This is not a fitness post however it is an area that I struggle with sometimes — and it happens to us all at some point.

I am a sucker for saying yes to things I don’t want to engage in. I find myself thinking “no you don’t have time” but end up saying “yes” and then I become overwhelmed and afraid of disappointing someone or appearing unkind or rude when

I cannot fulfil my obligation.

In the end I feel trapped and stressed because of it. If, like me, you’re having trouble saying no ... keep reading.

Saying no, even after the fact, doesn’t mean that you are rude, selfish or unkind. Saying yes when we should say no causes burnout.

When we were young it was considered impolite or inappropriate to say no to our parents, teachers and so on.

Now that we are adults, we are more mature and capable of making our own decisions but we hold onto childhood beliefs and associate “no” with being disliked, unkind or selfish.

Recently I wanted to participate in a local event. I said “yes” and I tried to fit it in. However with my schedule of child drop-offs, personal training and evening classes there is honestly no time at all to participate in other committed activities. I had to inform the event planner that I was unable to commit however I didn’t like the feeling of cancelling. I wondered if I could rearrange everything to fit it in. I felt guilty, uncomfortable and that I disappointed her. However we have to remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and everyone does things that they regret at some point.

However we must learn from our mistakes.

We have a right to say no and shouldn’t be afraid of letting someone down at the cost of our own happiness but wouldn’t it be better to just say no in the first place?

Here are a few helpful tips for saying no:

1. Practice saying no in different scenarios, trying with a friend can also make it feel more comfortable.

2. Don’t forget that your self-worth does not depend on the amount of things you accomplish.

3. MAKE time for you, don’t “find” time. Saying no will help get that started.

4. Remember it is better to say no now than be resentful later.

5. Make the decision to say no quickly, don’t leave the other party hanging.

6. Don’t over-explain; it’s not necessary.

Practising saying no helps you stay in control of your time and your life. It doesn’t mean you are selfish or uncaring.

It means you care enough about other people to be fully engaged when you meet their request. Say no sometimes and B-Active For Life.

•Betty Doyling is a certified fitness trainer and figure competitor with more than nine years of experience. Check her out on Facebook: www.facebook.com/B.ActiveForLife