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Bester's 'Busybody Bermuda'

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Fresh off the boat: Tomi Ungerer's view of honeymooners disembarking at Bermuda.

'And now the last of the statistics: Bermuda has 250,000 visitors a year, one third honeymooners and three out of five on vacation. A survey reveals they like the friendliness, quiet, scenery and cleanliness. The average stay is one week. Three out of five have never been to Bermuda before. Four out of five are from the States. Ninety-eight percent would recommend Bermuda for a vacation.' – Alfred Bester, 1967

A little while ago a friend up Southampton way gave me a copy of a vacation magazine of the late 1960s, appropriately called "Holiday". It was the issue for November, 1967 and contained articles on "The Sun Valley Set" and "An Interlude in Budapest", with "Beautiful, Busybody Bermuda" sandwiched between "The Boutiques of Paris and Rome" and "The Finest Food in France". Regarding the last, as you know, we can light a few candles to illuminate delicacies such as the Bermuda Onion, codfish and potatoes and paw-paw Montespan, though a persistent disease makes the papaya a scarce commodity these days.

For gossip and the grapevine, of course, we could then (and can now) hold our own with the savants of Paris, Budapest or California. The "grapevine telegraph" expression arose after the invention of Samuel Morse's electrical devise, and was meant to refer in part to poor people who could not afford his mechanical telegraph. But as one source tapped out: "It's salutary that, whilst the telegraph is long gone, the person-to-person communication that preceded it is still going strong."

Many in Bermuda can appreciate that statement, for even in the Internet Age it seems that news flashes by word of mouth from one end of the island at lightening, not digital, speed. Such communication is based partly upon observation of our fellow Bermudians, such as when purchasing supplies at the Hitching Post after daybreak some years ago dressed in a disheveled tuxedo: you always know what the neighbours are going to think!

That was one of the salient features observed by author Alfred Bester and illustrated by his friend, the artist Tomi Ungerer in their 1967 article, about the inhabitants of "small town" Bermuda, encapsulated in an opening statement that: "It's beautiful, tranquil, gossipy, eccentric." Bermuda in those days was one of the best, if not the best, island destination in the western hemisphere. "Holiday", it turns out, sent two of their best to interview, report and illuminate the vacation paradise.

As Bermuda was considered something of a time-warp, it probably suited Alfred (Alfie) Bester, later editor of "Holiday", but one of "science fiction's true renaissance men", producing two resounding books in that genre, namely "The Demolished Man" in 1952, followed by "The Stars My Destination" four years later. Bester died in 1987, "leaving his estate to his bartender, the only man to whom he still felt a connection".

Tomi Ungerer, on the other hand, was a different kettle of codfish, completely grounded in the here and now, especially of a sexual nature. Of French birth, Ungerer moved to the United States in 1956 and established himself as an artist for newspapers and magazines, as well as writing and illustrating many children's books, and a goodly number of erotic tomes for the post-teen set.

One wonders what Ungerer really made of Bermuda, given his view that "if people were brave enough to live out their erotic fantasies, pornography would disappear altogether", at a time when bobbies gave out tickets for short shorts, no shirts, and curlers in your hair. One wonders if he followed Bester's advice: "Try to get acquainted with the Bermudians; they're all characters: Beryl Boorman, custodian of the Hamilton Library museum", one notable (perhaps eponymous) example among other worthies.

The article notes that Bermuda "cheerfully admits that tourism is its only industry, is grateful for its visitor and knocks itself out to attract them". Of the passive attractions, "Saint George is one of the most charming towns in the Western Hemisphere". The Agricultural Fair and Flower Pageant were great fun, but "unless you're a city boy like me you won't be able to understand the novelty and enchantment of watching a dreamy sow feeding her piglets, or listening to 329 chickens in deep meditation".

The "Holiday" article allows me to correct an earlier error wherein a photo indicated a Mr. Gerald Bean (later referrer to by a reader as Gerald Smith) pointing to shark oil in a beaker. Bester names "the supreme authority on the Bermuda Shark Oil Barometer" as Gerald Smith, a gas attendant on the docks near the Royal Bermuda Yacht Club, corroborating that reader's correction.

Bester must have felt at home in that nether world of science fiction, or perhaps fiction science, though as a writer in the former genre, he claimed not easily to understand Mr. Smith's teachings from a pamphlet he gave out to Bester and tourists for the hurricane season. Mr. Smith could have used an editorial hand, but Bermudians would have known exactly what he meant.

"Men watch out for storms by watching certain things that happen before the storm came and taking notes of certain things that work before the storm came. These where the signs, the stirring up of the sharks oil the greatess Barometer in the world the strong smell of the cedar trees the roaring sounds of the south Breakes and the dark grey skies and the silk spider building his webb in the cliffs. PS always remember sharks oil never fail yet some people believe it some don't but don't fool yourself its always correct if oil is good it's the greatess Barometer in the World, the shark knows where the weather is where men don't."

We are still great busybodies; it's a pity we have not been as busy about our body of tourism as we should be. After all is said and many are gone, tourism will remain the foundation of our lives, or we will likely have no lives here at all.

The author wishes to thank Mrs. Nora Kast for the copy of the 1967 issue of "Holiday".

Edward Cecil Harris, MBE, JP, PHD, FSA is Executive Director of the National Museum of Bermuda, incorporating the Bermuda Maritime Museum. Comments may be made to drharris@logic.bm or 704-5480.

New Bermuda coat-of-arms, proposed by Bester.
Cut-offs: Ungerer's concept of creating some Bermuda shorts.
Mr. Gerald Smith of Shark Oil Barometer fame.
The Chef sheds tears while working Bermuda onions.