does occasionally find herself flicking through some of the more scurrilous Island glossies from time to time.

So when she accidently happened across a copy of The MariTimes -- the magazine of the Bermuda Maritime Museum -- she didn't pay that much attention to its contents -- apparently even regular subscribers don't.

Nevertheless, there was one particular feature that leapt out of the page. On Page 13 of the most recent edition (Vol 14. No1) was an article by Dr. Edward Cecil Harris entitled "The Road to Buckingham Palace''.

What followed was a toe-crawlingly sycophantic account of how some academic received some minor gong for some good work. And it went on for three whole pages and included plenty of top hat-doffing and showing-off-of-medal-type pics.

And the recipient of this gong? None other than the good Dr. Edward Cecil Harris, MBE, who just so happens to be...the director of the Bermuda Maritime Museum.

In keeping with the nautical theme, The Royal Gazette's shipping correspondent received a fax from those helpful chaps at Bermuda Container Line last week, informing the daily of what sea-faring vessels were due into the Island and what type of cargo they were carrying.

Now Hester doesn't want to cast aspersions on our diligent customs officers but, well...she thinks there's something they should know.

The checklist of goodies being delivered by The Oleander included 132 dry containers, 33 refrigerated containers, eight cars, one bobcat and a mafia .

While those Italian gangster types are well known for getting rid of minor problems by putting them in concrete underpants and throwing them overboard, Hester didn't realise that Bermuda was regarded as the ideal dumping ground for such inconveniences.

And still messing about with boats. Madam Premier's unquenchable taste for the bubbly is well known.

Nevertheless, the Prem ran into a spot of bother with the fizzy stuff last Sunday when she was asked to christen Team Tyco's new V0 60 yacht at the Bermuda Yacht Club.

Try as she might, El Prem just couldn't get the bottle to smash against the yacht's bow. After five attempts, team manager Michael Castania gallantly stepped in and hurled the resistant bottle boatwards.

Before anybody else could say it, the Prem was heard to quip: "I never have this problem getting them open when I'm at home.'' Good to see the Island's leader hasn't lost her sense of humour -- and on just five hours sleep a night too.

Sleep was something that MPs on both sides of the House couldn't have got much of during last Friday's mammoth tourism debate -- or at least that's what you would have thought.

But Hester understands that at least one politician managed to grab 40 winks during the session, which went on until after 2 a.m. Step forward Shadow Tourism Minister David Dodwell -- who should have been paying more attention, Hester thinks.

Government backbencher Dale Butler couldn't resist giving the Southampton West MP a not-so-delicate nudge -- by force-feeding his political rival his own tie.

Alas, it seems Tourism Minister David Allen 's upbeat rundown of the run-down industry proved too much even for Mr. Butler to take.

Drooping faster than the monthly visitor arrival statistics, the Warwick East MP decided to take a quick nap himself -- but not before slipping on a pair of sunglasses. Obviously a lesson the former school principal learned from some of his not-so-attentative pupils.