Do you feel that you are in a relationship that is harmful? Do you feel isolated? Many people who have been harmed by a partner feel afraid and embarrassed because of the abuse.

You may feel unable to talk with friends, family, or others about your abuse, yet you may need help and support.

Abusive relationships are isolating, in part because abusers often keep their victims away from the support and assistance of others.

They are aware that such isolation leaves them, the abuser, in control.

You may also feel alone because family, friends, and others do not want to become involved.

They may have their own problems or concerns, they may not know how to help you, or they may think your abuse is none of their business.

Their attitudes may have been fostered by society's general response to domestic violence and abuse. Despite increased attention in recent years, many people are unaware of how often violence in families occurs.

In the past, society has viewed family and partners abuse as a private matter, and family, friends, and even law enforcement has not wanted to become involved. This has made getting help extremely difficult for abuse victims. If you have tried to get help, you may know that it is often not as available as it should be -- and that many people do not want to acknowledge that abuse exists.

Yet the numbers of victims harmed by abuse and the facts regarding domestic violence are shocking: Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between ages 15 and 45 in Bermuda. Although either gender can abuse the other, women are most often the victims of domestic violence. Abuse causes extreme physical and emotional damage to its victims, both adults and children; and it is important to recognise that violence between adults in families also breeds violence in children.

If you have children, you need to know that children who are raised in violent homes are likely to become violent themselves and are at greater risk for criminal behaviour and substance abuse: Violent juvenile delinquents are four times more likely than are nonviolent juveniles to come from homes in which their fathers beat their mothers. A child raised in a violent household is 74 percent more likely to commit a crime against another person, 50 percent more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. Even if you are abused and feel you are in danger, you are not alone.

No matter how confused, lonely, or isolated you are, help is available for you and your children.

The Physical Abuse Centre offers Individual Counselling, Support Groups and provides a `Safe haven' for victims and their children and part of your help can begin right here.

If you would like to learn more about domestic violence, The Physical Abuse Centre now offers a library where one can come and read books in their lunch hour or free time.

Our office is located on 38 Mount Hill (The Old Woodlands School Building) and is open Monday through Friday from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. If you are interested in using this service, please call 292-4366.

Some of the books we have available are as follows: BUT, I LOVE HIM GETTING FREE - You can end abuse and take back your life GETTING OUT NEXT TIME SHE'LL BE DEAD - Battering and How to Stop It NO VISIBLE WOUNDS SHE SAID NO STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TERRIFYING LOVE THE BATTERED WOMAN'S SURVIVAL GUIDE THE BATTERER THE BATTERED WOMAN SYNDROME THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SOURCEBOOK THE EMOTIONALLY ABUSED WOMAN THE VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP VIOLENT NO MORE WHEN MEN BATTER WOMEN YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO ME! The Physical Abuse Centre is a part of The Family Resource Network, which consists of The Coalition for The Protection of Children, The Institute of Child & Family Health, P.A.R.E.N.T.S. and The Fathers' Resource Centre.

The agencies joined in 1998 to better serve Bermuda's families with a common goal and shared vision.

Submitted by, Nina Jones, PAC Counsellor