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For the love of God – mow, blow and go away!

I really love it when people take care of their gardens. As a matter of fact, kerb appeal is one of the nicest things you can do for your house — and your neighbours!

Sadly, one of the houses in my neighbourhood is in a very sorry state. It looks like it’s giving Pembroke Dump a run for its money; what with wooden crates stacked up in the backyard; with some in the process of being taken apart in an attempt at starting some kind of project that has gone horribly wrong; junk everywhere; knee-high grass and their dogs have beaten a pathway around the yard that resembles Vesey Street racetrack.

In my opinion, it’s just plain lazy and brings down the whole area, not to mention what it does to the value of my property. Thank goodness this is the exception on our street, as all of the homeowners pretty much keep their yards immaculate.

Now, at the other end of the spectrum.

One of the most enjoyable things about being retired is having an afternoon siesta after a morning of pottering around the garden — a bit of planting, a little bit of pruning my roses and watering flowers, and hosing down my furniture because the birds seem to think it a great place do their business.

I like to sit in my Adirondack chair and have a glass of chilled Chablis, just one, of course, I was told — and firmly believe it’s good for me — to be followed by an afternoon nap. However, like clockwork, the “mow, blow and go” patrols turn up at one of my neighbour’s houses and it’s nearly always early in the morning and last thing in the afternoon/early evening.

I don’t mind the sound of the lawnmower; it’s a calming engine, humming sound with the side benefit of freshly cut grass. Then out comes the dreaded leaf blower, which everyone hates — never in the history of humankind has a more annoying apparatus been invented. Even the manufacturers know how irritating it is.

In an attempt to give it a bit of good PR, they have tried renaming this annoying garden tool from Hell, giving it names such as Debris Remover or Electric Broom. Not only does it make a hell of a hullabaloo, but there is also debris and dust that go all over the place, most notably in my garden and all over my car.

I now know that I am going to have to cut my nap short and rake up their foliage on my property. It’s amazing how when I confront the “mow, blow and go” gang about the incoming debris, the English-speaking skills magically disappear. But it’s not just on my property that I have the problem, it’s also while driving my bike when somehow this tornado of dirt and leaves rises in front of me, followed behind by the leaf blower, the operator of which is usually donning his headphones totally oblivious to anyone else around him.

I’m not saying that a ban on leaf blowers needs to be imposed, but indeed some restrictions, such as the time of the day it’s operated — not 8 in the morning on a Saturday or Sunday or any day, as a matter of fact. Also it would be considerate if they could control where the crap gets blown. Not on other people’s gardens and their vehicles, and indeed not on to public roads.

Even in society, the words “leaf blower” have been used as an insult — “You’re such a leaf blower!” — meaning someone who is in a mess and to clean up the situation, blows the mess on to someone else's side.

I tell you what: I need a leaf blower, but for people!

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Published June 19, 2024 at 8:00 am (Updated June 18, 2024 at 5:36 pm)

For the love of God – mow, blow and go away!

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