Welcome to Hell Salvador . . .
In a country that infamously fought a Football War, it is only fitting that one section of the national stadium has been dubbed ?Vietnam?.
Estadio Cuscutlan, sitting in a valley on the edge of San Salvador, the Central American nation?s capital, is a cold, unfriendly concrete bowl of a venue ? a perfect setting for passionate local fans to indulge in their unique brand of intimidation.
The stadium can hold 60,000 but Bermuda can reasonably expect 45,000 to attend ? which will be more than enough to make it an uncomfortable 90 minutes for Kenny Thompson?s men.
Noise and colour are a speciality of the El Salvadorians, and based on the events at the stadium during a bottom-of-the-table clash in the country?s top league, the locals are more than capable of putting on quite a disconcerting show of partisan support.
Around 3,500 people turned out to watch Allianza beat San Salvador in a bizarre game that exemplified how the Central Americans play ? and watch ? their football.
But despite the sparse crowd, the atmosphere still remained highly-charged with a lot of noise, a lot of running around and a unpleasant amount of police brutality.
The beating of drums is a common El Salvadorian pastime, and the six or so musicians who turned out made enough noise even in the vacuous stadium to create some distressingly nerve-wracking atmosphere.
The banning of explosives ? a necessary step after deaths on the terraces at league games ? has somewhat diluted the locals ability to recreate the scenes of football Hell that were synonymous with trips to the region in the past.
But the well-organised fans seem to have all the chants as well as a bizarre selection of dances and co-ordinating jumping manoeuvres to make the visiting teams feel uncomfortable.
The fans? obvious enthusiasm ? and this might be a reason that the failure to fill the proposed charter carrying150 Bermudians to El Salvador is not all that bad a thing ? was met by some spectacularly over the top policing.
After goal number three, the Allianza striker did what any good striker for an away team should do ? he headed for the travelling fans.
They, as you would expect, then ran down to the front of the terraces and jumped up on to the large yellow fence ? a ten foot structure that ominously surrounds the rather large pitch ? to celebrate their comprehensive away victory.
Unfortunately their hands were then subjected to a wholly disproportionate show of police brutality, as the heavily armoured ? almost centurion-like ? Police officers battered the fans on the fences with their large batons.
The fact that no-one minded would suggest that this is a common occurrence, although the bags of urine which peppered the Bermudians last time they visited the country for World Cup qualifying, apparently are no longer regularly seen at games.
And it is not just the spectators that make Cuscutlan an unfriendly place, the basic facilities are in themselves inhospitable ? as could be the climate.
The 90 degree heat of El Salvador in rainy season should not be a hindrance to the players, but the cloudbursts could prove to be.
The Alllianza-San Salvador encounter was held up for seven minutes as the menacing dark clouds that frequent the nation?s skies every afternoon at some point between 3p.m. and 7 p.m. created so such extreme and immediate darkness that the game had to be put on hold.
The delay was caused as the dilapidated lights slowly warmed-up and spluttered into action, around the same time as torrential rain soaked the stadium and immediately altered the playing surface for the game?s dying minutes.
The pitch, to be fair, is not in bad condition ? not quite to National Stadium standards but certainly a world away from the uneven offerings of Bernard Park or BAA where many of the national side ply their trade week in, week out.
In just three days, Bermuda will come up the stairs from the underground dressing rooms and run out into the cauldron of drums, incomprehensible (but no doubt threatening) chants, furious flag-waving and hostility to try and give themselves a chance in the following week?s return leg.
They won?t be able to hear each other call for the ball, Bermuda throw-ins and corners will attract spitting and verbal abuse at best, and the odd missile at worst ? it is going to be tough.
The heavily-armoured, machine-gun wielding Police will be bussed in to deal with any unruly behaviour, but how much protection they will offer the Islanders is yet to be seen.
But when it is all done and dusted at least the players can head out into San Salvador to relax ? although that?s only if their idea of relaxation is visiting restaurants and bars where burly security officers menacingly carry shotguns and patrons need to be warned ?No Arms allowed?.