My five-year-old son has a rather painful habit that makes me cringe whenever I see it. If someone (usually his cousin) is doing something special, singing or telling a story, he starts to cough loudly or talk over her or he sings his own song (deliberately off-key). And when she gets praised he’ll try to belittle her efforts or out-do her with his own heroics. It’s as if he thinks that attention and praise are limited and if she’s getting some, there’ll be less for him.My consoling explanation, that we all get our moment to shine, has as much impact as the ‘Peanuts’ teacher. So I keep telling myself this unpleasant behaviour is just a phase we all grow out of.Perhaps not. The other day I discovered that someone has created for themselves a high-profile coaching role in an arena I had been hoping to develop myself. Oooh, I was ticked off. “Darn them for pipping me to the post,” I thought. “They’ve cornered the market. My hopes are dashed! Now I’ll be left out in the cold…”This ugly thinking was leading me into a spiral of negativity, panic and fear that there’d be nothing left for me.I was locked into typical scarcity mentality; a perception of the world we can get conditioned into. It’s a competitive mindset that there is not enough (success, wealth, love etc) to go around and that for someone to win, then someone else must lose.In scarcity mode we only notice what is lacking and what we haven’t got. It’s the mentality that makes advertising so effective as they show us all we’re ‘missing’ so we go out and consume more.This kind of thinking can lead to constant comparison and competition with others. It can foster a strong drive in us to win, but irrespective of the cost to anyone else. It can also render us distrustful, fearful, insecure, jealous and terrified to fail.Such negativity can erode our emotional well-being and if prolonged perhaps develop into anger, disappointment, even depression. And it is self-perpetuating. What we focus on is what we see more of and as author and lecturer, Wayne Dyer says, “If we dwell on scarcity, we are putting energy into what we do not have, and this continues to be our experience of life.”So what is the alternative? What if, upon hearing the news of my potential colleague’s appointment I had said to myself, “Fabulous. This confirms my idea that there are great coaching opportunities available and is a sign that Bermuda’s catching up with the global movement, recognising the value and importance of coaching. There could be multiple growth opportunities here and the potential to collaborate, share best practice and support and learn from one another.”What a difference. Suddenly I am in a positive frame of mind, thinking creatively, excited about the possibilities and eager to get to work on them. This response would be the result of a ‘mindset of abundance’.The term was first coined by Stephen Covey in his book, ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ and describes operating under the belief that there are enough resources and success to share with everyone. It’s an attitude supported by a healthy self-esteem and confidence in our own worth or value. With an abundance mindset we can dismiss unnecessary competition and instead of scarcity’s win-lose mentality, seek a win-win outcome where the success of others can be celebrated, rather than feeling a threat.This is a significant paradigm shift for anyone accustomed to a perspective of lack and uncertainty and may meet resistance, especially during this current climate as we are bombarded with media headlines declaring ‘not enough money, jobs, housing’ etc.Although the scarcity mentality may feel comfortable because of its familiarity, it only serves to keep us stuck in its negative patterns. If we look the evidence shows plenty of people making money, finding jobs etc. Abundance thinking is the attitude that it can therefore be so for us.The mindset of abundance sets us up for finding the potential of any situation. And we can be immediately more productive because we are not wasting time being fearful, anxious and desperate. Other benefits of an abundance mindset include:l Allowing for failure. Any loss, rejection or mistake can be put in perspective because we know there will be other opportunities… more fish in the sea. It relieves unhelpful, unnecessary pressure and stress and in turn allows us to push more for what we really want in life without the fear of loss and failure.l Intrinsic motivation to attain our goals. Abundance gives us that sense of certainty that what we seek is available and attainable by us which keeps us trying until we succeed.l Greater abundance. Like the reverse, by focusing on our abundance, rather than our lack, we will see more of it. In my example, instead of focusing on the job that has gone, focus on all the jobs that might be out there.An abundance mentality is equally applicable to business dealings as well as our personal perspectives. Opposed to the traditionally cut-throat corporate outlook of ‘battling’ tough competition with an ‘every businessperson for themselves’ attitude, is a mindset of seeking potential collaborations with the competition, negotiating mutually beneficial solutions and agreements (win-win), considering the long-term impact of our actions and valuing and respecting others.This thinking is essential for developing strong and efficient teams. When everyone is working from their strengths while supporting others to do the same, great work gets accomplished. When there is one player out for all the glory (financial gain, recognition etc), the whole team suffers. What if it was part of each person’s job to make the other team members look good?Some steps to enhance an abundance mentality:1. In any situation, list the specific actions you would take if you truly believed ‘there is enough for everybody’, then take those actions. Practice makes perfect.2. Consider the affirmation “I am and I have more than enough to achieve what I want”.3. Look for the positive potential in any seeming disappointment, loss or failure. How can you make this opportunity work for you toward achieving what you really want in life, assured in the abundant thinking that it is ultimately available to you?4. Spend time with others with an abundance mentality, recognised by their generous natures, easy-going attitudes and healthy perspective.5. Find abundance in generosity. Whatever it is you fear you lack, give it away. It is difficult to feel scarcity when you are voluntarily giving that thing up. For example: if you are afraid you lack money, give some away to a good cause or someone who needs it more than you do. If you are panicking that you don’t have enough time, volunteer an hour a week to help someone else. If you are missing love, show affection and share your love with others etc.6. Practice an attitude of gratitude. Take time to stock-take and celebrate all that you have and you may find there’s little more that you actually need.7. Look for ways to support others in their endeavors and offer praise in abundance.Julia Pitt is a trained success coach and certified NLP practitioner.For further information telephone 705-7488 or visit www.juliapittcoaching.com.