Sun, sea, sand and sexual misconduct
Bermuda is in the middle of a sexual misconduct crisis, an expert said yesterday.
And Women’s Resource Centre (WRC) executive director Patrice Frith-Hayward said young men needed to be taught the limits of acceptable behaviour.
“There is a sexual misconduct crisis going on with our young people — right here in paradise, in little Bermuda, much like the rest of the world,” Ms Frith-Hayward.
She said that action by everyone was needed to help curb sexual abuse, harassment and misconduct because “we don’t believe they get the urgent attention they deserve.”
“We must send a message to predators and potential predators letting them know our young people are protected — but of course that first means we must be protecting our young people,” she said.
“We must listen to, support and believe the vulnerable.”
She added that society as a whole “needed to stop dressing up these vile acts with fluff ... let’s call it what it is. They’re molested.”
Ms Frith-Hayward was speaking at the regular meeting of Hamilton Rotary Club, held at the Royal Amateur Dinghy Club in Paget.
She told the audience that the Women’s Resource Centre worked across every area affecting the lives of women, including helping with low self-esteem, unhealthy relationships, work-life balance and parenting concerns, as well as in sexual assault awareness and prevention.
She noted that the WRC was also planning a support group for adult survivors of incest, to be run with anti-child sex abuse charity SCARS.
But she said that the WRC also helped with food vouchers for struggling women — depending on availability as the centre relied on donors for food programmes.
Ms Frith-Hayward added that the WRC did charge fees to cover the cost of trained counsellors — but that no one was turned away.
She said that April was Sexual Assault Awareness Month and the WRC had responded with a series of initiatives to highlight the problem.
“We believe if we get more involved in some of the social issues that are spiralling out of control in this country, the less of a problem the issues might be,” she said.
She said that, contrary to popular belief, many sex assaults were carried out by someone known to the victim — not strangers: “They are sometimes sexual predators disguised as people in positions of trust.”
And she stressed that women were capable of sexual misconduct — although men are thought to be “less likely to report a problem.”
Ms Frith-Hayward said that young women were often given advice on their moral behaviour before going out and society was often more judgmental when they fell prey to predators — while young men were more likely to be warned about their driving and, if old enough, told to use protection during sex.
But she added that young men needed to be taught “respecting and relating to the girls who will eventually become their partners, wives and mothers of their children.”
Ms Frith-Hayward said that victims of sex abuse as children often carried the scars into adulthood — and sometimes perpetuated the cycle of abuse.
“Innocent children suffer vicariously at the hands of the abuser,” she said.
She said that employers should ensure they had clear rules governing sexual harassment — and that they took complaints from victims in the workplace seriously.
“We are all a part of this community and we can strengthen it by coming together and doing something. Let’s take responsibility, let’s take action and let’s do something.”