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TACKLING THE SCHOOL BULLY

Mix it Up: From left to right: Ashlee Lambe, Brooke Kerr, Chardonae Rawlins, and Senecia Smith. Chardonae and Senecia are Angels. As part of a project to promote friendship and reduce bullying the Bermuda High School for Girls held a 'Mix it Up at Lunch'. Students were paired up with another student they didn't know and spent the lunch time getting to know each other. Some 150 students participated.

You may not remember the name of your third grade teacher, but you probably remember the name of the third grade bully.

Not so long ago, a teacher's standard response to school bullying was "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words may never hurt you" .

But nowadays educators recognise that cruel words can leave lifelong emotional scars.

That is why the Bermuda High School for Girls has decided to take 'the bully by the horns'.

"A group of 18 'angels' have been trained to become peer mediators," as part of the Angels programme, said school guidance counsellor Niamah Denbrook.

Members were taught peer mediation skills by the Coalition for the Protection of Children.

Two of the angels, Sabina Stan, 12, and Senecia Smith, 14, are already putting their newfound skills to work.

Senecia said: "We are trying to promote friendship and stop bullying throughout the school.

"If someone is being bullied they can come to us and we will try and intervene."

Ms Denbrook said that girls and boys bully one another in different ways.

"Boys tend to fight it out and let it go," said Ms Denbrook. "Because girls are social, they use relationships against each other. It is very sneaky and underhanded and many times it goes on for a long period. It is more psychological."

Bullying stems from all the usual reasons the other girl is a little different, she looked at someone else's boyfriend the wrong way, or she wears the wrong clothes.

But unfortunately, in recent years bullying has gone high-tech.

"One day my friends came in and said they didn't want to be friends anymore," said Senecia. "They got everyone on their side and started calling me names.

"They were saying things on [the social networking site] Facebook and on MSN Messenger. They were also texting me on my cell phone."

At least four young people in the United States committed suicide last year due to cyberbullying. It is becoming common enough in the United States, Europe and Australia that people have coined the term "cyberbullycide" referring to suicides induced by high-tech harassment.

This form of bullying can be more insidious because it follows the child home by way of her cell phone, or home computer and is often unrelenting.

Ms Denbrook said, like most people, she experienced bullying as a child.

"In my case, I wish a teacher had stepped in," she said. "I wish they would have said something or acknowledged it."

Luckily, she had enough self-confidence that the teasing didn't break her down.

"We need to work on all kids raising their self-esteem so things like that don't destroy them," she said.

This year, teachers in the secondary school were trained in how to address bullying. It is no longer satisfactory for the teacher to recite a cliché and walk away.

"It is very important that teachers be on-board," said Ms Denbrook. "Before I started this programme about two months ago, we talked to the teachers and what they could do to intervene.

"We trained them about the importance of not overlooking something that may seem trivial to them."

The school now has a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying.

Ms Denbrook said they also try to work with the aggressor in a bullying situation.

"We help the person who is aggressive have empathy for others. Sometimes they just don't feel it. Bullying is a learned behaviour. It is not something that comes naturally."

And she said if kids chose to bully through Facebook and text messaging, they could be caught.

"There are records," said Ms Denbrook. "There have been instances we have taken away E-mail accounts."

For more information about cyberbullying go to websites http://www.makeadifferenceforkids.org/cyberbullying.html or http://wiredsafety.org/.