courses. This peninsula begs to be "Outside of the Box!'' Again I wish all of us a great 1999.

TONY BRANNON City of Hamilton Frustrated over payments April 6, 1999 Dear Sir, I am truly at my wits end as to what to do about this everlasting wait in getting my weekly child support payments through an attachment of earnings process. This payment leaves the workplace of my children's father every Wednesday when his payroll is prepared. My last payment went out on March 24, 1999 and that was for the previous week! I always find myself waiting for their money every other week or more. I can't tell you how much stress this creates, especially since my payroll goes through monthly. I am young and, yes, I've made some bad choices in my life resulting in my current situation.

I have turned myself around on my own and got a good job and enrolled in the Bermuda College Continuation Programme. My payroll is allocated by standing order to various organisations for bills incurred when I was not employed. At the end of every month, there is enough for rent, which Bermuda Housing Assistance is presently helping, and about $60 left for groceries. When my payments do not arrive on time, I am forced to seek help at the Salvation Army Family Service, who provide my children and I with a few groceries. I am not happy about this but, there is no pride when children are concerned.

On top of this, I have my children's nursery, afterschool programme and pick-up service calling and telling me that my children are going to lose their space if their payments are not kept up to date. At the end of some days I just feel like quitting. We are encouraged to bring the fathers before the court if they are negligent in keeping up their payments but look what we have to go through. My children's father works and he doesn't have to be looked for to get the payments nor does he have to bring them in himself. His job does it and sends those payments out on time.

If the clerks in that department or Tracey Kelley feels that they are taking a lot of stick well maybe their department and the way it operates needs to be accessed. Perhaps get more staff, because that seems to be the problem every time I call. The clerks' reply is that of, "it's just me here.'' Or "We're short staffed today.'' The rest of the time I just get left on hold. So for those single parents experiencing the same problem, please get in touch with God through prayer because that seems to be the only thing that gets me through each day.

A FRUSTRATED SINGLE PARENT Devonshire Stop the littering March 31, 1999 Dear Sir, I just contacted the KBB to discuss my concerns of the litter accumulation in the Warwick Bowling Alley area. As a 24-year-old who has been away at school for six years I am disgusted to see the amount of trash in "beautiful Bermuda''; in the marshlands, lining the roads, in hibiscus and oleander bushes, in the ocean.

Everyday I pass through the Warwick area and see the same guys sitting on the same wall, with beer bottles in their hands, and trash surrounding them. They sit in the trash! The hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of beer bottles and paper bags that line the wall, are obviously left by the individuals I speak of.

Those of us who care obviously appreciate KBB's efforts to keep this Island trash free but something needs to be done about the source -- the litterers.

Why should children and volunteers take time and time again to clean up trash left by the same individuals? It is everyone's problem, including the Police. I recently discussed the problem with a representative from the Police Department and was shocked and appalled to hear them say that the litter problem was not theirs, but the Engineering Department's. Please let us clean up this mess.

CONCERNED Southampton Conflict of interest April 5, 1999 Dear Sir, Before the last General Election, I was wondering what Derrick Burgess might do should he be elected under a new PLP Government. I assumed that he would do the gentlemanly thing and resign as head of the BIU.

Instead, Mr. Burgess is now a Member of Parliament and the head of the Bermuda Industrial Union. What is amazing, is that there has been no public outcry over this blatant conflict of interest. It is even more surprising that the UBP have not jumped on this issue (could it be that there were greater conflicts when the UBP was in power?) If I were a BIU member, I would seriously begin to question just who this man represents when he sits at the bargaining table -- the Government's or the BIU's? Oh, and by the way -- isn't Mr. Burgess also a member of the Immigration Board? Who does he really represent when there is a labour dispute involving a foreign worker? JUST CURIOUS Sandys Parish