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No miracle for getting over a stroke

That was the claim made by stroke victim and businessman Mr. Mark Selley.Mr. Selley said the shock statistic prompted him to found a support group for sufferers.

That was the claim made by stroke victim and businessman Mr. Mark Selley.

Mr. Selley said the shock statistic prompted him to found a support group for sufferers.

But he warned there were no miracles for getting over a stroke.

Mr. Selley, 41, was speaking to Hamilton Lions Club at their weekly luncheon.

He told club members how he helped found the Bermuda Stroke & Family Support Association.

Together with Mrs. Hilary Soares, Mr. Selley created the association in July 1992 to offer practical advice and comfort to stroke-afflicted patients and their families.

Mr. Selley spoke of his own difficulties in coming to terms with the affliction and how a support group at a Boston hospital where he had been treated for four months, inspired him to found a similar venture.

"I said to myself at the time that if I did nothing else I would open a similar one here,'' he said. Mr. Selley said on average 1.6 people a week suffered a stroke in Bermuda.

"So I could see a real need for a support group in Bermuda.'' Mr. Selley recalled with emotion how, about a year after his return to Bermuda in March 1992, Government backbencher and surgeon the late Hon. John Stubbs, had offered him words of encouragement.

"He told me that there are two things that medicine can't give you which are guts and courage, and then he hugged me,'' said Mr. Selley.

"So when we were doing therapy together after he contracted cancer, and I saw him labouring over his walking exercises, I went up and said to him: `Yes Doc, guts and courage'.'' Mr. Selley who owns his own boat trailer and marine brokerage business and is the father of twin three-year-old sons, said learning to live with a stroke was "frightening and confusing.'' But he said that the stroke support association suggested a number of positive ways victims could come to terms with their limitations.

"Setting goals,'' he said, "both long and short term is very important. A neurologist once said to me: `Young man, what is your ultimate goal?.. .Your ultimate goal should be to get up and get on with your life'.'' "So that's what I did. When I got back, I hit the ground running.'' The stroke association -- a registered charity -- also gave advice to families and friends of stroke victims, pointed out Mr. Selley.

He suggested visitors make short visits and phrase questions with care so that speech impaired patients do not have to make lengthy answers.

"Therapy alone will not help a stroke patient get better,'' said Mr. Selley.

"There are no miracles for getting over a stroke. But after the tears and the upset comes the bullheadedness,'' he said.

"I believe that nothing is impossible but some things are more difficult than others. The most important gift we all have is our health - we must never take it or anyone else's for granted.''