These scenarios are examples of real-life experiences of people who have sought the assistance of the Centre Against Abuse.

• “On many occasions I would spend my lunch hour with a friend of mine.

“I usually disregarded his sexual remarks although at the time I thought he was comical.

“As I felt quite comfortable with him, I asked him to accompany me to my good friend’s wedding.

“Upon his request, I agreed he could come over to discuss the wedding arrangements.

“He came by about a week before the wedding with a prized bottle of vodka and asked if I wanted to partake. We started drinking and conversing.

“Before I knew it, we had had several drinks and were both laughing hysterically at his jokes.

“A few hours later, I found myself alone, half undressed with the cover from the couch over my body.

“I tried to remember exactly what had gone down, but everything was a blur.

“After several minutes of trying to put the pieces together, I realised what had happened. I felt violated and ashamed.

“Then I felt angry and confused. I didn’t know where to turn as I thought people would say I had asked for it.”

• “My partner had been physically and emotionally abusing me for about 12 months.

“It started with pushing and shoving and taking my keys when I wanted to leave.

“We would have evenings where he’d been drinking and start accusing me of being unfaithful, although that was not the word he used, among other derogatory and hurtful names.

“It would go on for hours until he would fall asleep.

“The next day it was always the same, he was apologetic, showered me with gifts, and told me he didn’t know why he said and did the things he did — but swore that he would never do it again.

“I believed him at first but after the third time I knew it was a mistake and I had to get out.

“The final straw was the worst behaviour, hours of verbal abuse yelled into my face, cruel name calling and then he became violent when I tried to call someone.

“That night it dawned on me, things would never change.”

Anyone in an abusive relationship with their current or former partner, or who has been sexually assaulted and is in need of services to help them, can call the Centre Against Abuse on 292-4366 or e-mail info@centreagainstabuse.bm