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Workshop will explore ‘multi-generational trauma’

Martha Dismont of the Family Centre

The challenges facing our community did not develop overnight.The Family Centre’s executive director Martha Dismont saw problems developing many years ago.But the good news, she believes, is the community has the tools to fix them.Lack of life skills, a good education and unhealthy relationships due to multi-generational unaddressed trauma are all major contributing factors in the breakdown of the family and, by extension, are threatening the fabric of our society.Ms Dismont saw some of the signs back in 1990 when she started the Family Centre.“We have been a laid-back society but there were always some things underneath that probably needed some attention,” said Ms Dismont. “So back in 1986, ‘89 and ‘90 when we started here you could see even on the surface that there were issues and challenges that we needed to get to work on as an organisation and as a country.“That’s when we designed and put together the Family Centre, to see how we can take care of families from a best practice perspective.”Ms Dismont insists the problems can be tackled but it will take a huge community effort.“Gun violence in Bermuda causes trauma and I wonder at times if people go and get help for the three-year-old and five-year-old,” said Ms Dismont, speaking prior to the weekend shooting at a barber shop that claimed the life of a father-of-three.“These young people who are joining gangs, their parents probably had emotional issues that were never dealt with, so how do you really emotionally engage with your child when you have such emotional baggage?”She added: “People often talk about the ‘good old days’ but the fact of the matter is the kind of problems we are seeing today are taking a whole generation to develop.”She said the Inter Agency Committee for Children and Families, of which the Family Centre is a part, had agreed on the top three major issues families face.“The third one was lack of life skills; the inability to cope with day to day, basic functioning because they haven’t refined their life skills.“The second one, which shouldn’t surprise anyone, is the lack of a good education. The challenge with our education system is a major challenge for the entire Island.“The number one issue for families coming to get help is unhealthy relationships due to multi-generational unaddressed trauma.“If a situation of abuse, neglect, divorce, substance abuse or an absent parent occurred the individuals involved were never treated properly for them.“This situation has festered over generations where people have not sought help to deal with the trauma.”The group will again address those issues at a workshop on Monday with Jeffrey Bormaster of Special Projects Child Welfare League of America.The public is invited to attend the free meeting at the Berkeley Institute from 9am to 4pm.“We had a convening meeting on May 10 when Jeff Bormaster came to Bermuda and we asked him to work with us to deal with multi-generational trauma and to help us draft a national children’s agenda,” explained Ms Dismont.“He gave us some history on what trauma looks like and we talked about what it looks like in Bermuda and that room was so fired up when they started to understand the emotional problems that people are walking around with.“He’s coming back on July 2 because we want to open it up to more people.”Ten years ago the Family Centre was working with 75 families that number has increased to more than 300.“Some people are thinking ‘is Bermuda going to make it?’. For me, absolutely. There are lots of places in this world that struggle but very few of them have the resources, the resilience and the people we have to get this done.“As a Country we have to get real about what our real needs are and figure out how to work together.“Strong families consist of three major things. Solid nurturing relationships among each other.“The second one is financial independence, the ability to earn a wage and take care of your family and the third one is good and solid community support systems like social service agencies.”