Most divorce proceedings involve a lot of work on the part of both the lawyer and the client.

Naturally, many clients want their lawyer to handle things and to involve them as little as possible. In that scenario, the client takes a passive role, and lets their lawyer run the show.

Although this may be easier, and although you may not have the time to play a more active role in your divorce, the danger in taking a back seat to your lawyer is that soon your simple $2,000 divorce has turned into a much more costly proposition.

But by being pro-active and managing your lawyer, you can save money and get better results.

The key is participation - to get the most out of your divorce, you need to participate in the process. Don't assume, for example, that your lawyer knows what is best for you. Every family case is different and every person has different priorities. Know what your priorities and goals are - and make sure that your lawyer knows too.

Your lawyer, of course, will explain your legal position with respect to the issues of divorce, financial provision - and custody and access, if you have children. Although a pre-trial settlement is preferable, you and your lawyer will need to discuss how the court is likely to treat these issues at trial.

Only then will you be in a position to properly negotiate with the other side.

Over time, this original strategy may need to change. For example, if your legal fees are escalating along with the hostility level between you and your spouse, you may want to step back and re-consider your strategy. Is it working? Are you achieving what you set out to achieve? If your lawyer suggests a new course of action that moves away from the original strategy, make sure your lawyer estimates the cost of this new course of action before you decide if it's a route you want to take. Otherwise, you may be surprised by your next bill.

The process of divorce is made easier if you and your spouse are able to agree on certain issues. Going to court drives up the cost of divorce - and you and your lawyer should both be trying to settle issues where you can.

One way to promote settlement is to have a without prejudiceround table meeting, at which you, your spouse and your lawyers are present. Such a meeting allows the parties to identify whether issues are really contentious, and which ones can be worked out. Make it clear that the meeting is being held `without prejudice' -- this allows the parties to speak freely since they are not bound, in later settlement discussions or in court, by anything said at the meeting.

Keep in mind that although your spouse's lawyer is the person who actually receives letters from your lawyer, it is your spouse who will be reading the letters and deciding how to respond. If you and your spouse are trying to resolve issues -- and you know your spouse will be irritated by the tone of your lawyer's letters -- ask your lawyer to write in a more conciliatory tone.

Lawyers also have a well-deserved reputation for writing in `legalese', which many people find incomprehensible, not to mention irritating. Don't be afraid to suggest to your lawyer that they use plain languageto communicate your position to your spouse.

Keep a positive attitude toward your lawyer's bills. Review them and query your lawyer on anything that seems unnecessary or unauthorised. Your lawyer should not be carrying out tasks without your instructions.

If your lawyer doesn't adequately deal with your concerns, ask to speak to their manager -- and if all else fails, consider making a complaint to the Bar Council, the legal profession's review body, which may be able to review your bill depending on the circumstances.

Lastly, if your lawyer is not giving you the service that you expect, tell your lawyer and give them a chance to rectify things. If things don't change for the better, remember that there are other lawyers out there and maybe it's time to move on.

*** Nita Grewal is a litigation attorney and a member of the Appleby Spurling & Kempe Family Law Team. You can write to her with your questions or comments by email at Familylaw yASK.BM. Copies of Ms Grewal's columns can be obtained on the Appleby Spurling & Kempe website at www.ask.bm.

This column should not be used as a substitute for professional legal advice.

Before proceeding with any matters discussed here, persons are advised to consult with a lawyer.