Premier distance runner Kavin Smith has hit back at critics who say he lacks commitment towards representing Bermuda and the injury which forced his withdrawal from the cross country team was faked.

Smith pulled out of the five-member team that went on to capture the bronze medal at the CAC Cross Country Championships in Grenada last Saturday, citing an Achilles tendon injury. But he has been privately criticised regarding the decision by some in running circles.

However, during an extensive interview this week, Smith noted his desire to compete at the international level, the difficulties associated with being Bermuda-based, current goals, as well as problems he has had in the past with Bermuda Track and Field Association (BTFA).

"First of all my Achilles injury is not an excuse,'' insisted Smith. "The Achilles, in this particular instance, is something that developed from running, that's it, I was injured.

"Is it worth it for me to risk my body for this one venture (to Grenada) and to miss out on other ventures? "I've been running for 20 years and I think I should have some kind of knowledge at this point -- and I know I do -- and a good discretion of my body.'' Smith said he had researched books and consulted with his doctor regarding the injury and the consensus was that he should not run.

And while a minor tear or strain might heal on its own with a few weeks rest, he said he would have risked rupture and the prospect of being out of action for several months, had he decided to travel with the team.

"When you weigh up all the odds for one event, no matter how important it might be, you have to look at the big picture and that pretty much speaks for itself,'' added Smith.

This year marked the third year the talented runner had declined offers to be a part of the cross-country squad, having also elected not to go to Mexico last year because of personal reasons while he was also absent in 1995 when Bermuda hosted the event.

However, Smith said he gave national coach Gerry Swan a week and a half advance notice of his injury, told him he had not trained since winning the Butterfield and Vallis 5K, and left it to him to inform the BTFA.

Problems later arose when an airline ticket was purchased for Smith, forcing a last minute bargaining session with the airline to have the ticket changed to allow alternate Cal Steede to travel instead.

But is there a trend developing here? "My motivation for last year, to be quite honest . .. my spirits were low at that time,'' said Smith, who highlighted the fact that he had been forced to dig into his own pockets to go to England for training where his times dropped considerably, while promises made by the BTFA to have him join a training camp in Mexico flopped.

"I was trying hard all year, things just didn't transpire and I became frustrated.'' "The year before that I can't remember what happened. It just seems to be the CAC Cross Country Championships is one meet where something seems to always go wrong.

"But I can also remember when it was only me going to CAC Games, by myself and I had to go to the BTFA and say `Look, I want to go and run some cross country'. I've always been a lover of cross country and I was sent on my own.'' Long regarded as a loner, Smith has come under scrutiny for his dislike of track running and his decision to train outside the national programme.

While the likes of other top athletes such as Jay Donawa, Mike Watson and Brian Wellman remain students of Swan, Smith marches to his own drummer, working with swim coach Duncan Newby as his coach/advisor.

But this, Smith added, was not indicative of any rift with Swan or the national programme, although he admitted to past "differences'' with the governing body.

"My commitment to represent Bermuda has always been there. People might question my methods of preparing for races and, if so, I think that's personal and can only be personal, because there are a hundred thousand methods of preparing for a race.

"The Europeans have a method, the Americans have a method, the Australians have a method. The basics of all things, of all methods have the same structure, but as far as how you put together things and what works for one individual and not another varies. What works for Joe is not going to work for Bob and vice versa.'' Money has also long been a problem for Smith, his inability to obtain financing to compete in overseas competitions on a regular basis.

A fund devised to enable him to take part in meets in an attempt to qualify for last year's Olympic Games fell short of expectations, while efforts at obtaining money from the Elite Athletes' Fund were likewise fruitless.

Thus, Smith has more or less wallowed in the domestic scene where almost none can challenge and push him to faster times.

"To those who say that I'm a domestic runner, I would say, hey, it's not cheap to travel and I'm not rich, where else am I supposed to run,'' said Smith, who works as a dispatch clerk at Bermuda Telephone Company. "When I can travel to races I will go.

"The last two years the BTFA haven't put forward a qualifying standard for elite funding. They asked me to submit where I'm going and I did all that I was asked, giving them a four year plan right up to Commonwealth Games, past the Olympics, but nothing.'' At 30-years-old, the Bailey's Bay resident still looks forward to competing at the highest level, with the Commonwealth and Olympic Games two events on his wish list. Getting there is another matter.

"I'm at a time in running where I am prospering more, which I showed by the last race I ran.

"I have set no plans per se. I have pretty much left myself open to be involved and have made that clear to everyone. I've been up to the track with everyone training up there and Jay and made it known that I want to train with the guys, work -- with Jay in particular -- and help them out.'' This year sees the CAC Games taking place in Puerto Rico and Smith aims to be there, although which race he'll attempt is yet to be decided.

KAVIN SMITH -- looking at the "big picture''.