If I ruled the world there would be a few things I would change. The top of my list would be to have an age limit for allowing kids in supermarkets.Food shopping is supposed to be a relaxing experience. That's why they play that soothing music in the background, so you can take your time and read the labels, push holes into the bread to see how fresh it is, smell the fruit, tap the bottom of the melon to see if it's ready to eat. But as soon as a mother walks in to the store with her kids it's like Hell's Angels just rode into town with all the town's people screaming in fear and taking cover. Cause you know this isn't going to end pretty.It's like something goes off in a kid's head when they get into a grocery store. I've seen normal kids turn into the devil's spawn as soon as they pass those sliding doors.Have you ever seen the mother pushing a trolley with half a dozen kids hanging off of it? One at the front on hanging for dear life, one in the baby seat and two or three on the sides. For God's sake woman! It looks like a bus on the way to Mumbai just add a couple of goats and you would be set.They want everything on the shelf. You've seen them. They break away from the rest of the pack, grab a box of something with this sinister smile on their face, and two minutes later they're back with pouting lips and head down putting it back or they are rolling on the floor screaming and crying. What does the mother do? She just carries right on shopping pushing the cart past the spoiled brat saying ‘I'm just ignoring you so you might as well stop'. OK lady, maybe you're ignoring him, but how the hell can we? Move him or I'm going to run right over his bratty little ass, and put him out of everyone's misery.I was in the store the other day getting my bottle of Geritol when this kid came right up to me with his finger so far up his nose that he must have been doing some sort of brain damage and said ‘You're old ... are you going to die soon'? I looked at him and said ‘Well you're ugly and stupid, now pee-off kid'. Well, didn't the brain damaged child just burst into tears and in less than two seconds flat, the mother was right there after asking the kid what's the matter, he said ‘that man said I was ugly and stupid'. The mother looked at me and said ‘What's the matter with you'?! Pulling her kid away. ‘What's the matter with me? He started it lady'!So here's something to consider, and feel free to agree with me You know in the old westerns when the cowboy rides up to the saloon and ties his horse up to that wooden post thingy? Well, all supermarkets should have the same thing just before you walk into the store you get your kid and tie him to that post thingy and leave he/she there so everyone can enjoy a relaxing day of shopping.Geez, they will even leave that water trough for them. Unless you think that's a bit too extreme?Why not have an area where you can check in the kid? Like those posh, swanky restaurants where you check in your hat and coat and you're given a number. So as you go in you'd check in the kids. They are taken out in the back and put into a wooden pen until the parents are finished shopping. When you're done, you hand in your number and your kids are returned to you safe and sound ... but perhaps a little traumatised and none the worse for wear.What gets up your nose? E-mail me at grumpyoldman@royalgazette.bm and let me know.