Muzak franchisee Barry Kayes says he has been stymied in his plans to expand his Muzak music distribution franchise due to Bermuda's outdated copyright laws.

Government is currently reviewing how to update laws relating to copyrights, trademarks and patents, a preliminary step toward change which Mr. Kayes, like many others, welcomes. Mr. Kayes is the principal behind Electronic Communications Ltd., which provides a two-way radio service. He is also one of the founders of North Atlantic Telecommunications Ltd., which will provide a local telephone and data service in Hamilton.

"Bermuda's current 1956 (copyright) act was superseded by technology in the 1980s,'' Mr. Kayes said. "The 1956 act, which was rescinded in the UK but not in the Commonwealth, lacks teeth for enforcing some of the copyright issues of today.'' In particular Mr. Kayes wants retailers and other businesses that play background music either from the radio, or from CDs and cassettes, to start paying royalties. They would then see the wisdom of switching to his Muzak distribution franchise and cut him some profit.

Royalties for music are meant to be paid to The Performing Right Society Ltd., which represents music creators and publishers. The organisation has a tariff structure for Bermuda which is based on the size of a place and what type of business it's in.

"Technically, playing any ordinary CD or cassette in a public place is illegal,'' Mr. Kayes said. "But some local lawyers say Bermuda's copyright is so out of date you would not be able to make it stick.'' Actually that's not quite the case. Lawyer John Cunningham, who keeps abreast of copyright issues as part of his job and as a member of the Law Reform Committee, believes the 1956 law is quite clear on matters of music copyright.

It just that companies have not found it worth their time and money to go after royalty payments in a place as small as Bermuda.

In the US the organisations responsible for enforcing royalty payments have the ability to go into a place of business and impose penalties of up to $50,000 per play per track when copyright is being infringed -- and the courts have backed them. In Bermuda music copyright issues haven't been tested in court, according to Mr. Kayes.

His frustration in the main stems from technological advances which make it easier for him to distribute Muzak's entire 60 channels of targeted music programming to commercial and residential clients. The technological advance is the development of the portable digital satellite dish which Mr. Kayes is on the verge of introducing to the Bermuda market.

Currently he distributes a paltry four channels of Muzak programming which he gets off a feed from an aging satellite. The satellite's signal sometimes fades away during the summer. Then Mr. Kayes has to keep his customers happy by playing special Muzak cassette tapes.

When the signal is good the music feed is then channelled to about 30 customers, mainly hotels, through a deal with VSB radio. Another six customers who want specialty music not carried on the four channels are given Muzak tapes to play. As you can guess the current distribution system is a royal pain in the technological butt for Mr. Kayes to deal with. With the new technology his customers will each have their own one-metre wide satellite dish and would then be licensed to play any of the Muzak channels they desire.

Copyright laws hit low note for Kayes Muzak is a company which began 65 years ago and became infamous among the scornful for distributing bland "elevator music'', a reference to the company's mushy string adaptations of original rock 'n' roll and other styles.

Actually the company does a lot more to enhance your environment with original music while you shop, work or play, all for a good profit of course.

For your edification of what may soon be coming through your office sound system I quote a Muzak brochure lauding the development of what it calls "The Science of Business Music'', and what Mr. Kayes readily admits is "American marketing hype''.

Beginning with the premise that work efficiency dips twice daily -- at mid-morning and mid afternoon -- Muzak claims it was able to programme employees to increase transactions at "one large company'' by 25 percent and decrease errors by 21 percent.

"Environmental Music with Stimulus Progression creates a lively counterpoint to these proven dips,'' Muzak states. "From our research, we have evolved a complex and carefully orchestrated approach to the design of this revolutionary music programming...Each hour of the day is divided into 15-minute segments. Within each segment, music selections are positioned in ascending order from the least stimulating to most. These quarter hour segments are then specially sequenced to create a series of subtle psychological lifts. The highest points or most stimulating are sequenced to occur at the proven periods of lowest productivity.'' My ears already hurt.

Internet (Bermuda) Ltd. (IBL) has updated its web site (www.ibl.bm) to include a business service section for corporate customers and basic information about the Internet for novice users.

Corporate customers will now be able to check online the status of their dedicated leased-line using a password.

Think Bermuda isn't technologically advanced? When it takes three months to get a phone connection, or the electricity keeps failing you may get the idea you're in a little bit of backwardness. Don't despair. Take comfort that some of the most advanced technological whizzes make their home here. One of them is James Martin, a top computer and technology writer who just bought Agar's Island. Mr. Martin, who also has a home in Tucker's Town, is also a big investor in technology. He recently raised his stake in Aladdin Knowledge Systems Ltd. to 10.3 percent from 9.3 percent. He bought 244,639 shares for $11.14 to $12.21 each between June 6 and June 11 according to a statement filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission. That translates into a total stake of 1.02 million shares worth about $11.5 million in the Israel-based software maker.

Think management is stupid as stupid does? Now's your chance to have a laugh at "corporate speak'' -- and win a month's salary. Renton-based gamemaker Wizards of the Coast Inc. invites everyone -- even the top brass -- to tell tales by sending in 50 words or less about "the dumbest thing you've ever heard management say''.

The contest is called the Corporate Shuffle "Words of Wisdom'' and you can enter it online at www.wizards.com by midnight July 31. All who enter are eligible to win a cash prize up to an entire month's salary. The Corporate Shuffle is a Wizards game based on the antics of characters from the comic strip Dilbert. For the company's sake I hope the winning entry doesn't come from someone like General Electric Co. Chairman John Welch Jr. who earned $28.2 million in 1996. That would be a $2.3 million payout.

Another online contest is the Financial Times newspaper FT Business Web Site of the Year. FT is looking for business sites that have used their Internet sites to gain commercial advantage in a particular market and can display evidence of business transformation, innovation and measurable financial benefits. Prizes will be awarded in five sectors and for an overall winner.

The contest closes July 31. For full competition details visit "www.uunet.pipex.com /events /ft /'' on the Internet.

Tech Tattle is a weekly column which focuses on technological developments and computer industry issues. If you have any ideas for topics or a business you would like to discuss, please call Mr. ElAmin at 295-5881, ext. 248, or at home 238-3854.

Barry Kayes