Dear Annie: I am struggling with some major issues with my wife. We both have older children from previous marriages. We also have two young boys together.My 40-something wife dresses very provocatively. Her daily attire is short shorts and revealing tops. When she takes the kids to the pool, she wears tiny bikinis. Last year, she got a belly button ring. To her credit, she stays in exceptional physical shape. But I wish she would dress and act more like a mom. Should I overlook this and be thankful, or tell her she should try to age gracefully? My wife is also a bit of a gold digger. I knew this when we married, but it seems like she’s worse now that my business is doing better. For every dollar I make, she wants to spend two. The constant need for spending is driving me crazy. Most of the time, I get the impression she thinks I’m just an open chequebook. Divorce would hurt the kids. Counselling helped me, but my wife thought it was stupid and a waste of money, so we stopped. I hope you can give me some advice on what else to try. — Headed for InsanityDear Insanity: If you tell this woman with a great body who likes to show it off that she should “age gracefully”, she is not likely to take it well. And you married her knowing she liked spending money, so asking her to cut back now could indeed alter how she sees you. Your wife isn’t interested in changing her lifestyle or appearance, and that’s why she refuses counselling. Please go back to your counsellor, without your wife, and work on these issues until you are comfortable with whatever changes you feel you need to make.

Dear Annie$>I am 26, single, and have a good career. I was raised by my grandparents and moved out after graduating college. The problem? My 80-year-old grandfather. He’s a former engineer who has chosen to keep working and is positively brilliant. However, all my life, I’ve had trouble talking to him. Everything turns into a fight, from whether or not I really have the flu to whether I’ll stop by to have dinner. Any opinion contrary to his creates friction. This devolves into him calling me names, claiming I hate him, and so on. Ignoring him, laughing it off or leaving the room only postpones the argument until the next time I see him.I walk on eggshells to avoid any possible verbal land mines before speaking. My grandmother talked us both into therapy a while back, but he faked his way through sessions and then yelled at me afterward for what I said.

I love him very much nonetheless and know I have a limited amount of time remaining with him, but how can we possibly continue to interact? — Engineer’s Granddaugh<$>Dear Granddaught <$>We commend you for accepting your grandfather’s prickly personality and not letting it keep you from seeing him. Frankly, we think he likes to argue and does whatever he can to rile you up. Next time, smile, say, “I love you, Grandpa”, and give him a big hug. It will stop him dead in his tracks, and if the argument continues later, try not to take the bait.

Dear An: <$>I read with interest the letter from “Holding My Nose”, who said her daughter’s 13-year-old friend had body odour. I knew a girl in high school with the same problem. For her, being dirty and smelly was the only way she could keep her stepfather from sexually abusing her. I hope someone can find out if this girl has a similar problem. — Seen It in Wissin<$>

Dear Wiscin: <$>We were surprised (and saddened) by the number of people who suggested the girl cultivated an odour to keep an abuser at arm’s length. We hope “Holding My Nose” will do what she can to check.