Food for Thought“Mummy …” said Chloe “ … your tummy is all wobbly.”I am not sure what was less welcome, the fact that we were having this conversation at 6.01am, or that we were having it period.“Well”, I explained (trying to summon the brain of a responsible parent through the fog), “that is because you used to live in it. AND your sister. That’s enough to make anyone’s tummy wobble, don’t you think?”She thought for a moment, glanced over at the picture of me nine months pregnant, and agreed. We then moved on to the Very Important subject of what waffle toppings were available for breakfast.Later on that morning, as I pulled on my running shoes, I had an epiphany over that moment. It would be so easy to be offended, and yet what was she comparing it to? Her own washboard of sinewy muscle? I think anything would be wobbly compared to that.But, the best part was that it wasn’t said with a single ounce of judgment — or an opinion on whether that was “good” or “bad.”To her, I am just her Mum — and my legs are long, and my eyes are green, and my tummy wobbles …. it’s simply a collection of facts. It doesn’t mean she loves me any more, or any less, it’s just part of what makes me hers. Don’t we all aspire to find someone who loves us “just as we are”? I just never expected my five-year-old to make those dreams come true.As a nutritionist, I work with a lot of people that want to lose weight. I also work with some who want to gain weight. Either way, I have tried to be as careful as possible in how I describe my job to the girls.If you ask Chloe what I do, she will probably tell you that I “help people learn about healthy food.” What I am trying to avoid is her thinking that the crucial part of being healthy is weight loss, and that weight loss is always a good thing — even in excess. I have seen eating disorders tear individuals, and families apart and I would do anything to prevent that happening to mine.The thing is, it’s so hard to get this part right. Some people argue that teaching children about the dangers of processed food — and the negative effect it can have on their health and weight — will either generate an obsessive fear of food, or push them toward rebellion.Others argue that not teaching this information to children is the same as not teaching them why they have to wear a seat belt, or not talk to strangers — amounting to neglect.Of course, there’s a middle line where we get it right, but even if WE get it right, there’s the enormous influence of the social context too.The images our children see in magazines, and on TV, are photo-shopped to death. Children torture themselves with comparisons to images that were never real in the first place.They play with dolls who are anatomically impossible. If Barbie were real there is absolutely no way she could stand! And have you ever seen anyone with eyes as large as a Disney princess?The other day I had a really interesting conversation with a friend. She’d read a blog from a girl who had always been told not to worry about her looks, because she was beautiful as she was. The thing is, she said that she knew that by society’s media-driven, conventional standards, she wasn’t pretty.And the more her parents told her she was, the more she mistrusted their opinion. The problem is that although we would like society to see the beauty in every single person, or even better, that we stop placing so much value on looks anyway, I don’t see that unravelling very fast.Every single day, completely normal people make countless decisions, from what to wear to how to act, with the end goal of looking better, or feeling more attractive. Is that really going to change?In the end, being physically beautiful is down to any combination of luck, money, style, effort, personality and perception.Thank God then that people differ in their perception of beauty, or certainly in their preferred “types” of beauty.I just hope I can help my girls deal with whatever the gene pool throws at them with good grace. Meanwhile, we’ll teach them that beauty is not just physical but comes from within.With ‘big school’ around the corner I don’t doubt that they will soon learn that nasty, or fake personalities, can sour being pretty. So too will they realise that their dear friend’s wobbly thighs, or wonky teeth, will not make them love, or respect them, any less. So again, we tread a middle line, and hope for the best.We find ourselves helping our children navigate their way through their formative years by equipping them with these wise nuggets about beauty being on the inside, while still ‘playing the game’, so to speak.The distortion of reality, the hyper-perfection that we are presented with on a daily basis, is so severe we even do it to our food.Tomatoes are shinier, oranges are brighter, bananas are perfectly curved — all because we’re conditioned to like visual perfection.Our fruit may come from thousands of miles away, via conveyor belts, trucks, ships, cranes and more trucks, and yet we balk if it has the smallest bruise.I did a double-take in the organic aisle the other day, because while so many organics taste amazing, they often look a little rough around the edges.I’ve been as guilty as anyone for picking out the better looking options. Still, maybe that’s where I’ll start my beauty-is-within campaign.By showing my daughters that despite the lumps, and bumps, organic produce is just as good, if not better. I’ll teach them that eating better, is about feeling better, and living better, first and foremost.I won’t deny that being a healthy weight, and looking “good” (however you define it) comes as part of the package. We just need that glow to come from the inside, out.Lumps, bumps and all.The advice given in this article is not intended to replace medical advice, but to complement it. Always consult your GP if you have any health concerns. Catherine Burns BA Hons, Dip ION is the Managing Director of Natural Ltd and a fully qualified Nutritional Therapist trained by the Institute for Optimum Nutrition in the UK. Please note that she is not a Registered Dietitian. For details, please go to www.natural.bm or call 236-7511. Join Catherine on Facebook: www.facebook.com/nutrifitandnaturalnutritionbermuda