Paris. I love it, particularly around this time of year. Even recovering from recent tragedies, the city sparkles: the ornate buildings beautifully lit and festively decorated, the shop windows brimming with delectables of fine design and quality. The women, well everyone knows about French women — stylish, immaculately coiffed and manicured and, despite living in the land of cheese and pastry, perfectly petite.

As I sank my teeth into another salted caramel crepe, I realised once and for all, that will never be me. My hair remains unruly despite best efforts, coordinating outfits always end up in alternating wash cycles and being almost six foot, and ensconced in an ongoing affair with butter, petite won’t ever be my descriptor.

I could lament this fact. Or, should I say, continue to lament it as I have for years, wishing it were otherwise.

But where has that got me? Certainly no more graceful, smaller or thinner! Fighting what is, is futile. Isn’t there a more productive mindset I could have about this?

In a recent talk, author and spiritual leader Michael Beckwith spoke about the trap of comparing ourselves to others. It’s one I often fall into.

I end up feeling wholly inadequate compared to some and guilty smugness and superiority over others while trying to remind myself that surely we are all equal. But in his lecture, Beckwith suggests we are none of these things: neither better than, worse than nor equal to anyone else.

“We are all individual expressions of the same life force, whatever you choose to call it,” he says.

We can’t compare an apple to an orange or grape, kumquat or kiwi, etc. All are valid and all have a place in this fruit salad that is life.

It’s a subtle distinction, but enough to facilitate a paradigm shift for me. Suddenly seeing myself as a ‘unique expression’ filled me with calming confidence.

What I bring is different, not petite … but ‘unique’. Minus comparisons, it’s only our version of our best self to live up to, not someone else’s. I find myself inspired as to what I can make of my unique expression and contribution.

I recently wrote about letting go of unhelpful, negative mindsets. To do this we need positive alternatives to replace them.

Sometimes these present themselves. Alternatively, we can always ask others who already experience success in that area what their mindset is. How do they approach it? What do they tell themselves? Where do they find their motivation? Where might their insights provide a shift?

For my 2016 goal to renew my commitment to a healthy body, I asked an athletic friend these questions.

Whereas my mindset had slipped to one of drudgery and ‘must do to slow the onslaught of fatness’, hers is one of having fun, trying new things, seeing her body as a well-oiled machine to support the things she loves to do.

Which is going to spur greater productivity?

Let’s get on it. The new year is upon us, a good a time as any to make some tweaks towards our best version of our own “individual expression”.

Small shifts often yield big differences. Find the mindsets that will set you up for success, and a happy New Year everyone!

• Julia Pitt is a trained success coach and certified NLP practitioner on the team at Benedict Associates. For further information contact Julia on 705-7488, www.juliapittcoach ing.com.