Bermuda mums uproot to live on UK state benefits as fathers lose out
Fathers are losing access to their children as their mothers quit Bermuda for a new life claiming benefits in the UK, according to a family lawyer.Kai Musson spoke of a “national phenomenon” of Bermudian women taking advantage of free council housing and state financial assistance available through their British passports.Mr Musson — who has personally dealt with up to ten such cases this year at Cox Hallett Wilkinson lawyers — said the fathers are often left behind against their wishes, severely restricting their contact with their children.The resulting absence of a father figure has a potentially devastating effect on the child’s upbringing, he warned.“It seems to be that, over the last five years in particular, there’s been a huge shift in Bermudian mothers, particularly between 18 and 30, who are travelling to the UK under the auspices they are seeking a better life,” the lawyer told The Royal Gazette.“It seems that they know there are state benefits in the UK they can benefit from they can’t necessarily get in Bermuda. I truly believe this is a national phenomenon.“The idea of someone having a council flat and being able to care for three children in there without anyone in Bermuda knowing they are living on those terms — it’s becoming quite the norm for single moms.”He said for many years, in the Caribbean, mothers have travelled overseas searching for a better life, but only as a short-term arrangement.“My concern is there’s so many instances now where it seems to be the case that the whole rationale for a change of residence is to benefit from state benefits,” he said.“In many instances, they don’t seem to be concerned in any way of securing employment.“They still have a lot of dependence in having money coming from other sources, either spouses in Bermuda, or boyfriends, or friends and family.“I’m sure there are some going over there legitimately, but there seems to be a lot of abuse of this benefit.“Of course this has a huge trickle-down effect for the Bermuda family. Access for fathers is significantly undermined by virtue of proximity.“In many instances, we are finding a lot of mothers travelling overseas and not making themselves available to the father of their children in Bermuda.“Bermudian family units are being stretched and strained. One has to wonder if we are taking boys, in particular, so they are growing up without fathers playing a regular role in their lives.“If you are going to have this distance, at least if you are doing it for the purpose of a better life, you can justify it. But if there’s no access, no better life, you are not working, you are basically a burden to the state over there. What’s happening to the Bermudian family in these cases?“In some cases, parents absconding with the child is tantamount to abduction.“I’m in awe of the fact this has become such a commonplace approach. It’s a change in the way the nuclear family works.”Mr Musson said he has spoken to five to ten fathers who have experienced such a scenario this year, adding: “Even outside that, in a personal capacity I have a lot of knowledge of this being a common trend.“As a 31-year-old man, it’s my peer group I see going through this, which is all the more reason why it’s close to home,” he said.“We are all aware Bermuda’s economy is being strained. Irrespective of that, employment is hard to come by in Europe too because of the economy there. Is Europe really the place to find the legitimate opportunity to get out of this struggle?“If individuals are not going over there for it to be a preferable option to find employment, what’s the real purpose behind it? If the real purpose behind it causes difficulty to Bermuda families, what are we going to do about this phenomenon?”In most cases, he said, the relationship between the parents has deteriorated before the mother leaves the Island.However he argued contact between the parents remains essential for the sake of the children.“We are seeing more fathers seeing that this situation in their view is not to the long-term of short-term benefit of their child,” he said.“It can clearly work, as in most situations living apart, but it requires both parties to play their parts to each child.”Mr Musson said Bermudian families could also suffer from any crackdown by the UK on individuals from Overseas Territories claiming benefits.“Would that mean we will have an influx of Bermudians return home and we have to find a place for them and their family in a Country that’s already struggling?” he asked.l Has this happened to you? Do you know someone who has left the Island in the same circumstances? E-mail news@royalgazette.bm
For one young father-of-two, his wife’s suggestion of fleeing Bermuda’s economic crisis and starting a new life in the UK seemed reasonable.He would keep his job on the Island at first, they agreed, ensuring a regular income while his wife sought employment, before he would join the rest of his family in Britain a few weeks later.However, things could not have worked out worse for the 29-year-old father, whose wife soon ditched him in favour of life as a single mother taking advantage of the British welfare state.The man spoke to The Royal Gazette to highlight the issue of fathers losing access to their children when mothers take them overseas to claim state benefits; we are withholding his identity at the request of his lawyer, to avoid harming his battle for custody.“The idea was she would go out there with the children and find a job,” he said.“I needed to keep my job in Bermuda to make sure we had some income, then I would join them later and we would all live a new life together in the UK.”It was last September when the couple agreed on the move. In January this year, it emerged the mother, who was still jobless, no longer wanted the father around.“I told her I was missing the children,” he said. “She told me she was happy with her new life and didn’t need me there. She wouldn’t even give me any information about their new address.“She said she wanted to set up there and it would be harder for me to get my children back now.”The father says contact with his two children, both aged younger than four, has been extremely rare since then.Last week, his daughter left him a voicemail message after seemingly getting hold of her mother’s cell phone, telling him heartbreakingly: “I miss you, Daddy.”The father believes his wife could be abusing the benefits system; he is also seeking legal guidance on his rights to accessing his children, and has made a vital breakthrough by locating her address this month.“I feel I was robbed as a father,” he said. “I used to come home from work and take care of my kids. Now I have had them ripped away from me.“I’m wondering to myself, who does this kind of thing to people? Lawyers have told me this is a trend for women in Bermuda. A lot of them feel they are not successful in life in Bermuda and want to try somewhere else. But where does that leave the father?“I know some fathers who this has happened to, and they have given up and had children with someone else. But I feel it would be foolish to start a family with someone else until I have made contact with the children I already have.”
