Last Sunday, Julia Pitt and I did a presentation for the Business and Professional Women’s Association of Bermuda.

We combined success coaching and nutrition to discuss, ‘Is having it all hurting your health?’

We weren’t really trying to answer the question of whether it’s possible to “have it all”, but rather how our pursuit of both career and family can knock us sideways if we’re not careful.

Perhaps it’s because there is no one defined way to “have it all”, no real rules or boundaries, that makes the pursuit so hard. We keep trying to live up to evolving expectations — pressures placed on us by others and ourselves.

As we prepared for the event, one thing became really clear: “You teach what you need to learn.” I don’t think either of us would claim that we have found our perfect balance yet, although we have some pretty nifty insights and tips.

The best part for me was working in tandem with someone else. I love presenting to big groups but it also scares the hell out of me. It’s so nice to have someone standing by your side — to reassure you that your words are right and that you look presentable. I live in fear of getting to the end of a seminar, only to discover a booger on my nose or lipstick on my teeth. Honestly, I think I’d curl up and die.

We’ll be doing the presentation again in some offices soon, so if we are coming to you please don’t read the rest. Off you go, have a lovely weekend and see you next week! But, if you doubt we’re coming your way, let me share this with you as it’s super-important.

I think our biggest takeaway was this: most of us have a negative inner voice that says we’re not good enough.

A critical whisper in our ear that knocks us down even when we are on a high. It comes from the relentless comparative commentary from our families, friends, co-workers and the media. It becomes ingrained in our psyche. Our amazing colleague Kerri Howland calls it the Itty Bitty S****y Committee. It’s catchy and it’s true.

As women, I think we all have too much of the itty, bitty, s****y in our lives. We have to recognise it and we have to kick it out. It’s time to talk to ourselves better, to each other better and ABOUT others better.

How many of us have sat down with some girlfriends and slowly picked someone we know apart? It doesn’t say much for our solidarity does it? And it makes us wonder what’s said in our absence.

Even worse, we often do it in front of our children. They may be playing a few feet away, but do you really think those background conversations don’t sink in?

I read an amazing article a while ago — a letter from a daughter to her mother called ‘Passing on body hatred’. Kasey Edwards begins, “I was seven when I discovered that you were fat, ugly and horrible.”

It’s not just that she had been listening to the vicious comments of others, but most importantly she had been listening to her own mother’s words: “I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m horrible.”

How confusing for a child who has only ever thought her mother captivating.

And how crushing then, when as she grows up, people say to her, “You look just like your mum.” So you see the words we say to ourselves matter — not just to us, but to our daughters too.

After thinking about it for a long, long time, we came up with something different. Wouldn’t it be great if we could replace the Itty Bitty S****y Committee, with the Gritty Witty Pretty Committee?

As women, we can be tender, but we can also be tough. There’s nothing wrong with gritting your teeth and seeing what you can achieve when you simply give something 110 per cent.

But we need a sense of humour too, we have to see the funny side. Because if you do find yourself at the end of a presentation with a booger on your nose, you might as well laugh about it.

What possible benefit would come from retreating to bed in the fetal position? As for the pretty, you know what I’m going to say. Each one of us has something beautiful about us — whether it comes from our eyes, our laughter or from the very depths of our soul, there is beauty in every one.

If you kick out the itty, bitty, s****y and replace it with the gritty, witty, pretty, imagine how much kinder the world would become.

Think about how much self-belief you’d gain from being your own best cheerleader and a generous supporter of others.

Imagine then how much easier it would be to stick to healthy eating — how much less you’d seek comfort from food.

And how much more likely you’d be to exercise a body you honour, rather than one you despise and hide.

Nutrition is important. It will literally make or break you as you weave your way through life. But it’s nothing without a healthy mindset too.

• The advice given in this article is not intended to replace medical advice, but to complement it. Always consult your GP if you have any health concerns. Catherine Burns BA Hons, Dip ION is the managing director of Natural Ltd and a fully qualified nutritional therapist trained by the Institute for Optimum Nutrition in the UK. Please note that she is not a registered dietitian. For details, please go to www.natural.bm or call 236-7511. Join Catherine on Facebook: www.facebook.com/nutrifitandnaturalnutritionbermuda