Re: Government's Pet solution a.k.a. Global Positioning System; there is an acronym for everything! G.P.S. God Preserve Sanity G.P.S. Go Postal Soon G.P.S. Global Preservation System In an age of zip-drives and CD-ROMS, computer viruses and glitches -- we have come to accept technology as a part of everyday life. Here, too, in Bermuda we count ourselves among the more "enlightened'' members of the human race; that was until "G.P.S.'' became part of our technological vocabulary. This Global Positioning System, has been touted as the Government's sole solution to the "Taxi Industry Problem'' (T.I.P.). It will, in one fell swoop, fix poor visitor arrivals, crime against drivers, lack of drivers in some areas, put more money in the pockets of owners/operators, solve homelessness, cure disease and the list goes on I have one question Mr. Editor; will G.P.S. teach Mr. Transport Minister et al, Good People Skills? CONCERNED IN A TAXI TO NOWHERE Sandys A nightmare journey January 15, 2001 Dear Sir, I would like to draw your attention to what some hapless visitors to Bermuda have to pass through to get here from Montreal.

I had booked a four-day trip from Montreal to Bermuda on December 10th, 2000, returning on December 14, 2000. I was to fly Continental Airlines flight 1295 via Newark, connecting to flight 781 to Bermuda.

On December 10th, Continental flight 1295 took off from Dorval airport at the appointed time of 9:15 a.m., however some 20 minutes into the flight, the pilot announced that the landing gear was stuck and that we were returning to Montreal. I saw some very frightened faces and there was complete silence in the plane. As we were nearing the airport we circled over the icy waters of Lac St. Louis and the water was coming closer and closer. I did some very heavy-duty praying. Thank God, we landed all right, but I have to admit to having been quite shook up on returning to Dorval terminal. The flight which was nearly full, was not cancelled and everybody had to be re-booked. There was a very long line-up that took forever to get to the agents. When the agents finally got to me, they had a problem. The only connecting flight to Bermuda which I could have made, was an American Airlines flight 444 at 6.55 p.m. out of JFK and it was full. The agents thought perhaps it would clear. I waited, but it did not. So finally I was told that I was now re-booked the next morning at 6.00 a.m. on American Airlines flight 5012 to JFK (that meant being at the airport for 4.30 a.m. -- getting up at 2.00 a.m.) and was told to go back home. I now had to go through Customs and Immigration, even though I never left the country.

The next morning, (it was now December 11th), I heard my flight called and headed down the stairs to board the plane. As I was flying to warm Bermuda, I was wearing normal shoes (not snow boots) and a trench coat. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, there was a gangway of white plastic and when I reached the end of it, I was standing in the snow on the airfield. I looked around and there were two big American Airlines planes, both completely dark and no stairs leading up. I thought to myself "I must have taken the wrong exit''. Then I saw behind the two large planes a tiny bug of a plane with someone waving madly from the door. "This can't be my plane'', I thought, but oh yes, it was. It is called an American Eagle (AA5012).

I had had no idea American Airlines flies such tiny propeller planes. I slid and sliddered through the snow across the airfield. After boarding and waiting belted in, I noticed that only the propeller on the right side was turning.

Somewhat nervous from the experience of the previous day, I beckoned the steward and pointed out to him that only one propeller appeared to whirl. He assured me that that was normal. However, his assurances did nothing to calm my fears, as I distinctly remembered from years ago flying propeller flights, that the propellers always turned on both sides. A little while later the pilot announced that the computer would have to be reset and that this would take half an hour.

It took, of course, longer and in the meantime it had started to snow. When the computer finally was reset, the pilot announced that we would now have to go for de-icing. We taxied across the whole airfield and were duly de-iced, which also took longer than the half hour promised us. Finally we took off.

The time for my connecting flight out of JFK to Bermuda was now quite tight and so were my nerves. When we got near JFK, the pilot announced that there was ground fog and that he had been told to circle. We circled for about 35 minutes, with my mind asking over and over whether we had enough fuel? Then the pilot announced that he was very sorry, but we were not going to JFK, but instead to Philadelphia. I was in a panic. It was now the second day of my four-day trip. The steward very kindly looked up in his book whether there was a flight out of Philadelphia to Bermuda. He told me yes, there was one and time-wise I could make it, if there was space. We landed in Philadelphia with plenty of time for me to make that flight.

