Julia Pitt

Big hair, boyfriends who look like they’re in rock bands, Saturday nights out dancing with no curfew — this is how I imagined my grown-up life as a starry-eyed ten-year-old.

At the time I was watching Desperately Seeking Susan, Madonna’s finest film role! And who says dreams never come true?

This weekend, thanks to Warwick Academy’s fundraiser that brought ‘Disco 40’ back for a night, I got to tease my hair, pencil in that fake beauty spot and wear Virgin bands again (those ‘rad’ plastic bracelets that looked like spare parts of a vacuum cleaner). My hot date dressed like Adam Ant — eyeliner and all. OK, so it wasn’t quite how I pictured: that it would take 30 years to do and I’d be worn-out and home by 11.30pm, having to pay the babysitter. But who at 10 ever imagines being 40?

On Sunday, I watched the recent Independence Day movie with my son. Basically a carbon copy of the first one, just set 20 years on. I remember going to see the original in the cinema like it was just last July!

I’ve also been dipping into old journals as of late for a writing project I’m doing, reading about life lived that I’ve forgotten. It feels like it’s been a weekend of time travel! What can be gleaned from revisiting the past?

Coaching is primarily future-focused. It’s about ‘where do we go from here?’, not dwelling on our history, invoking old wounds — that’s therapy territory. Coaches realise what’s gone before can be a great teacher.

When we can look objectively (without getting caught up in old ‘stories’), we start to see what worked well for us and what didn’t — what patterns we may have been repeating; which strategies benefited us before that could help us now; the pitfalls we can watch out for.

Perhaps there are old wounds that need healing. Is some past event keeping you stuck in a mindset or belief about yourself or the world, stopping you from living your best life? Is it time to get help with that? While we can’t go back and change the past, it’s never too late to work on forgiveness — either giving it (for our sakes as much as theirs) or asking for it. In so doing, we change ourselves going forward.

Taking stock of our old dreams is also useful.

Are we holding onto ideas or beliefs that in reality we have outgrown? Or are there previous passions we might rekindle? I don’t mean Facebooking old boyfriends/girlfriends, but looking for joyful activities and pastimes perhaps put aside in the name of ‘maturity’ or growing up. How might reintroducing those into your life be of benefit?

As Ferris Bueller said (to quote another movie unseen by a new generation): “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

This includes looking at where we’ve come from. While we can’t go back and change our past, and clinging too hard to it can be dangerous, it’s sometimes helpful to go back for a visit.

•Julia Pitt is a trained success coach and certified NLP practitioner. For details contact her on 705-7488, www.juliapittcoaching.com.