There have been some interesting studies posted by various investment and planning firms on the status of comfort level of women with their finances and the advisers that they may work with. Google the description to see the results.Ladies, particularly, those of a certain maturity, independence and financial competency are demanding more from their consultants, yet some studies have found that the stereotypical approach is still used more than it should be, in this day and age.Money is all about emotion, for many, not just the ladies in the group. Emotions and attitudes are generated by issues of control and implied persuasion. Independence in managing one's affairs is often touted as the ideal scenario, but we all bring our true selves into the money decision equation. We work from various mindsets, coupled with emotions, cultural pressures and biases, individual attitudes and insecurities. These emotions are not necessarily tied to age, or generational constraints; they may be a reflection of the family, friends, or a work environment.Some individuals when faced with accountability for their finances become extremely defensive, feeling as if they are reporting to a long out-grown parent (as if it were an allowance). It is sometimes recommended in these situations that each person in the relationship has a separate account for savings and budgeting while the joint account pools their resources to cover general living expenses. The trust element between the couple must be constant and comfortable to effectively manage this arrangement.A survivor of a long relationship may avoid all the financial decisions (at first), feeling lost and very reliant on the advice of others. They do want to understand their financial situations, and given time with collaboration with professionals, they will take control.The source of a individual's wealth (whether man or woman) may determine their attitudes and the kind of professional advice that they think they need. The word wealth connotes millions, but the definition of wealth is like beauty it is in the eye of the beholder. Wealth can simply represent the combined earnings power of two people, over a lifetime who manage their affairs carefully and conservatively.Earned wealth, particularly derived from one family member can bring a host of issues and conflicts to the table. In a traditional relationship, men feel that they have brought the financial stability to the family, while the lady of the house who may not have worked outside the home, feels obligated.She may also have a career, but cannot command the same compensation he receives. There may be the attitude that it isn't her money at all because she did not earn it, and the financial control shifts from parity to uncomfortability on the financial side of the relationship.It isn't always the male spouse in the family who is the largest breadwinner. In modern society, it can just as often be the female out-earning her spouse by considerable amounts. These differences in earning power can become opportunities for greater compatibility or create significant rifts.One of the patterns in couple's finances that is seen more often today is a generational earnings shift. He provides the greater compensation early in the relationship. As his retirement draws nearer, the lady rises to the occasion, often with revisited education upgrades, and becomes the major financial contributor later in the workplace.Attributed wealth - generally, this wealth is acquired by attribution of spouse's efforts in a marriage, a partnership, etc. It is not necessarily first marriage, either, and very often, there is an extended family that has to be considered. In these cases, which can tend to be very complicated, detailed planning does need to implemented. What no one wants to hear, or feel, in a lack of respect that, “he or she married for the money”. The spouse who is on the receiving end of the attributed wealth may be imbued with a very strong sense of responsibility to preserve the family business for future generations.Inherited wealth is different again. Often the legacy banner is flying, with subliminal edicts of the long deceased patriarch / matriarch in cases of inheritance from parents.Beneficiaries of inheritances, large or small, experience a range of emotions. They may feel controlled still from the grave, have torn loyalties with other siblings, and may be conflicted when confronted with financial reality. While times and financial circumstances have changed, they may cling to the last tradition from prior family times. More often then should happen in the years that I have been practising, an individual or a family will hang on to shares or property that can no longer provide income and is steadily decreasing in market value.The small legacy that was counted on to provide sustenance is slipping away, yet the beneficiaries cannot bring themselves to sell it because Dad or Mom wanted them to keep it “in the family.”In one case from many years ago, I worked with the elderly widow of a long gone-to-glory banker. This was a lovely person, but sheltered by her husband beyond belief. Her friends were the same way. She never questioned his expertise and kept to the same method of running her household that her husband instructed her since she was first married.She was too timid to learn about finances, and years after husband passed on, was still writing in the “BOOK of expenses”.I met her when she brought the Book to me for review at the end of the year. Originally, he had left her fairly well provided for, never anticipating that she would live far, far longer that he. Consequently, she had absolutely no reason to think that she would run out of money. A review of her finances indicated that she had less than two years of savings left.This may sound like an incredulous story, but that was the way it was for many back then who did not have access to education and financial information. Those famous words, ‘I will take care of you', are not enough. Today, it is vital that partners, spouses, families share financial information and work toward feeling comfortable with their financial situation, and seek financial help for those difficult decisions if they need it.The author recently presented on “Women and Wealth' with Nadine Gordon Lee, CPS PFS CFP President, Prosper Advisors and Mitchell Freedman,CPS PFS AIF MFAC Financial Advisors, Inc at the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants Advanced Personal Financial Planning Conference on January 10, 2011.Martha Harris Myron is JP, CPA, TEP, and an international Certified Financial Planner practitioner specialising in tax, estate, and strategic retirement services for Bermuda residents with cross-border and multi-national connections, dual citizens of the US and Bermuda, and US citizens living abroad.She is the American Citizens Abroad Country Contact for Bermuda www.aca.org and a Masters in Law candidate in International Tax and Finance. For more information, contact martha.myron[AT]gmail.com or 296-3528 Patterson Partners Ltd