It is often said that one arm of Government tends not to know what the other is doing.

But Hester wishes all of Government's arms had been around to help her battle mosquitoes in the Botanical Gardens last weekend.

Having pulled up on its lush lawns for a little picnic with some luscious champers and an even more luscious companion - sorry kids, that is another story - she hardly expected her romantic tete-a-tete to turn Tet offensive.

Bombarded by beasties from every angle, Hester didn't even have to coyly ask her beau to kindly remove his hand from her leg as he was so busy swatting both hands about his own person.

Closer examination of one of the uninvited guests found it bore a disturbing similarity to the dengue-fever carrying mosquito Government has been warning us about for the past two years.

Certainly, Hester should know, she lost many of her prize orchids when told dumping out flower pots would be doing her part for the betterment of the Island by eliminating beastly breeding grounds.

But while she's been sacrificing for the greater good, it seems Government has not even been tending to its own backyard - parks.

With the news the West Nile carrying beastie has also appeared in our lovely isle, Hester hopes Pest Control big-wig David Kendall will crack down on his Government colleagues.

At the very least, someone from Government should come around and help her scratch that spot on her back she can't quite reach.

Proof, if ever it were needed, that some people have more money than sense. Word reaches Hester that one of Saudi Arabia's richest men was a little miffed when The Daily revealed that he had arrived on the Island for a short stay recently. (presumably, with all this rain we've been having, he wanted a break from the Saudi sun)

In fact, so upset was the oil-rich Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Bin Abdulaziz, he allegedly offered a $10,000 reward - admittedly a drop in the ocean for someone worth a cool $16 billion - to anyone who would reveal the identity of the informant who went squealing to the Press about the Royal whereabouts.

Although Hester saw it as an ideal opportunity for poacher to turn gamekeeper, she decided not to cash in by giving herself up. After all, what did Prince Alwaleed have planned once he had apprehended the mystery informer? A public flogging perhaps?

Hester hears that one resident Brummie and Aston Villa fan had a fitting finale to his Island stay at the weekend. Long time Robin Hood footballer Russell Faulkner had his last run (or should it be stagger) out for the Hood in a Sunday morning 'England versus Scotland' testimonial, prior to his departure to the cooler climes of Stirling, Scotland.

His team obviously needed some help in the scoring department and turned to what can only be called the ringer of the century for assistance, none other than former Aston Villa European Cup medal winner Kenny Swain. Not only did the sprightly Kenny, who is knocking on half a century, oblige by turning out for the 'England' team, but he scored all of their three goals!

His performance is doubly impressive, since he didn't play a full game and is more used to the dark, damp weather of England. His run-out certainly impressed Russell, who admitted to watching Kenny in the early 1980s from the terraces of Villa Park, but it remains to be seen whether Bermudian-status will be conferred upon Kenny so he can beef up the national team!