Hotel.

*** Described as a Gothic ghost thriller, this play was apparently absolutely terrifying when it was performed in London's West End, according to a friend of mine.

Unfortunately, if you're hoping to spend the evening perched uncomfortably on the edge of your seat with an icy tingle occasionally shooting down your spine, you're probably going to be disappointed here.

Perhaps it's the comfy atmosphere of the Gazebo Lounge, the limited ability of the actors or the blindingly foreseeable `twists' in the story line -- whatever, I don't think this particular play has travelled well from the London stage.

That's a shame because the basic set-up is original. The action takes place on the stage of a small theatre about 50 years ago. Kipps, a young lawyer (played by litigation lawyer Kelvin Hastings-Smith), having undergone a terrifying and ultimately tragic ordeal, now seeks to exorcise his past by reliving the nightmare on stage. To this end he approaches the help of a professional stage actor -- played here by Thomas Saunders -- asking him to bring his manuscript to life.

What follows is a dress rehearsal of the play, with `the actor' (we never learn his name) playing the central role of Kipps with the real Kipps stepping into the shoes of the handful of minor roles that all play a part in his story.

Such role swapping requires a certain amount of acting ability if the audience isn't to become a little confused. It takes more than a change of spectacles to transform a character from a young, nervous lawyer from the south of England to wealthy northern landowner to mute carriage driver to amiable landlord.

The get out clause is that, because the character of Kipps has no experience of acting, we shouldn't expect any great performances from him when he's play acting these characters. But this argument falls down when you realise that some of these characters are more convincing than Kipps himself. (Not surprising really -- it probably is easier to play the role of a monosyllabic, stony-faced carriage driver than a lawyer who is wracked with self doubt, fear and who hides a terrifying past).

Thomas Saunders was more believable both as the actor and the actor playing Kipps.

Once again the running time of this production is a little long. It's asking a lot for two actors to command the attention of an audience for two hours, regardless of how riveting the story. (One of the friends in my party confessed to almost nodding off halfway through -- and she'd already spent most of the day in bed).

On a positive note the production team have done a good job in utilising the limited space of the Gazebo Lounge and the location switches were handled well, with some ingenious surprises. All the same, it takes more than a bit of blue lighting and an ice machine to transport an audience to a desolate windswept marshland where the spirit of a bitter spinster gets her kicks by enticing innocent strangers onto the dangerous quicksands.

The climax of Kipps' own story is far too predictable to be in any way frightening and the play descends into satire with the final, supposedly chilling `twist'.

"Quite spooky'' somebody said to me after the curtain came down. I failed to suppress a giggle.

This play is typical of the type of stuff that featured in that 1970's low budget, half-hour television show `Tales of the Unexpected' (and the makers of that programme should have been sued under the Trades Descriptions Act -- how we used to laugh). Putting it on a small stage with a limited special effects budget, amateur actors and an overly long script is asking too much of it.

Horrifying ? Only the admission fee, which, thankfully I didn't have to pay.

After seeing it on Saturday night I slept like a baby.

`The Woman in Black' begins another four night run this Wednesday and will also be performed for eight nights in May.

Gareth Finighan REVIEW REV THREATRE THR