Residents need to tackle the Island’s social ills instead of questioning how we got to where we are now, Hamilton Rotarians were told yesterday.Said Family Centre executive director Martha Dismont: “We know the statistics. We have heard the school dropout rates. We have reports on substance abuse use. We hear daily of the unemployment rates, the number of those unskilled and without life skills in our community, the level of gang involvement, the current crime rate and even the type of crimes being committed. We can see the homelessness all around us.“We all know that investing in our future is always the smartest way to ensure our future. We have not done this well, and now we need to stop asking the questions and begin implementing the answers.”Ms Dismont listed several qualities a family would need to produce children who contribute positively to society.Parents needed to nurture children, instil a sense of interdependence, and teach hope, humility and courage.“These are my thoughts about the qualities that make families strong and these qualities communicate love and self-esteem to children within families,” said Ms Dismont.“I ask that we think about how prevalent these qualities are in our society today. If these qualities are not common in most, if not all of the families around us, then I believe we will pay a heavy price for that as a society, and I also believe that we are already paying that price. We must reflect individually that which we want to see holistically.”Although no family is ideal, most family problems can be prevented by making the aforementioned qualities mainstays in the home, she added.She said that her agency hopes to address a condition known as “unresolved multi-generational trauma” as part of a campaign.“Bermuda has a high percentage of families who are struggling with multi-generational stuff, emotional baggage caused by unaddressed traumatising events [such as] abuse, neglect, alcoholism and abandonment, that needs to be addressed so parents can pay clear attention to the needs of their children,” she later explained.“As a result of not focusing on the needs of children, and also by not taking care of their own needs, adults are not functioning as well as they could, nor are their children, and of course society is adversely affected. People live and work in the community. After a while it is hard to mask the dysfunction.”She said she believed the positive qualities she spoke of exist “maybe, in 45 percent of homes” here.“Poor relationships are our biggest social ill because many adults are walking around with unresolved emotional baggage,” she stated. “They are consequently stressed, frustrated in jobs, lose jobs easily, frustrated with children [and] family. We must address the emotional well-being of society through, as identified in the statement, nurturance, courage, hope, trust [and] interdependence. We need to begin to invest in the well-being of everyone, and particularly let those young people who have lost a sense of belonging know that we care and are willing to help them to get back on track.”She continued “[The Family Centre] believes that child well-being is the canary in the coal mine. It is the primary social indicator on which all other prosperity measures must be built. If we want a strong, vibrant economy, we must have strong, vibrant people, who are held accountable, but who also feel cared for by this society.“My core message is that we have serious challenges facing us and the source seems to be the lack of good relationships, the lack of positive attention to the needs of our children, and a prevailing culture of shaming and blaming instead of trust, respect and support.“To get back on track we need to consider the qualities that build relationships, supports children, and conveys to the adults who are hurting that we care about you. But we must start with building trust through nurturance.”