However, because many flights had been diverted from JFK to Philadelphia we had to wait for a gate. When we finally had a gate, the pilot announced that we were customs cleared for JFK and not Philadelphia and now had to wait for an agent to come on board. While we waited for the customs agent, my flight to Bermuda departed. We had spent over four hours instead of one to one-and-a-half from Dorval to enter the Philadelphia terminal.

I was now in Philadelphia with no other flight to Bermuda out of there. The agents re-booked me on the last and only flight to Bermuda that day, American Airlines flight 1444, leaving from JFK at 6.55 p.m. As there were no flights into JFK, they said they would bus me from Philadelphia to JFK. This they did.

A minibus and too many people and luggage for it. There was no space for the carry-ons in the back of the bus, so we had to sit squeezed together with our legs on top of the carry-ons. There was one person too many on my bench and I was squashed against the window. Next to me an Asian gentleman had to keep his arms in front of him because there was no space for him to sit properly. The lucky man fell asleep, sweetly snoring on my shoulder the entire way to JFK. I was getting cramps in my legs from them being perched on my unfortunately rather large carry on, my knees almost level with my chest. This bus ride took as long as the entire flying time to Bermuda from Montreal should have been, and I assure you it was not very comfortable.

We boarded AA flight 1444 at the appointed time. We sat belted in and waited.

After about half an hour the pilot announced that there was a mechanical problem which would have to be fixed before we could leave. I thought to myself "no, it's not possible, this is a nightmare, this is the third plane and again something is wrong''. After about another 45 minutes the pilot announced that the problem was with the right engine. After another 45 minutes the pilot announced that a part would have to be replaced. At 10.15 p.m.

(three-and-a-half hours after our supposed departure time) the pilot announced that we must de-plane and get on another plane. As we were about to board the new plane, it was announced that if we did not board and stash our carry-ons in record time, the pilot would lose his departure slot and we would have to wait for another hour or two. The plane was a 757, full to the last seat. I never saw 200 people get settled with such speed. At 11.30 p.m. we finally took off, arriving in Bermuda after 2.30 a.m. on DECEMBER 12.

The icing on the cake was when I went to retrieve my suitcase in Bermuda, it was completely ripped open on the side, with my clothes bulging out of it. (It had been in perfect condition when put on the belt at JFK). American Airlines very generously informed me that if it was not the handle, zipper or rollers, they would repair it, provided I left it with them.

I arrived at my hotel just before 4.00 a.m. on December 12, instead of early afternoon on December 10. As I had to leave my suitcase with AA, I now had no suitcase to fly home with. Mr. J. Cyril Cooper, of the Rosemont Apartment Hotel where I was staying, went way beyond the call of duty, and on hearing my tale of woe, made me a present of a spare suitcase he had.

I have been coming to Bermuda since the early 1960s and I love Bermuda, and I can assure you, not even this voyage from hell is going to stop me from returning.

I am attaching photocopies of all the pertinent documents, so that you can clearly see, I did not make this horror story up.

P.S. I have also written to the airlines involved.

EVA KLEINERT Montreal A heaven on earth February 3, 2001 Dear Sir, Having recently returned from a brief holiday on your beautiful Island, I felt I had to write to you to express my delight and appreciation of the friendly and warm hospitality received by my husband and myself.

In particular, a very big thank you to a lady passenger (regrettably we did not get her name), who offered to give us two bus tickets as we did not have any small currency. The bus driver was unable to offer us any change and this remarkable lady offered to sell us a couple of her tickets, however when it was established she had no change she suggested we keep the tickets anyway.

Obviously, we could not allow this lady to give up her tickets for nothing, nevertheless such kindness from one Bermudian to two strangers was very heart warming.

This was indicative of the welcoming approach we received all over the Island and we are continuously expressing our praise to all our friends and work colleagues, albeit we are probably boring them to pieces! Could I also express my gratitude to a lovely couple, Donnie & Yvonne Moniz of Sentinel Hill, Southampton, who not only gave up their precious time to show us around the Island, but also invited us to their `open day' to meet their friends and family.

Mark Twain knew what he was talking about when he suggested he would rather stay in Bermuda than go to Heaven. Long may you be happy with your piece of Heaven on Earth. Thank you, people of Bermuda, you made us believe there is hope for us all yet.

P.S. We are already preparing for our return in 2002! ROBERT AND LYNN FRY Cheltenham, England