Argentina thrashing Trinidad & Tobago at hockey, the Chileans going mad for judo and the perfect method of committing murder were all on display at the Pan American Games on Monday.

With no Bermudians in action until the afternoon, I decided to take a whistle-stop tour around the grounds of the National stadium to take in as many sports as possible, including those that are usually out of the limelight.

And it’s to the swimming pool where all potential killers must head as the simplest way to get away with the most horrific crime of all is to invite your intended victim to play a game of water polo.

You must, of course, be on opposite sides but once that selection problem has been solved, legalised drowning is yours to exploit.

In the third quarter of the game between Canada and Argentina in the women’s competition, the 14 players on show seemed to re-enact Leonardo DiCaprio’s drowning scene in Titanic with alarming regularity.

Yes, the occasional foul was given, but from what I can gather only when somebody’s face turns blue. That’s not to deny the athleticism on show with the women displaying speed, stamina and skill in the water, but how the players avoid serious injury in every game is remarkable.

Next time you come across a group of athletes with black eyes, cut cheeks and crinkly fingers, it’s a safe bet that they are water polo players.

That sport is more violent than judo, which takes place a few hundred yards from the aquatic centre in a small stadium with two mats.

My time there coincided with the semi-final in the men’s 100kg event between home favourite, Thomas Brecino of Chile, and Kaya Santos of Brazil.

Now, the Chileans go crazy if their athlete finishes last in a heat, so it’s hard to describe the decibel levels when the focus of their support is in with a chance of a medal.

It was surprising that the umpire of the men’s singles tennis final made it out of the stadium alive a night earlier after a couple of contentious late decisions went against Tomas Barrios in his loss to Argentina’s Facundo Diaz Acosta, so it was with trepidation and not wishing to be a witness to a crime in a foreign land that I hoped Brecino would make it through.

The expectant crowd did not have to wait long to roar as the Chilean needed only 2min and 15sec of the one-sided five-minute match to throw his opponent over his right hip and win by ippon.

Brecino remained calm through the clamour invoking thoughts of Rudyard Kipling: “If you can keep your head, while all about you are losing theirs . . .”

From the judo mats, I hotfooted it to the hockey where our Caribbean friends from Trinidad & Tobago were finding the going tough against Argentina.

As I walked down to the stadium, the announcer could just be heard saying “fifth goal for Acosta”, so I knew the scoreline was going to be a heavy one and I took my seat just as Argentina’s women scored their fifteenth goal, this one from a penalty corner.

It was hard not to feel sorry for the demoralised Trinidadians, with a goal hitting the back of the net every 90 seconds or so. The match finished 21-0 and came a day after Argentina’s men side beat Peru 22-0.

It’s been a tough trip for the Trinidad women, who have also lost 15-0 to the United States and 11-0 to Uruguay in their group. Here’s hoping they do not take this to heart.

Now usually everybody saves the best for last but I’m taking a different tack by saving the worst for last.

On the way back from the hockey field, which is one of the furthest stadiums away from the exit/entrance, the fan zone is passed and an intriguing blue tent with flashing lights attracted my attention, especially as a steady stream of spectators were making their way in.

It turns out that running parallel to the Pan American Games, in which some of the world’s finest athletes are showcasing their ability, is the Pan American Esports Championship.

These Esports championships consist of players taking to their computers to play “revolutionary football simulation game” efootball or Dota2, which apparently is a 5v5 multiplayer online battle arena in which two teams of players compete against each other on a predefined battlefield.

In the promotional material it says “This marquee event features globally renowned multi-genre esports titles and athletes from 41 nations across the Americas”.

Now I’m all for inclusivity, but athletes, really? Can people who spend 23 hours a day in a dark room really be called athletes?

I think I’ll stick to water polo.