An American pastor who uses comedy to counsel, wants husbands to know there will be no required hand holding, man bashing, or written tests at an upcoming marriage-building conference.

The New Testament Church of God has organised the 'Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage' conference with Mark Gungor on August 14 and 15.

Mr. Gungor is the author of 'Laugh Your Way to A Better Marriage'. He is known across the United States for his funny, non-preachy take on marriage.

He is a pastor of Celebration Church, a multi-site church with campuses in Stevens Point and Green Bay, Wisconsin. He is also the chief executive officer of Laugh Your Way America.

"I teach people in a way that is fun and entertaining," Mr. Gungor told The Royal Gazette. "When people are laughing while they are learning they tend to remember what they have learned."

He said the conference was designed to be appealing to men as well as women.

"Men hate these things," he said. "They don't like marriage conferences, mainly because historically they tend to be horrid. This is hell for most men."

But he said in his seminars men don't have to do anything, which makes it perfect for them.

"There is no required hand holding, or emotional break outs," he promised. "It is delivered more like a stand-up comedy routine. It is fun, entertaining, and helpful."

In his work, he tries to facilitate better communication between men and women.

He has a weekly Internet radio broadcast, www.laughyourway.com/.

On one show, Mr. Gungor said men just want to be "bottom-lined", whereas women tend to be too detailed in their explanations and directions.

"I try to give people the understanding why people are the way they are," he said. "That takes away the ickiness and judgement."

Mr. Gungor and his wife Debbie have been married for 35 years. They have two children, three grandchildren, and another grandchild expected.

"Everything changes as you get older," he said. "Communication changes. Your energy level changes. Sadly, a lot of people never get to learn about the changes, because they bail on their marriages early."

And if you're frustrated with your husband because you just can't get him to move the boat engine/air conditioner/trash off the porch, Mr. Gungor said, "First, have you tried asking?".

"Millions of women think if he really loves me he'd know what I want," he said. "It is nonsense.

"So many women get frustrated because their man is not a woman.

"Number two, you need to ask more than once. Asking more than once is not nagging. Nagging is when you add attitude to the request.

"Not only do women want men to do things, they want men to want to do things. If we wanted to do it we would have done it already."

He said that a successful marriage wasn't necessarily about picking a soul mate, but about doing the right things in a relationship.

"There are all kinds of skills involved, communication, sexual skills, marriage skills, all of it," he said. "It is all about learning to live with each other happily."

He said one of the greatest rewards in life for he and his wife, has been being grandparents.

Mr. Gungor said he was a proponent of people getting married younger, rather than waiting until they were older.

"Marriage is a maturing factor," he said. "People today put such emphasis on delaying marriage, but on the back end they are cheating themselves.

"I thank God, that now that I am 50 years old my kids are out of the house."

For Mr. Gungor, 50 has turned out to be the prime of life.

"Things are paid for by now," he said. "I don't have a lot of debt. And I have energy to enjoy it."

He also said he was against divorce.

"I believe you stick these things out," he said. "Some of the happiest couples on earth were at one time having difficulties.

"But if he is endangering your life, you don't tolerate that. I'm not big on divorce, but I am a believer in separation. If he is abusing you kick the bum out. And be quick with this. Don't allow the mistreatment to go on."

Tickets to the conference are $69 for couples and $35 for singles. They are available from www.laughyourway.com or from The New Testament Church of God, Healing Centre on Union and Dundonald streets in Hamilton.

On August 15 there will also be a special dinner under the stars at Elbow Beach Hotel. Admission is $190 per couple and includes dancing under the stars, jazz music, a photo session and gift bags. Required dress is all white.

For more information telephone 535-7089.